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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Comedy Scripts  /  He's A Dog
Posted by: Don, August 20th, 2015, 11:39pm
He's A Dog by Cheryl Bealer-Wynton - Comedy - After he accidentally ingests his girlfriend's research project, Jim turns into a dog and finds he must use his canine abilities to keep her out of the clutches of another man. - html, format 8)
Posted by: ChrisRamsdell, November 29th, 2015, 12:02pm; Reply: 1
Read the first few pages and I like it.  Good dialogue and funny moments.
My only suggestion is less parenthesis in dialogue.  Actions would read better not in the dialogue but the story.  
I'm a dog guy too and thought your premise was funny.
Good luck.
Posted by: Erica, November 29th, 2015, 1:01pm; Reply: 2
The premises is cute and I think it would make a good family comedy movie.  For me it starts out a little too cliche but maybe that's what makes a good family film.

Like Chris said, you need to move most of your parenthesis into action lines.

The dialogue seems smooth and it flows nice, making it an easy read.  I like that it gets right into the story of changing to a dog.
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