Sick Training by George ve Gänæaard - Short, Drama - When the company's sole accountant announces he will commit suicide at the end of the day, the VP does everything he can to stop him. 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Like an episode of office.

The logline is spot on.

There was some good humor in this, I laughed a few times. Your writing needs technical work (like the ending, which was pointless in a way) but you told the story well.

Hey George,

This was written very well. I liked the set up and the characters motivations are simple and understandable. The only issue I have with this had been echoed before with the abrupt ending. It seemed out of place for a dark comedy and felt like slapstick. There were a couple typos but these can be cleaned up with a quick sweep.

Good Job!

Logan

George,

Congrats on a solid job.  It's a good idea, and the characters just zany enough.  The problems I find come at the ending, which is abrupt and predicted.  I don't mean the jump but the jump in front of a truck.  I would rather have a slightly twisted ending.  He changes his mind, he takes the promotion, something other than suicide.  That's a personal preference.  Otherwise, this works pretty well.

Best
Richard