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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Horror  /  Twisted Thief
Posted by: Don, January 3rd, 2017, 5:11pm
Twisted Thief by David Black - Short, Horror - Karma strikes a violent thief when he steals from a horror memorabilia collector.  4 pages - pdf, format

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Posted by: B, February 23rd, 2017, 7:30pm; Reply: 1
100+ Views and no responses, nice.

Page 1 - I got lost in all the location changing, maybe i was reading to fast but it was a little overwhelming.

Did i miss where you described what the mask looked like?

The dialogue between the two felt weird. It didn't seem to flow.

"Ceremoniously positioned lit candles surround a pentagram on
the floor." - Neither of them are going to mention this?

"He's used to being treated like this" - Don't tell me this, show me this.

"Rob’s outlandish mask sits on the table" - So he hasn't put it on yet? Why? You think he would have put it on the minute they got to the party.

A horror version of Mask. I like the concept. Work out all the kinks and you could probably make a pretty easy/good short to shoot.

-B
Posted by: Don, February 23rd, 2017, 11:46pm; Reply: 2

Quoted from B
100+ Views and no responses, nice.



-B



Quoted Text
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