Hand Jobs Are Easy by 0 - Short, Light Yet Mature Comedy - A gang of supers help Madame Mayor save her city from Nymphites. 4 pages - pdf, format 8)

Wow that was beautiful, bring a tear to a glass eye.

Sex and violence... Saving the town by fucking them to death... awesome, where is this town? ;D

Writer,

This was cute. I chuckled at a few lines. Hard to tell who the real protagonist is here. This seemed more of an ensemble piece! Decent job, and funny in some areas but overall nothing that makes it stand apart.

Steve

Don't know what to say about this one. Read the title and the logline and knew I wouldn't like it. Read the script and my guess proved to be true.

I thought it was very funny. I kind of appreciated the romance in this too - very subtly put by the way.
And it's funny all through.

Thanks for the entertainment!

Hmmm...I don't get it, really.  I did read the whole thing, though.

Obviously, there are many attempts at humor and there are various super heroes...but I didn't laugh at all and I didn't see any super feats being accomplished by these so called super heroes.

Didn't work for me, but some may find some funnies here.

I enjoyed the read. Had a few chuckles. But in the end it feels like it's trying not to be porn. Sort of straddling the fence.

Had real potential but fizzled out in the end. And I think the writer ran out of time and/or inspiration too.

3 laughs out of 10

Didn't really work for me. Some witty lines there but a bit too OTT and immature humour for my liking. But would appeal to a certain audience I suppose.

Didn't work for me. Period. I got bored with it fast. but what was I really expecting from that title? Something clean? Of course not. But by page 3 i was starting to yawn. F bombs, sex jokes. Is that all there is to a fire?

i need a nice warm shower to clean off the dirt.

>:(


Also, Thor is a Marvel comics character - was there something wrong with giving this character a suggestive name as well?

Not really sure what to make of this one. The conversations and interactions work, there's superheroes in it, but just didn't laugh that much. It's really a lot of banter and innuendo, good read but not enough comedy

I didn't really laugh either.  It was okay.  I am gonna guess that Dustin did this one.  I guess right last time.  Lets see if I go 2 for 2...

It could have been really funny.  But, it just didn't work for me.  But, it was an easy read and it went by fast.  Kinda like a lot of orgasms in the script, I'd guess...

And the story seemed like a joke, again, instead of a story.

5/10

Dan

Seems like it was written in a rush and I found it more weird than funny. Didn't really do much for me.

This is a perfect porno script. Hot adult superstars, terrible acting and this script would make for something so bad it would be awesome!

As for the challenge it fits the parameters (apart from using Thor, but there were other original superheroes so I think that’s OK) but it’s mainly talking heads and didn’t do much for me, apart from making me do a superhero search on Pornhub!

-Mark

0,

What just happened? No idea, but I feel quite violated and dirty after that read. Thanks, I guess.

(No idea what was going on)

Glenn.

Quoted from MarkRenshaw As for the challenge it fits the parameters (apart from using Thor, -Mark

The way I read it - there wasn't a prohibition against using existing Superheroes - the protag had to me a brand new one. e.g., from the guidelines - "This week, you're going to tell your own superhero story. This isn't some redux of a previously existing character (although I won't rule out cameos by rich billionaires in bat suits..."


So - I am okay with Thor.  

In terms of the story itself - Well written/formatted etc - but not really my type of humor - i.e., I didn't laugh. Part of that may be - from the title - you know what is coming and a healthy part of humor is the chuckle you get from being surprised by a line or a reaction.

I think this one will be a split from some folks since the structure is sound - some will find it funny and some will not.

Got potential but didn't land most of it, IMO

Felt rushed, but many will be that way.

I would spend a little longer in therapy to set them up and gives the likes of Thor a phobia or such tick that would cause him to fear sex, in other words something to clash with the task in hand. Wasn't keen on the mayor.

As it all takes place in a room, if tidied up etc this would be filmable

Superheroes in therapy for sex addiction, okay I'll go with it... but it then sort of meanders with a lot of talking... nd then the 'action' is actually all off-screen...

Sorry didn't work for me.

I knew the comments on this one were gonna be funny, not disappointed.

The angle of this script has potential and is to my taste, the villain (Nyms) is a clever invention. I just wish there were more funny stuff in it, sorry, just my opin.

Not in my wheel house.  didn't find it all that funny or clever.  But that's me.

Superheroes and porn… good concept, execution does not work for my taste.

Well this humor definitely appeals to my, err, senses. However it fell a bit flat for me.

Also, weren't most, if not all, of these superheroes pre-existing? There's Thor (obviously), Beast Boy (Teen Titans), and Cock Knocker (Bluntman and Chronic/Jay and Silent Bob). But whatever, I wouldn't disqualify it because of that.

Not a bad effort. Just felt a bit rushed. There was almost too much being thrown into the mix and it was easy to get lost in the innuendos.

Fun entry overall.

Quick, easy read if not predictable. Characters are quick sketches, but effective: the names give a good enough mental picture to know who we are dealing with.  Could have used a bit more conflict and showing or at least implying the action instead of reporting it after the fact...even in snappy vignettes for sake of length...Enjoyed it though...

Points on brevity, but not for me. The idea's not bad but is pretty much squandered. Altered Egos did a better job with the same idea, and even that one I felt didn't go far enough with it. That aside, the jokes were lazy, and the whole thing felt super aimless and slapped together in haste. Not much else to say.

OK, finally getting a chance to curl up to a OWC. What do I get? Sex therapy.

Not a bad idea, but this was a talkie.  I wanted a little hand sex or something. With all those supposed nympths running about, I wanted to see something happen.  And as a cherry on the cream, I wanted that damn Mayor to get her bum-uppence.

This one felt like quickie A little light on the action, but not awful. Next.

This one does not deliver. Seems as though the writer hasn't tried very hard with this one. I get what you're going for, I just feel that it misses the mark. Well written.

This one felt a little thrown together. I think the characters are the best thing it has going for it. I enjoyed the absurdity of Thor being the only known hero thrown into a group of sex freaks. But what little story there was, was rushed through and the comedy suffered as a result. A longer, more thought out piece might give these characters the space they need to really work.