The Weight of Secrets by Steve Meredith - Short, Drama - In the early morning hours on his first day as Adams County Sheriff, Sam Nelson walks into a local bar, where his predecessor, Henry West sits waiting for him.  During the hours before he officially reports for duty, Sam learns one last lesson from Henry - the most important lesson of all. - pdf, format 8)

Hey Steve.  

I didn't think the story was too bad, although I'm a little confused with the interaction between Henry and Sam after Henry confesses.  Henry says that if Sam decides to arrest him, he'll come with him and sign a confession.  Then Sam says he's not going to do that because of the circumstances.  And he won't arrest him since the DA wouldn't prosecute him if Sam arrested him.  But then Sam says if Henry comes in and confesses on his own, the DA would prosecute him.  The part that confuses me is that if he signs a confession either way, what's the difference?    Why would the DA not prosecute him if he was arrested and signed a confession compared to him coming in on his own accord and turning himself in, and signing a confession.  A confession is a confession regardless if he's arrested, or if he does it on his own.  The only difference in a confession would be if the confession was considered coerced, and in this case I don't have the slightest feeling that a confession, when he said he's willing to do it either way, would be.

But, regardless of that, I did like the concept.  I just had some trouble with that part.

Good luck.

Nolan

A few thoughts, just my opinion of course...

On page 3 and 4 Sam talks about John Worthington as if he knows him and his family or at least he knows them by reputation... but a few lines later he doesn't seem to know that John has been dead for 23 years.

We get no additional details on why John was at his home or how he knows he was guilty, feels like  Sam would want to know more.

The rest is pretty straightforward, and that's the bit I think that could be punched up a bit, maybe some twist or turn that would make it less linear and obvious.

Decently written but a little vanilla for my taste.

Anthony

Hi Steve,

I also didn't buy the fact that Sam didn't know the son of the US Attorney Gen was dead.,, for 23 years, with a local bridge and scholarship named after him.

I don't think the cutting the brake line scene was necessary, he speaks about knowing about where the brake lines are, just move straight to the car in the river... it's obvious what happened. (and probably makes it easier for a director not to find a 23 year younger look a like).

Also struggling with the guilt for 23 years when the kid had killed his wife? I suppose so. I think many people would have no problems with guilt if they got away with that. Perhaps some new evidence (or even years ago) on his wife's murder coming into play which proved John W didn't kill her. Now that would play heavily on Sam's mind.

I think the end just fizzled for me. I was waiting for the twist but it just organically reached a known conclusion. I know the story is about one dying man's struggle to live with his past  the dialogue was compelling in that regard.

Cheers  Chris

Quoted Text A moment later, the door in the opposite corner of the room opens, and newly-elected Adams County Sheriff SAM NELSON, Henry's replacement, walks in. Sam and Henry are the only two people in the bar.

Two unfilmables - newly elected and Henry's replacement. - You should delete these - you establish these facts later anyway.

Quoted Text SAM: (taken aback) Who? HENRY: A man by the name of John Worthington. SAM: (you're shitting me) John Worthington?! HENRY: Yeah. Ben Worthington's son. SAM: The U.S. Attorney General? His son? And you have proof of this?

A bit too on the nose for me.

The dialogue was tedious for me - it didn't seem natural - way to much forced exposition throughout.

The ending was kind of a clunker - all you really needed was him showing up at the jail.

Sorry - overall, this one was not for me. Best of luck.

Steve,

Some notes.

First, I like the title.  It sets the tone.

Like the other commenters, I find the story line a bit confusing and forced.  The guy has lived 23 years with the burden of murder which drove him to drink and ruin, and now, he has to confess.  The other guy says it doesn't matter and then it does.  The ending is ho-hum.  

You might rethink this with the view that the secret revealed becomes the burden for the next sheriff.  Does he accept it?  Does he reject it?  What good comes of his choice?  Does he do something that makes the weight larger or smaller?  

Best
Richard