Sike by Marcus "BOZ" Walton - Short, Drama - The phrase Sike is used as a caught off guard expression. It's used the same way in the midst of counting money. 3 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

I really did not get the story at first (because of unclear logline), and a lot of the ‘gangsta slang’ threw me (shows how old I am), but I liked it was nice and simple (be quite a cheap shot)  and has a suitably shocking ending which will not be for everyone.
When the script ended I got how the title related to the story. Your log-line is not really a logline but a definition of that slang. Sike is basically ‘psyche’ – like psyche you out. I got no idea what the logline for this would be but it is set in the ‘black gangsta’ world, which I did not have a clue until the word ‘nigga’ was used. You don’t give your characters any physical descriptions, age etc. I take it they are all black characters. That one always got me, when do you indicate races of character? Seen discussions about this on this site. I agree with what most are saying that do so when it is important. I’m writing a short now where most of the characters are black. Race is important to that story so I am indicating the race of all the characters.
An idea you could use is to have the definition of Sike on a black background at the start, like Pulp Fiction.  
‘THE SOUNDS OF A PHONE CONSTANTLY RINGING IN FACETIME MODE IS
PRESENT’
-     I would suggest putting that in brackets under the first logline.

Is ‘Bra’ the new way of saying ‘Bro’? Shows how out of touch I am.  A lot of the slang threw me, but I’m sure younger people would have a better understanding.