Hey, peeps:

I am working on a script that will have a reoccurring dream (nightmare). Haven't tackled this before so would appreciate feedback on the format. This is what I have so far. Thoughts on the format?

INT. MANSION/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

A large, ornate room with symbols of wealth everywhere  - expensive art work, a money clip filled with bills on a dresser, a gold Rolex watch on the night stand.

DAVID MASON, (40), tosses back and forth in a king sized, mahogany poster bed. Something’s bothering his sleep.

BEGIN DREAM - INT. NURSING FACILITY/ROOM - NIGHT

ROBERT MASON, (80s), ravaged with disease, lies on a bed in a dimly lit room. YOUNG DAVID MASON (14) sits at his bedside.

ROBERT MASON
(feebly)
Davey boy.

YOUNG DAVID
Yeah, Grandpa.

Robert reaches out and clasps Young David’s forearm and pulls him closer to the bed.

ROBERT MASON
(in a last gasp)
Fix this!

BACK TO REALITY INT. MANSION/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

David bolts up in bed, sweating and breathing heavily.

DAVID
Fuck!

David looks at the clock on the night stand next. It reads “2:00 a.m.” He looks back to the bed. Sleep is not happening.

I've always used - DREAM SEQUENCE at the end of my slugs. Then BACK TO SCENE or END SEQUENCE.

It works enough. The goal is to full the audience, not the script reader. So with your example I would've done...

INT. NURSING FACILITY - NIGHT - DREAM SEQUENCE

YOUNG DAVID
blah, blah, blah.

END SEQUENCE

David bolts up in bed, Breathes heavily.

Just make sure the reader can understand it. Of all the pro scripts I've read, there's no right or wrong way as long as it's understandable.

James

I'll second James' suggestion. I'll use BACK TO SCENE if such a scene is previously established. Otherwise END SEQUENCE works fine. Not sure about other ways to go about it, but I've never had a complaint (that I can remember).

That seems pretty clear to me Dave.

I consulted Trottier's Screenwriter's Bible (a brilliant formatting resource!) and he had a similar suggestion and another 4 alternatives... the only one I think I preferred was

BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE

INT. MANSION, MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

....

INT. MANSION, MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

END DREAM SEQUENCE

I liked this one as to me it really delineates the Dream from the rest of the scene, of course the main consideration is to make it clear, and I think yours is.

Anthony

Thanks to all - much appreciated

Some say the best advice for doing a dream sequence is to NOT do a dream sequence. I kinda agree. Find another way to tell what your character is feeling. I think the modern audience has a disdain for dream sequences. I can't think of too many that have really stood out, anyone?

CJs suggestion is one of Trottier's alternatives, works fine too.

There's no rule book for this sort of stuff, key point is that it's clear to the reader.

Quoted from TonyDionisio I can't think of too many that have really stood out, anyone?

I agree, they (dream sequences) seem to be far and few. The only one I can recall at this time (simply because the movie is on TBS almost every damn Sunday) is from 'The Fugitive'...

https://sfy.ru/?script=fugitive1993

About halfway(ish) down , it starts: KIMBLE'S DREAM - INT. KIMBLE'S HOUSE - DAY

However, it ends the sequence with: HARD CUT TO:

Appears to work well in this case, has a natural flow that is.

Thanks for all the advice, peeps.

The dream sequences (and there will be several) are integral to the story so they are going to stay. The gist of the plot involves a sleep deprived billionaire haunted by nightmares of his grandfather's death.  

Reads good ElDavo.

Inception was one big dream sequence wasn't it? Haha. I got about 20 minutes into that movie before I turned it back to Dragon Ball Z

@ CJ

I wasn’t throwing doubt on the frequency of dream sequences in movies, they happen all the time. Just concurring with Tony -- “…too many that have really stood out”. Mind you, Eternal Sunshine and Big Labowski definitely ‘are’ two of the more memorable ones.

Other (sequences) might be debatable as to exactly what constitutes a ‘Dream’. Decker (if I recall) wasn’t sleeping when he saw the ‘White Unicorn’ in the Directors Cut of Blade Runner (if that’s what you’re alluding to), and Trainspotting, I believe, is subjective to what the viewer might consider as side effects of heroin usage/withdrawal… was it a nightmare, or hallucination? I’m not trying to start a debate here, it’s just an opinion…

Dream sequences are usually a very poor idea and in movies, complete and utter horse shit...95% of the time.

False scares, padding the runtime..oh man...really?

Most writers should star far, far away from incorporating dreams into their scripts.

I'm inclined to agree with those against dream sequences. Even when I've used them myself, I've felt somewhat uncomfortable about it. But in the interest of not pushing you to outright abandon an entire story idea, I'd simply encourage you make sure the sequences stay relevant throughout the story and try to introduce factors when the character is awake that would affect the dreams that follow, both in the sense of causing the dream to occur in the first place and influencing what would occur within the dream itself. Otherwise the sequences would likely end up interchangeable and either too convenient or completely pointless. Overall, I think dream sequences *can* work, but they require a lot of care and a lot of skill to pull off, and based on what I've read, a lot of writers simply aren't able to do so (perhaps myself included).

Again - thanks to all for the formatting suggestions - I am going with a hybrid of what was offered here.

I completely disagree with the admonition of staying away from dreams entirely. First,as CJ pointed out there are tons of movies that effectively employ them (off the top of my head I would add Rushmore, Pappillon and one of my favorite movies - American Beauty - to his list).

In my script the dreams are integral to the story so they are going to stay (now properly formatted:). I hope I will write them well. I just would never advise a writer not to include a dream in a script anymore than I would tell them not to include a car chase. Botha re just elements of story telling and if they fit there should be no presumption that they should not be included. My view anyway.

In Dave's situation, I would agree, that if integral to the story, there's absolutely nothing wrong with dream sequences.

My point is much more general and involves a gluttony of horror movies using throwaway dream sequences that do nothing other than pad the run time, give cheap scares, and many times, show more "entertainment" than the whole of the "real" scenes in the flick.

The same can be said for Flashbacks, V.O., whatever - if it works within the story, great, but be weary of using such things in general, as most writers do a poor job at best when trying to employ these.

Also, keep in mind that dreams and flashbacks come across much differently in a script than they do in an actual film.  In a script, they are (or should be) pointed out and clear that the scene is either a dream or a flashback, whereas in a film, you often don't know until the scene is over.

Quoted from CJ Walley And this is the problem. The fact you, and I'm sure many others, feel uncomfortable about using them compromises writer's creativity and motivation with insecurity and second guessing. If we took every element of script writing that's used badly we'd be left with nothing.

Just to clarify, I don't feel uncomfortable for the sake that dream sequences are taboo; I believe they are genuinely difficult to execute effectively, and I take an extra measure of scrutiny when writing and conceptualizing them to retain the integrity of the script, especially since I've had instances where they haven't worked out in the past. That doesn't mean I rule them out entirely. I've also done many other things in my writing that I've caught a lot of flack for that I didn't feel uncomfortable about at all, so the writing culture isn't a factor for me so much as it is my own feelings and reservations.

Additionally, outside of writing, I've always sorta held this notion that film can't accurately depict dreams anyway, even approximately. The dream world is just too far removed in its logic from reality and emotions feel big in a way that they don't when awake just by virtue of being conscious and thinking. Even just staging a dream, it conforms to our world's rules. The vast majority of dream sequences I've seen in films have always felt like they were missing something. David Lynch has probably come closest to capturing that "something," but then you as a viewer are still detached from it because you know you're watching a film and not having a dream. This issue is unique to dreams; I don't think film falls anywhere near as short trying to capture anything else.

That said, I've come to embrace surrealism and fantasy a lot more than when I first started writing. It opens up so many doors in terms of storytelling and just being creative in general. But I sort of view those things more as elements of artifice than approaching dreams. Still, I think it's a more effective approach to capturing that feel than it is to actually depict dreams characters are having.

Quoted from CJ Walley Funny you should write that as I was going to make the exact same comparison. Although I have seen writers on forums telling other writers that car chases are bad, or that they dislike scripts that use them. I also know at least one well known screenwriting book author who protests against them.

I am now compelled to write a story involving a car chase in a dream- perhaps I'll make it a  flashback:)

Quoted from Dreamscale In Dave's situation, I would agree, that if integral to the story, there's absolutely nothing wrong with dream sequences. My point is much more general and involves a gluttony of horror movies using throwaway dream sequences that do nothing other than pad the run time, give cheap scares, and many times, show more "entertainment" than the whole of the "real" scenes in the flick. The same can be said for Flashbacks, V.O., whatever - if it works within the story, great, but be weary of using such things in general, as most writers do a poor job at best when trying to employ these.

So, we're agreed I think. Use dream sequences/flashbacks etc. when appropriate for the story you're telling and write them well.

Quoted from CJ Walley Only as long as you title it FASTBACK FLASHBACK.

A wheely good suggestion - Done

Quoted from eldave1 So, we're agreed I think. Use dream sequences/flashbacks etc. when appropriate for the story you're telling and write them well.

Wite them weally, weally well!!!!   ;D ;D ;D ;D

Dream Sequences are sometimes excuses to film something fun.

Use to love this as a kid:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPh64MGfcBM