Flying High Again by Obadiah Stane - Short, Comedy - When a frustrated sidekick decides he can't take his arrogant superhero boss anymore, he resorts to desperate measures to get out of their one-sided relationship. 6 pages - pdf, format 8)

Not bad.

I quite like the annoyed sidekick bit, but I suppose the muscle ripped hero and disgruntled sidekick is well trodden. Didn't jump out as anything new, but then again how many will? Mine won't.

I liked parts but could there have been a clever face off than the court. Rock Paper Scissors anyone?

Writer,

Another good one. Smart and original. Not laugh out loud funny but I don't feel that's necessary. It's humorous, and gave me a few chuckles. Goods story and writing. Another fav so far.

Steve

Possibly with more pages at your disposal you could have really extended and used the court scene. I like the concept of super heroes leaving their powers at the door, and going at it through legal parlance.

Had a couple of laughs, pretty good

Yeah liked this. Good ideas going and some pretty good lines.

7 laughs out of 10

Funny and interesting premise with the sidekick being the protag.

It flowed very easily and one of the better scripts in this OWC.

Good job no entering

I've only read a few but this is the best one so far.

Well written and has some funny lines in there.

Feels a bit rushed at the end and like the page count worked against you.

Not sure the title is really the best fit for the story.

Interesting, this is yet another script that uses bold scene headings.  The majority of owc scripts I've read use this technique.  Guess it's the new normal.

I liked the class warfare going on here.  Sidekicks always get the short end of the stick.  Took a humorous turn when it went into the courtroom, but when I saw it was already page 6, I knew the scene was going to be rushed.  This script definitely suffered for the page count.  Maybe if it got the courtroom sooner.

Also, I agree with Trojan on the title.  Doesn't fit the story.  Although I do love that old Ozzy song.  

I liked the disgruntled sidekick angle. It gives this one an original edge to it and tied in nicely to a lot of parallels with famous comic superhero duos. The opening scene had a lot of comedy in it but as the script moved on you sacrificed comedy for story. I actually think that sacrifice worked and is understandable given the page length restriction. Like others have said, if you extend this out a few pages the ending wouldn’t feel rushed and you could add some more comedy elements in.

This is a great effort though, well written and smart.

-Mark  

Obadiah Stane,

Pretty good. Don't think there's anything very funny here, but it sure is a humourous tale. I like the idea of a team of sidekicks vs superheroes. More of that would have been welcome. But with the six pages you had to work with, this is good stuff.

Best of luck.

Glenn.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Well done!  Funny, witty, and quite unique.  Writing is pretty good, too, and that's always a plus.

Looks like the 6 pages weren't enough, but I think you wrapped this up pretty well, all things considered.

Nice job!

The premise is killer - always great to read something from a different angle. Pretty sure this will be the only sidekick rebellion-themed script.

Not sure about the title.

The court room scene seemed under-described and truncated - guess a victim of the page limit.

Overall a pretty solid effort.  

Spectaculo - awesome!

Lots to like in this, well written and funny as well.

Great effort

It was okay.  Got the superhero down pat.  I didn't find it really funny.  kinda sad really.

It was a story that needed more then 6 pages, for sure.

7.5/10  one of the better ones, just wish it was funnier.

Dan

Worked on several levels.  Not as funny as some but funny enough.  The opening scene could have been shortened which would leave room for the court scene.  

647,922 left for Spectaculo, assuming all goes well with the sexy brunette. Liked it over all; good light comic banter between Larry, Hyena Boy and the Messianic Spectaculo.  Can definitely relate to the pain of a rusted out Toyota Tercel and glad he got his revenge in the most canine way possible. Enjoyed it.

Good... a rec.

Very solid stuff. Flowed well, probably the easiest read of them all. But I question whether the courthouse scene is necessary since the sidekicks ignore the ruling and it goes straight to a fight.

Perhaps a better idea is to have a "sidekicks anonymous" group where they're sitting around complaining about their respective bosses. You could even open on this, so we're seeing all these instances of Spectaculo screwing him over as Hyena Boy's describing them, to the point where he whips the whole group into a frenzy and they rush out to challenge the real superheroes... then it still ends with the great ending you already have.

This one was quite funny. Lots of ideas were successfully developed throughout the script. Structure and twists were good too. I found it very good.

@ The story could need a better title since sidekick vs. established hero is the clear deal and reason to watch it. When you're able to communicate that fact from the start, you reach a clear defined audience – and quite a large one imo.

Best so far, and my first (perhaps last) recommend. Near-perfect; I felt the court proceedings were a little too cursory, but surely that's a result of the page limit. I'd pose you could've jumped in at the end of the hearing instead of the beginning and taken it from there with the sidekicks-vs-superheroes standoff. Might've felt less truncated.

Great success! Well-done!

This one didn't work for me and I'll tell you why:

It's very slapstick at the beginning. And then it gets suddenly serious - when I have to understand the importance of Hyena boy's and Spectacula's relationship - Hyena boy acts like Spectacula's manager and all, that part didn't work. And maybe because of that I didn't appreciate the rest of it.
Maybe the switch disrupted the flow for me - I don't know.

Jasmine in sexual arrousement... Larry and the boys kiss each other - compliments of Spectacula's powers --it's all good. Extremely slapstick and cartoonish - which I totally like. And suddenly the plunge into the boss/employee relationship - a bit much for me.

This was a clever little tale. One of the better ones, I think. Only problem is its best idea is toward the end. The courtroom set-up held a lot of potential for unique material that wasn’t really delved into. So while this script was generally strong, I was a little disappointed to see that avenue not really explored.