First thoughts.. I don't think anyone actually cares about James Dean anymore. What did the guy do, really? He died in a car crash. That's what he's known for. Not for the great work he did, but for the great work he might have done had he lived.
If he was ugly nobody would care.
I think that as a race of human beings that we need to start considering why these things are pushed upon us through the media. How they are used to manipulate the way we think.
Even here, with this script, the name is used to enhance its visibility and therefore your own as a writer. So, I suppose in a way you're actually setting a very high bar for yourself. Anyone with the nerve to use something like this to further themselves better be very, very good.
I see this is based on your own short story that I've never heard of. Is it well known? If it is based on your own work and that work isn't known, then there isn't any point in mentioning it. It's simply a short screenplay.
Code EXT. STREETS OF CHOLAME, CALIFORNIA DAY0
SEPTEMBER 30, 1955. A PORSCHE 550 SPYDER drives down the
road. JAMES DEAN and a friend are in the car. Turn west on
ROUTE 466. They whiz by a FORD station wagon. |
|
You've got a lot to learn. Screenplay is a visual format. You don't tell the story, you show it. It's very difficult to master.
There is a lot wrong with the above and I've just realised how long it's going to take to explain why. Oh well, I've started so I'll finish, as the late, great Magnus would say. Magnusson that is, not Carlsen. He's still alive... but as equally great.
Probably best to just break it down actually:
The above belongs in a super.. unless you want to go the visual route. For example, you could have a guy buy a newspaper, read the back page, it gets taken by the wind, lands on a sleeping tramp's face with the date and year clearly emblazoned on the front. Maybe it was a special year, a special day in more ways than one. Research is your friend... and so is visual story telling.
Code A PORSCHE 550 SPYDER drives down the
road. |
|
A Porsche 550 Spyder and it is merely being driven along a road? Come now. Replace drives with races and you create a far more likely image, and, indeed, the actual image you want to convey. It's not simply being driven is it?
Code JAMES DEAN and a friend are in the car. |
|
Where in the car are they? Who's driving? FRIEND also needs to be in uppercase as it's a new character.
Is this an order? What if I'm nowhere near Route 466? If you're suggesting that the car turns onto Route 466 then say so.
Code They whiz by a FORD station wagon. |
|
What is the Ford Station Wagon doing? Is it being driven too? Maybe it is parked up? Broken down? Being chased by police? The visuals are incredibly unclear. Write what we see, that is all.