Print Topic

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Drama Scripts  /  Up And Away
Posted by: Don, December 23rd, 2016, 11:44am
Up And Away by Jami - Short, Drama - Young Clark Kent runs away from home and goes on a journey to find himself and learn more about his adopted country and what it means to be an immigrant in modern day America; meanwhile, his parents, Martha Clark and Jonathan Kent, do all they can to bring him home. 26 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: HyperMatt, November 11th, 2017, 6:26pm; Reply: 1
Is this supposed to be a short or a TV pilot? It is an odd length at 26 pages. Sounds too similar too Smallville, a series which I really enjoyed, not being into DC comics, the first few seasons where blessed with excellent writing.

I just meant to look at the first few pages but ended up reading the whole thing. This was a hell of a lot better than I expected it to be. Got quite a few good scenarios (like the Sikh in the restaurant), I liked the way that scene played out and how the story examines xenophobia versus the American Way; made it feel very contemporary. And the characters were strong. All the supporting characters seemed to have something relevant to add to the story, such as Linda and Douglas, Clark's friend suffering post traumatic stress after serving in Iraq. The best thing about the story is how it plays down the super-heroics. It seemed more relevant than any recent iteration of Superman.

Jonathan Kent was especially strong. I could really feel the anxiety and worry he has looking for Clark. The story really moved fluidly, as did the dialogue. This can't be the first thing this guy has written.
Quite a few typos though.
Print page generated: April 28th, 2024, 3:29pm