The Power Of A Smile by Felipe Herrera - Short, Drama - A lonely old man tries to make the world smile.  5 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

some notes.

There a number of mistakes.  You should increase your knowledge of English.  

far distance
we see a feint figure stand in front of a tombstone

Distance works just fine.  'feint' is not 'faint'.  I think you should read more.

In standard English, & does not equal 'and'.

The story becomes predictable as Paul goes through is day.  He's doing good deeds and getting rid of his assets so he can join his beloved.  Been done a lot, so you need something new here.

Generally, you don't call camera shots in the script.  Let the director do his job.  

he embodies a brown baseball cap

I don't know how anyone embodies a brown baseball cap...

Read good scripts, copy good work, and always think of a way to make your story unique.

Best
Richard

Hi Felipe,

A sad story with a message. Predictable but a noble effort.  

It does read very much like prose, more like a short story than a script.

You go into unnecessary detail. For example your opening slug is EXT. OLD FASHIONED GRAVEYARD- BRIGHT DAY - That's actually a decent use of a slug, it tells us a lot in one sentence. However you then describe the bright day and the graveyard in the action. In essence, you do it twice.

Unfilmables - The script has quite a few, e.g. ' TODAY, Paul is ready to take the world on.' - show don't tell. Show us Paul is ready to take the world on with his actions and words, you already do that to some extent, so there's no need to emphasize the action with stuff the camera will never film.

Camera shots - Unless essential to the story and impossible to get across in the action, leave camera shots out of spec scripts. These are reserved for shooting scripts.

I'm hope my notes are useful.

-Mark