Lose all the numbers on the right and left sides of the page.
None of your scene headings are complete - you're missing DAY or NIGHT
Some issues obvious right out of the shoot.
Quoted Text INT. JOEY’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM 1
It’s a sunny, crisp fall day in Brooklyn. The sun is shining
through a slightly open apartment window. JOEY (late 20’s)
is happily laying in bed with a formation of pillows around
him, staring at the ceiling. The T.V. can be heard softly in
the background. |
You start with an INT scene heading and your first line references something outside.
Get rid of the "is" and "ing".
The scene heading is wrong.
Don't repeat info in the action that is in the slug - e.g., no need for "apartment" window since we already know we're in the apartment.
Maybe something like:
INT. JOEY’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY
The sun shines through a slightly open window. JOEY (late 20’s)
happily lies in bed, a formation of pillows around
him, staring at the ceiling.