Flakes on a Plane by B.D. MacLeod - Short, Comedy, Drama - Two men get into an increasingly heated argument in a slowly sinking plane, after a miracle landing on a river bed, when one of the men yells, “Women and children first!”. 11 pages - pdf, format 8)

B.D.

Some notes.

First, I find this scenario a bit unrealistic.  An Airbus has a significant crew, and they train precisely for these events.  The first thing they do is take charge.  The Captain, if he's not incapacitated, is on the mic talking to the passengers and crew.  The crew organizes the escape.  The passengers panic and raise mayhem, but the crew works to perform an orderly evacuation.  

That said, I'll try to add some notes on what you wrote.

First, I would recommend that you name your characters.  First man might be BUZZCUT, second might be WIMP, etc.  It's best to give the reader clean and clear names.  The discussion of 'women and children first' needs to be funnier and more on point.  And then, it needs to move on.  

In fact, planes do open the doors over the wings in case of a water or river landing.  Not that many years ago, a pilot landed in the Hudson and people stood on the wings as the plane sank and boats came to the rescue.  they would probably open the other doors if they could get the lifeboats to deploy.  Deploying one before opening the door might be funny, as would people grabbing their seats and trying to use them for flotation devices.  You might consider having Buzzcut and Wimp battle with seat cushions.

I don't think a plane in a river is safely landed.  Now, if the river is so shallow that the plane won't sink, then they can evacuate.  If not, then the plane will sink.  You still need to evacuate all you can.

So, in total, I didn't find the humor because it seems too far removed from reality.  

Best
Richard