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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Bad Situations
Posted by: Don, July 18th, 2015, 7:06pm
Bad Situations by Leon Gaitanis - Short, Drama - A call girl convinced a friend to kill a pimp.  56 pages - pdf format

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Bad Situations by Leon Gaitanis - Short - {no logline} 4 pages - pdf, format 8)





Posted by: cloroxmartini, July 19th, 2015, 11:39am; Reply: 1

EXT.OFFICE BUILDING LATE IN THE DAY
We open on the forth floor window of an Architectural firm.
Through the window we see JACK (Approx. 40 years old
Drafter) working away on the company’s computer, developing
construction plans for homes in the outer suburbs of a
modern city.

BACKGROUND OF JACK IN WORKFORCE - CAN BE IGNORED
As usual JACK is behind in his work, tired and worried that
his fellow employees will notice the mistakes in his work.
He is also quite a slow worker as JACK has never seen the
computer as his friend, but more of an enemy

This is why I won't read further. You've written a whole lot just to say:

INT. ARCHITECT'S OFFICE - DAY

JACK, 40, a drafter trying to make partner for the last 20 years, slaves away at his computer.

Ask yourself why you wrote all that other stuff...stuff is a nice word. Really, ask. Then answer that question and post your response. I won't judge you, I want to know.
Posted by: TonyDionisio, July 19th, 2015, 12:32pm; Reply: 2
35 page short is tough to get into. I'm guessing 30 of the 35 are overwritten as per above.
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