Gary by Royle Miralles - Short, Drama, Comedy - Young woman attempts to reunite with surfer boyfriend after a year's absence against her better judgment and her parent's admonitions. 13 pages - pdf, format 8)

Minor distractions
- Is a VW Bug important?
- A few times you misuse the singular possessive apostrophe or the plural,: parents' neighbors'
- Why would you call it a SHACK in the slugline, the call it a COTTAGE elsewhere?  Just say the cottage is crappy.
- Pg 6 has a flashback?
- Pg 7: the two sentences "Gets up...her feet" should be merged into one.
- Pg 8: Another flashback, we presume?  Or this more seems like a flash-forward?
- Pg 8: Why not give the sister a name?
- Pg 8 (and others): The mother, and to a lesser extent the father, sure are preachy and long-winded. Annoyingly so.

Major distraction
- All it took was a shave, a haircut and breakfast to melt her heart?  My kinda gal!

Good
Pg 8: knot of wood stares back at her.

Random note
- Not sure if you're male or female (but it really doesn't not matter) but you write with a clear feminine viewpoint and style.  Just thought you might wanna know how your tone and POV resonate.