The Escape by Ben Morales - Short, Drama - After realizing that they do not want to end up living stable and unfulfilling lives, two recent high schools grads decide to rob a gas station in order to fund a worldwide getaway. - pdf, format 8)

I think there is something there, it just takes a long time to get to it.  

**Spoilers**

There's lots of overwriting here.  For example "There’s silence as Devin stares off into the distance and
takes a few sips from his beer while Winston carefully prepares a joint".  Something like that could read "Devin silently stares into space, sipping his beer.  Winston prepares a joint".  That's just my own example.  Typically, less is more.  Full disclaimer though, I have a tendency to overwrite myself and I've been given the same advice that I'm giving you!  

Winston seems far too easily influenced by Devon to just up and throw his life away.  I feel like this wouldn't be a split second decision that someone would make.  Why is Winston so easily influenced by Devon?  Especially for a major decision like that.

As for my comment on "it just takes a long time to get there", what I meant was that Devon and Winston talk for three quarters of the story, and nothing really happens.  

There could be something there, I just think it needs a little more to make it convincing.  

That's just my two cents though.

Good luck.

I've think I've read a few of your shorts now, and I've always commented on the over writing. This one is no different. Not sure why you aren't making the necessary changes to the way you write. It might be a style choice but it really affects the read in a big way.

Dialogue is OTN, these guy literally talk out the whole story leaving absolutely no room for subtext. The pages and pages of dialogue dotted with them just drinking and smoking would not be visually simulating.

Some grammar issues. Read up on lay vs lie. You also have a lot of its that should be it's.

Might be something here, probably a five pager if you cut it down to what was needed and important.

Ben,

Some notes.

First, I need a good reason to follow two slackers on a crime spree.  That they decide to rob first doesn't work for me.  Neither does the idea that they can fly out of country without passports.  For high school grads they're not very bright.

That said, I'll echo that the pages of dialogue are simply static and redundant.  Get these guys moving.  Give them some real motivation for crime.  After all, if the dude's willing to steal dad's gun, why not start with stealing his money?  This reads like the author stepping in to dictate the action rather than letting the characters wend their way.

Best
Richard