Ratman by Christopher Donald - Short, Comedy, Superheros - An apathetic police officer turns to a brief life of crime after being mistreated by the city's superhero and treated nicely by its gimmick villain. 8 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

I thought 'okay' on page one was funny. 'It's free cocaine, and cocaine rules'. That is one strange policeman, you have there, not just because of what he did, but how he talked about it... How could he ever get employed? If you're going for a wacky vibe, that's fine though, I guess. 'That guy's an asshole' was funny. Oh, it seems you are going for a wacky vibe. I like it, but it borders on silliness sometimes. I would try not to be too excessive with your humour, unless you want to write for children, which you're not. (I hope). 'A selfish prick' was also funny.