The Life Story of Tom Park by Raymond Mack - Drama - When Thomas Anderson Park, an average high school teenager from Los Angeles, California, meets a troublemaker that leads his life into the peer pressures of sexual desire and drug addiction. When Thomas has enough of it, he falls in love with a girl named Jessica, who may led him back to the right direction before their graduation. - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Thankfully this is only 175 pages long.

Raymond,

You need to brush up on basic grammar and spelling before you expect other people to read this.

By the first page I was regretting opening your script.  I see the image you're trying to paint, but it's like looking through muddy, feces laden, stagnant water.

There's a story here, but I'm not touching it with a ten foot pole.  At least not until I make sure my shots are up to date.

If you'd like to know the details, please reply and I'll let you know what I saw.

Jordan