The President's Dick by Corey Dowd - Comedy - After assassinating a foreign leader, the American president and a Secret Service agent go on the run from a vengeful nine-year-old. 80 pages - pdf, format 8)

You lost me at:

An Agent immediately pulls out a PISTOL and SHOOTS HER IN
HER STUPID OLD FACE.

Well, I got to page 12.  I don't know what audience you're trying to reach here, but I am not it.  One thing I can tell you is that Canada doesn't have a President, we have a Prime Minister.  

There was another script in the thriller section that had really unique writing and descriptions.  I read that whole script and was intrigued for the entire ride.  This, I'm sorry to say, just really turned me off.