The Drive by Joseph Ulloa - Short, Thriller - A troubled couple take a road trip in order to help their marriage.  7 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

This was... Interesting. To say the least. With some formatting/grammar issues aside, this was a pretty quick read. I liked the descriptions. But there's more questions than answers. Who was the guy who ran over Norman? Why did he run over Norman? Why was Hilda not upset? Who was this mysterious man to Hilda? Why did the man run over Norman in broad daylight on a highway? Wouldn't he be caught? This could be better if expanded on. I understand it's a short script, but it leaves too many questions and not enough answers.

Well, I wasn't expecting that. I was wondering how this would turn into a thriller. A whole minute passes in silence? I think that would bore the viewer, unless you show it on a clock or something. Maybe there's a more discreet way to have someone killed than to get someone run over and leave with the killer in his car. You could explain that. You write 'Norman' times in a row on page 4, I think that's technically wrong. I liked your script, though.