Stand Defiant by Patrick Gillespie  - Drama - A Christian husband and wife, working as Doctors find themselves caught up in the turmoil of War in Syria.  78 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This is the first draft, plan to extend the Script to 90-95 pages. Would like some ideas where to take the story to get to the 90-95 page count.  

Second draft coming soon.

Second draft.

90 pages would be enough for a spec script IMHO.

The logline sounds very interesting. I'll try and read this when I get a chance.

Thanks HyperMatt, what scripts do you have that I could read? Also just sent through a updated version with the mistake on page 1 removed.

If written in a certain way, a 78-page script could run for two hours.

Don't worry about that Patrick. Haven't got any scripts on at the moment, but will have. Reading other people's screenplays is a learning experience for me also.

Pg. 17: Ruth KICKS can. I've read a lot about this, but I am still unsure when words need to be capitalized. Certainly when a character is introduced, but do we really need to do it for other things like significant events in the script. My rule at the moment, is use sparingly, like twice or less.

I use it for anything that makes a sound, such a ringing phone, door bell etc. Hope you're enjoying the read?

I want give you my thoughts till I have read the whole thing. I'm at the dramatic moment where Elijah has been.. well, y'know.

You should go over the dialogue. There are quite a few grammar issues and some unnatural or 'on the nose' sections like the example below. Fix that and make their meeting at the start a little more interesting/original and i'd read on. As it stands i'm out but good luck with it.

ELIJAH
I can’t believe it has being almost
two years since we all first met in
this very room. We have laughed and
cried together in this room. Even
had the odd cross words.

RUTH
But we have always managed to
forgive and forget. We are such a
tight group, we can not say a word
and know exactly what the other is thinking.

I was going to mention this in my review. It seems to be a common theme in fledgling screenwriters. If I'm rushing to finish something I might do this, and the next draft I will try to find another way to express these things. Typos are clearly an issue I would agree.  
I'm finding it an interesting read though. It is a subject matter that is rarely touched.

The logline is misleading; the story really focuses on the Christian wife who is kidnapped by ISIS militants and planned rescue by FBI.
The second half of the story is a hell of a lot stronger than the first part; almost as if the writer has concentrated on the second half of the script much more. I became really engaged with Ruth’s plight and building the plan to rescue her, it was really ‘Delta Force’ guys on a mission stuff. The story deals with some really dark themes about the misogynistic Jihadi views and asks a lot of questions, especially through Ruth. But as was mentioned before, the dialogue is on the nose, you need to find other ways for the characters to express themselves. Some of the most powerful scenes in cinema, there has been no dialogue (e.g. Bob Hoskins last scene in The Long Good Friday).
I don’t know if you meant this to be a faith film, it does feel like a faith film, with a bit of Chuck Norris thrown in. The story did feel like a battle of religions, Islam and Christianity, where Christianity is the winner. Having Christian beliefs myself, I can’t complain about that. In fact I commend you for being blunt about this, because the liberalist view dominates in movies.
There are typos throughout, and these are really distracting to the story. You should go through the whole script painstakingly before presenting it to anybody.
I like the idea of a Southern American protagonist. I wouldn’t use accented dialogue unless it is vital to the story; there are too many ‘y’all’s.
I think that you included the courtship of Elijah and Ruth to make us emotionally invested in that relationship, but it feels like we are being misled that the story is going to be about the ups and down of their relationship. I would suggest starting the story in Syria, in their new hospital, you could convey all that, and the love of their staff, all in Syria.
It seems you want Ruth to be a strong female character, in the tradition of Sarah Connor and Clarice Starling, a woman who overcomes her struggles, who stands defiant. We do see her getting stronger as the story progresses up to her preparing for death, but she suffers most in regards to the conveying everything through dialog; there is no need for Ruth to tell Gomes how grateful she is, that’s obvious, having her break down and sobbing conveys all that.
My favourite parts of the script where the ones dealing with FBI and White House staff (felt well researched), and I really liked the scene where the two special ops fight the ISIS fighters, felt like it was straight from a Vince Flynn novel.
Because you are dealing with specific historic events (and Obama), I would suggest putting dates in.
I would try not to go passed the 90 page script. I heard movie people say a spec script has a better chance of being read it is around that mark, as opposed to 115-120.

I hope these notes are helpful, the story does have potential.

Patrick - took a look at the opening pages.

Quoted Text INT. MCGOVERN MEDICAL SCHOOL - CLASSROOM - DAY In a lecture room, students are seated. a PROFESSOR leads a class in a discussion.

STUDENTS should be capped. Would also be nice to have some kind of description so we get a sense of the demographics and a description of the Professor as well.

You don't need "in a lecture room". It's already implied in the scene heading.

Quoted Text PROFESSOR Now students, who can tell me some of the advantages of Radiotherapy as opposed to Surgery? Oh and do try to answer without Doctor Google.

Typo - radiotherapy and surgery should not start with a capital letter.

Quoted Text RUTH The use of Multi-beam radiation caused by the use of high - energy cross - killing cancer cells.

Typo - multi-beam should not start with a capital letter.

Quoted Text ELIJAH Strong anti-mitotic cells, is an important means of Cancer treatment.

cancer - not Cancer

Quoted Text PROFESSOR Correct, okay class enough for today. One month until your assignments are due. Tomorrows class commences at ten.

should be Tomorrow's

Quoted Text The class break up and exit the room.

Not correct.

Should be the class breaks up and exits the room

- or

The students break up and exit the room.

Quoted Text RUTH That is okay I feel like such an Idiot, not if medicine is what I really want to do any-how.

Probably need a period after idiot.

Should be: ...not if as medicine...

Quoted Text RUTH Thanks, but I just can’t get my head around some of this. The names Ruth by the way.

should be "the name's Ruth by the way.

Quoted Text ELIJAH Nice to meet you, say not be too forward or none, how about we meet at the Chick-fil-A?

Should be a period after you. Say should start the next sentence.

RUTH
Don’t be I’ll go, say six okay for
Y’all.

Missing a period after be.

Quoted Text INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT Elijah and Ruth sit a booth, ruth has her text books and note pad in a bag on the floor. Elijah finishes the last of his fries.

Ruth not ruth.

So - that's just two pages and just what happened to hit my eye. You have an issue with grammar and that is going to distract many readers. I would check out some sites that help in this regard - Grammerly is a good one and there is a version that is free.

Best of luck.

Thanks everyone, a lot for me to do. Keep the comments flowing.

One thing I forgot to mention, your Jihadist villians did really come across as sadistic, misogynistic  assholes.

Thanks, hypermatt that is what I was going for. Not just bad, but really bad.

You should watch Channel 4/ National Geographic's TV mini THE STATE. It has incredible insights into ISIS.

I will google it, and have a look.