Hi Niek,
RichardR gives some feedback and, especially, suggestions for playing up the son's adeptness of dealing with his father's lapses. Sort of like your last line, which made me chuckle.
The lack of suspense/story, makes it come off much more like an Alzheimer's PSA than a movie tackling the subject. When the dad started, almost randomly, spouting facts about the illness I started skimming. Except for the formatting and your dialogue (too literal), your writing is pretty good though.
Quoted Text RICK Don't worry mom, everything is going to be alright.
Rick hangs up. For a second he watches Lucy, she is still asleep. He decides not to wake her. Without getting himself dressed he runs downstairs. He is obviously in a hurry. He runs out of his house and jumps into his car. With high speed he drives away.
INT./EXT. RICK'S CAR. NIGHT.
Rick is driving on the highway way too fast. |
I'd drop the entire part in bold. Nothing important happens and it'll just eat a lot of the runtime.
Also, you have a habit of adding descriptions in your scene headings (A DARK BEDROOM, A REMOTE LAKE etc.). Cut everything except the nouns.
Last thing, you write "CONTINUES" instead of "CONT'D" for continued dialogue. Which is usually formatted as such: RICK (CONT'D)
Despite everything, you have a solid basis for a good script. Keep at it.
Sandro