Twisted Thief by David Black - Short, Horror - Karma strikes a violent thief when he steals from a horror memorabilia collector.  4 pages - pdf, format

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100+ Views and no responses, nice.

Page 1 - I got lost in all the location changing, maybe i was reading to fast but it was a little overwhelming.

Did i miss where you described what the mask looked like?

The dialogue between the two felt weird. It didn't seem to flow.

"Ceremoniously positioned lit candles surround a pentagram on
the floor." - Neither of them are going to mention this?

"He's used to being treated like this" - Don't tell me this, show me this.

"Rob’s outlandish mask sits on the table" - So he hasn't put it on yet? Why? You think he would have put it on the minute they got to the party.

A horror version of Mask. I like the concept. Work out all the kinks and you could probably make a pretty easy/good short to shoot.

-B

Quoted from B 100+ Views and no responses, nice. -B

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