To Become by Raza Rizvi - Short, Drama - Growing up, a young girl’s jealousy of her twin sister spirals out of control when she tries to become just like her. 13 pages - pdf, format 8)

Some notes.

This one is a bit on the long side for me, and it lacks any reversal or surprise.  The ending is predicted at the beginning, and it's according to Hoyle.  You might consider giving this some kind of twist.  Perhaps Sally torments Patty when no one is looking.  Perhaps Sally knows Patty is following and has a surprise for her.  I think you might try to find a way to obscure what is really going on.  Take a zigzag course instead of straight ahead.  Open up door number three--dad is really the sicko.  In any case, make it a bit shorter and a bit more disturbing and surprising.

Best
Richard

This story isn't a thriller or suspense. There aren't supposed to be any twists and turns. It's supposed to be a social commentary about jealousy with the overarching theme that humans are never content.