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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Drama Scripts  /  Convergence: The Passion of Yusef Abdulnajjar
Posted by: Don, November 22nd, 2015, 4:58pm
Convergence: The Passion of Yusef Abdulnajjar by Henry S Brown, Jr. - Drama - Yusef Abdulnajjar, a young Muslim man who is the true Second Coming of Christ, and his closest partners struggle against the manipulations of a powerful conservative media organization determined to destroy them and their message of peace, both figuratively and literally. 117 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: cloroxmartini, November 24th, 2015, 12:35pm; Reply: 1
That is one big hurdle to jump over and you'd better have the stride for it, Henry.
Posted by: cloroxmartini, November 24th, 2015, 1:19pm; Reply: 2
Yusuf concludes his speech...one he didn't give unless you count a minute of talking a speech.

I'll be frank, write a book. This is preaching and when I go to the movies, I am not interested in preaching. You ever read Atlas Shrugged? I skimmed the preaching in that book. So...I have skimmed to page 21, I mean scroll that iPad, man. Massive blocks of dialogue. Am I missing important stuff? Do I care? No. You have set the second coming of Christ here and so far it's all talk. That is book stuff.

So skimming to page 40 something,

Police  Officer  Zach  Dawson,  a  clean-cut  white  man  in  his  30s, enters  the  store,  one  hand  on  his  gun  holster  and  one adjusting  his  sunglasses.

The problem with skimming is I missed the part where this is a night scene so I had to go back and look.

This is such stereotypical bigotry it's laughable.

Still, massive blocks of dialogue. Pages of it.

You kill Yusuf on page 99 and the script goes to page 116.

I skimmed enough to know the story. Not for the screen. No Jew would do what David did. Not the ones I know.

This didn't grab me at all. The subject is huge to begin with. To be even a little believable you have to think these three Faiths can converge and if you're even a tenth of a student of current events, you know they won't. If you have spent any time with real Jews you know they won't have anything to do with Mohamed or Jesus.

And maybe that is your point? However the stereotypical antagonists are just that.

The log line said "true second coming" and I hoped I would be surprised but I wasn't. False advertising.
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