Retail World by David Boyer - Horror - Becky sees monsters in retail stores and is convinced she is crazy until she meets a masked man who tells her she is the champion of Retail World, a nightmare world of monsters run by a telepathic despot but the problem is Becky doesn't remember anything. 128 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Sorry but I cant even bother with this one, as it not even being written in the correct font. :/

And several other issues:

David - get this in the right format, clean up your scene headings (many are incorrect), etc. - and you'll get more reads.