The Fools Guide to the End of the World

Posted by: Don, October 17th, 2015, 9:20am

The Fools Guide to the End of the World by Logan McDonald - Short, Drama - A college aged, self-proclaimed prophet leads three of his friends toward an apocalypse that is not really happening. 32 pages - pdf, format 8)

Posted by: nemo, October 19th, 2015, 12:45am; Reply: 1

I was curious from the logline and you might have a good idea there.

A couple things that were very distracting was spelling and grammar.
We'll and this happens a few times.
STEPHEN
I like it. Cold air is
invigorating! Anyways, We don’t
know how many more of these nights
well have.

avoid ing...try "they wear everything needed..." pg 1

Really just go through and proofread, touch it up a little bit.

Nemo

Posted by: Logan McDonald, October 19th, 2015, 9:22am; Reply: 2

Thanks Nemo!
Grammer is a weak point i'm working on and that's never good for an aspiring writer. Were you able to get any farther? I would apreciate feelback on the whole story as well!
Best,
Logan

Posted by: DustinBowcot (Guest), October 19th, 2015, 10:19am; Reply: 3

Quoted from Logan McDonald

Thanks Nemo!
Grammer is a weak point i'm working on and that's never good for an aspiring writer. Were you able to get any farther? I would apreciate feelback on the whole story as well!
Best,
Logan

Grammar... I'm... Further... Appreciate...

Seems that you have a lot to work on.

In regard to feedback on your whole story, there are plenty of paid services out there that offer that. However, on a free website forum you have to take what you can get. But the old saying, you get back what you put in really does apply around here.

Join in... for real... not just a few posts and a few reads of non members work. You have to really get involved. It either costs you time or money. If you're not prepared to stake either then you'll have to make do with whatever advice people are kind enough to give.

Posted by: RichardR, October 19th, 2015, 11:56am; Reply: 4

Logan,

Comments can be the end of the world.

You need help. Your writing doesn't meet basic expectations.

Every sentences begins with a Capital letter.

'well' is not 'we'll'.

'its' is not 'it's'.

'theirs' is not 'there's'.

And those are a few mistakes in the first 2 pages.

Look, every reader is looking for reason not to read your work. They're LOOKING for a reason. Poor English skills fulfills their need. They will never reach FADE OUT on a poorly written script. You need to learn to write better.

And so, after a couple more pages of idle chat and smoking weed--and a few more mistakes--I must give up on this one.

Best
Richard

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