Closure by Amarjit Bhatti - Action, Adventure - A former East European sex slave crisscrosses the Continent exacting revenge on the men and women who trafficked her. 109 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

I like the concept - straight revenge thriller with an edge.

I think one rule would really help your writing. Each block of writing = one shot.

Anon, I'm glad you like the concept.  And thank you for your feedback.  I will take it on board.

Your first page is riddled with problems.

Quoted Text FADE IN: EXT. BALCONY, WEST END APARTMENT - THE PAST - DAY SUPERIMPOSE: 'London, England'

You shouldn't put "the past" in your scene heading.

Don't insert a SUPER until you describe something for it to be SUPERIMPOSED over.  i.e., describe what we are seeing and then insert the super.

Quoted Text We are close up on the face of KATYA BRYNZA, our heroin. She is 19, blond, blue-eyed and, despite the fact that her looks have been muted by drug abuse and neglect, still stunning.

No need  for our heroin. No need for she is. just KATYA BRYNZA (19)...

Quoted Text She is taking deep breaths, steeling herself for something, trying to summon up courage.

I would lost the she is' and ing words - make it active. e.g.,

She takes deep breaths, steels herself for....

Quoted Text We pull back to reveal that she is teetering on the outside ledge of a balcony, her hands gripping the guard rail behind her. She is wearing nothing more than an expensive silk gown.

Lose the "we's.

Again -active - not she is teetering. She teeters

Quoted Text We are at the rear of a modern, luxury apartment block in a salubrious part of London. Other residences crowd around the building, but it is late morning and hardly anyone is at home to witness the spectacle.

Same issues. Also - confusing and long winded - residents crowd around - hardly anyone there. which is it? Best to keep it simple. e.g., a half dozen RESIDENTS crowd around...

Quoted Text Four stories below, in the car park, is a large dumpster filled to the brim and topped-off with a discarded mattress. Katya decides she has no choice, it's now or never, she has to jump.

The last sentence is unfilmable

Quoted Text She closes her eyes and leaps off the balcony, crash landing on the mattress below. The fall winds her, but she knows she can't afford to lose a second, can't pause to catch her breath, so she immediately hauls herself out of the dumpster and starts to run, barefoot, as if her life depends on it.

she knows = unfilmable. Also this should now be a new scene.

Quoted Text She races out of the car park and onto a back street, before turning the corner onto another much longer road. She looks over her shoulder at regular intervals as she runs, to make sure she's not being followed.

And this needs to be another scene - every time you change locations you need a scene heading.

Quoted Text JORGI and FATOS, two Kosovan heavies, all gang tattoos and muscle under their smart black suits, burst out of the main entrance of the apartment block and spill onto the pavement.

This is now another scene. It requires a heading.

Quoted Text Katya turns left onto another nondescript road devoid of any memorable landmarks or pedestrians. She spots a car approaching and runs out into the road to flag it down.

And another scene heading.

You are missing basic script format protocols - google a little on scene headings - take a look at a couple of scripts and I think you'll get it.