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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Drama Scripts  /  The Quarry
Posted by: Don, April 9th, 2017, 9:51am
The Quarry by Jonathan Sieff - Short, Drama - MATT (50) survives falling down a quarry but must then escape from the mobsters who want him dead. 8 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: eldave1, April 9th, 2017, 11:18am; Reply: 1
Jonathan:

An interesting tale.


Quoted Text
?ALEXA (25) a young brunette girl in a long dress and a
winter coat, followed by ?MICHELLE (26) a blonde in similar
attire.


Did you mean to include the ?? by Alexa and Michelle.

The action I liked. The dialogue I felt in many cases was unnatural and way too on the nose - especially in the Matt - Chloe scene.

Best of luck
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