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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  /  The Elder Scrolls
Posted by: Don, June 1st, 2016, 4:06pm
The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim - Dragonborn by Glenn Chrispeels - Sci Fi, Fantasy - A young man travels to the beautiful land of Skyrim, ravaged by civil war, to uncover the mysteries of his past. Little does he know that destiny has something completely different in store for him... and it comes in the form of magical beasts thought long extinct. 111 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: Nathan Hill, June 3rd, 2016, 2:26pm; Reply: 1
Gave this a read due to me having knowledge of the series.

Got to page 4 before I just decided to stop. I understand this is fantasy but the dialogue is so basic and the action lines read like a book. You also throw us right into the mix, fantasies on such a grand scale like Skyrim should be easing us into it, perhaps a prologue explaining the story of the dragonborn? Or just something a little less hectic?

However you've made the effort to create a long feature script, just needs better formatting and the pacing needs a little fixing by the looks of it.
Posted by: GlennC, June 6th, 2016, 12:48pm; Reply: 2
In my defense, it was my first shot at a script ever. So I understand your criticism, but page 4 doesn't really represent the whole story.

Either way, thank you for your thoughts :)
Posted by: Nathan Hill, June 7th, 2016, 12:54am; Reply: 3
Yeah, I'll definitely give it a read further, didn't realise you made an account.
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