Old Head by Isiah - Short, Action, Adventure - Two brothers must save their father from neighborhood thugs. 5 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey there, Isiah

Took a look at your script and I have to be honest, I couldn't get past the first page.

You have a nice idea but I wouldn't know how good the story is because I was constantly distracted by spelling errors, punctuation errors and some grammatical errors.

It got too distracting for me so I stopped reading.

I would highly suggest you proofread your script, edit it, then give it to someone else like a friend to read and see if there are any errors, then proofread again, edit and then submit it to Simply Scripts.

It is so important to make sure that the basics of spelling, punctuation and grammar are correct in your script before giving it to studios to read. Some may perceive the errors not as mistakes but just blatant negligence implying that you don't care, which I'm sure you do, you just need to show it by making sure these little mistakes are NO WHERE in your script.


I hope you do an edit and re-submit. I would love to see it improved. Keep working on it and you'll be fine.

Until then,

Happy Writing!

Thanks for the feed back. I was actually writing this for a tournament, so it was rush, but next time I'll make sure to proofread and edit. Thank you again.

Was it DQ'ed? What happened?
The comp is anonymous by the way, but you must know by now.

There was a misunderstanding at first, but everything is sorted out now.