Getting the Joke by Adrian Tullberg - Short, Drama - Never Laugh In Gotham. 14 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

As a huge Batman fan, I have to say I liked the story and could very easily envision it being a short film or even an issue of a comic (that's actually how I was picturing it).

just a few quick notes:

1) " The sickening crack is evident of the kid’s fatality"  I actually had to go back and read that to figure out the kid was dead, especially after reading the next line.  In a script, traditionally you shouldn't get too into prose when describing actions and details.  Keep it simple.

2) I feel you have a few too many wrylies in your dialogue.  I would eliminate those.  

3) I'm actually kind of confused about the entirety of what happened in the theater.  And how does he get away from the theater?  Last we see him there, he's crowd surfing with chainsaws. Then in the next scene, he's back home... I may have misread what was going on there, but it was a bit confusing.

I think with a few more re-writes, this could be really solid.  Good luck!