The Unbreakables by Kashad Moore - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - An alien relic buried in an Egyptian tomb is unlocked by a tomb raider and the power were contained within transforms a group of strangers that must use those said powers to stop a long-forgotten Chinese emperor also imbued with mystic powers from the relic. 54 pages - pdf, format

For production consideration - No comments required

Not a short, more like a TV pilot?

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Hi there

The log line needs work - It is a bit disjointed.

I've checked out the first couple of pages. A few things.

- What is all that stuff written on the title page?
- You use ellipses too often and incorrectly
- what are all the REVEALS: for? They take me out of the story, and I don't know why they are there
- search for the phrase "we see" and delete all from your screenplay
- If they can't move on the guy because they are sitting on a tonne of gas, then why did they set up their operation in a gas station to begin with?
- Your SUPER about being in Asia needs to come after the slug line taking us there - otherwise your SUPER is over Vic walking into the Texas desert
- Vinoc I am assuming is an important character, yet he does not get a description other than age
- Nice short action/descriptions, with a bit of tidying (mentioned above) would read very smooth
- Story wise, I would actually read on if it was to be cleaned up.

Good luck to you

Matt