You guys asked for it. Here we go.

Does that mean if I ask for easier parameters I'll get them?

Sean, is the time lapse possible?

I have so many bad ideas, but no good ones.  I'm torn.  Really.

Dan

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Does that mean if I ask for easier parameters I'll get them?

I'm thinking I'll start writing soon and see what happens.  

I'm just going to congratulate my opponent right now.

Is there going to be a new link to submit our script in round 2? Or do we use the old link?

I can't find the old link...fml

Argh! Something came up and I'm gonna have like no time to write this weekend. This is gonna be almost pointless.

I think everyone is just trying to psych out there opponents!

Such a good round of scripts last time. I think they will only get better.

I'll tell you what's psyching me out - I got that "Martin Scorsese Teaches Filmmaking" banner on the homepage just staring at me.

It's like Marty's saying '"g'ahead, type something." Very disconcerting....

It's 4:53 p.m., Eastern Standard Time. Just got an idea, finally.

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect I'm just going to congratulate my opponent right now.

I'm thinking this too.

What I've done is rubbish.  It screams impossible.

And I think I'm going to switch from wine to brandy...

Quoted from ajr And I think I'm going to switch from wine to brandy...

Why didn't I think of that! Too bad it's 2 am here, too late.

I just played a game of solitaire and I asked the cards "should I submit what I wrote to the second round" and the cards looked at me as if they were real. And cried.

True story.

Quoted from khamanna I just played a game of solitaire and I asked the cards "should I submit what I wrote to the second round" and the cards looked at me as if they were real. And cried. True story.

I don't know what that means. Then again, I've switched from wine to brandy...
8)

I always listen to music while I write.

Pat Benatar was working for a while...

Had to change to Marillion - Misplaced Childhood.

Then I really got into a groove when I went to Zeppelin III...

Aren't you adventurous!

So if I listen to music it will make my entry better? Thanks for telling me.

Quoted from khamanna I just played a game of solitaire and I asked the cards "should I submit what I wrote to the second round" and the cards looked at me as if they were real. And cried. True story.

My cards are sobbing.

Music is emotion. Match the music to what you're trying to elicit from yourself.

Oh, and switch from wine to brandy.

All I'm really struggling with this round is a suitable logline. It's a good problem to have.

Warren, I don't think you need a logline, not mentioned in my parameters ;-)

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Warren, I don't think you need a logline, not mentioned in my parameters ;-)

Haha:) One just came to me. Submitting now, and I'm done!

No, I pulled away from my computer, listened to some music, came back to reread the entry and it's not the slightest bit better.

That's it for me for tonight. See you guys tomorrow.

Can never easily find the submission link. Anyone know where it's hiding?

Is there any chance of getting that put at the top of the page with the counter?

Well - this was a bit of a ball buster.

Anyway - just submitted. Time to switch from coffee to beer.

Best of luck to all

Here's the link:

http://simplyscripts.com/owc

Done and submitted.

What I love about these challenges is they force me to write in genres I'd never consider. Curious to see how this one turned out.

Best of luck, Steven. May the best script win.

Quoted from ajr I always listen to music while I write. Pat Benatar was working for a while... Had to change to Marillion - Misplaced Childhood. Then I really got into a groove when I went to Zeppelin III...

Saw Pat in concert last year with Styx - fabulous!!!

Quoted from ajr Music is emotion. Match the music to what you're trying to elicit from yourself. Oh, and switch from wine to brandy.

Been so digging early Genesis lately.

Quoted from ajr Music is emotion. Match the music to what you're trying to elicit from yourself. Oh, and switch from wine to brandy.

Seriously, you guys listen to music when you write? Can't do it. "Music is emotion"-- That's why it doesn't work for me. I need 100% focus. It sucks...makes writing so boring.

As far as brandy? I don't drink at all. Man, I'm not livin' life.

Quoted from ajr I always listen to music while I write.

I'm the complete opposite. I have to have silence and zero distraction, or I'll find a reason not to write.

Quoted from Warren I'm the complete opposite. I have to have silence and zero distraction, or I'll find a reason not to write.

Me too. I can't concentrate with noise. Reading something or watching the start of a movie, or listening to music beforehand can inspire, but then I have to shut everything out.

So, eight pages this time around. Why did it go up? Is everyone happier with that? Just curious.

Was just rereading my submitted script and there's a idiotic plot hole! It's an easy fix. I'm so glad I had another read.

Quoted from LC Me too. I can't concentrate with noise. Reading something or watching the start of a movie, or listening to music beforehand can inspire, but then I have to shut everything out. So, eight pages this time around. Why did it go up? Is everyone happier with that? Just curious.

Not sure why the page increase, Lib, you'd have to ask Blondie. Massive irony for me with it though - the first round one I had to cut 3 pages before submitting. This time around I will only prolly use 5 maybe 6 pages! Hill Airy Arse! ;D

Quoted from Warren Was just rereading my submitted script and there's a idiotic plot hole! It's an easy fix. I'm so glad I had another read.

That's where I buried my dead people

For those of you who find music distracting, try music with no lyrics... or simple vocalization as an instrument.

Would help if language is the distraction, won’t help if sound is the distraction.

Of course, staring a deadline in the face is not the time to experiment with your routine :)

Quoted from eldave1 That's where I buried my dead people

Hahahahaha :)

Quoted from stevie Not sure why the page increase, Lib, you'd have to ask Blondie. Massive irony for me with it though - the first round one I had to cut 3 pages before submitting. This time around I will only prolly use 5 maybe 6 pages! Hill Airy Arse! ;D

Hill Airy Arse indeed, Stevie. This is the type of whacky thing my auto-correct does all the time.    :D It keeps trying to make arse - arose. Arse, I say. Sorry I'm just amusing myself.

Carry on. Looking forward to Round 2 entries.

And now I'm actually done. Revision submitted. Not looking at it again.

Good luck everybody!

Quoted from CameronD What I love about these challenges is they force me to write in genre's I'd never consider. Curious to see how this one turned out.

Ok, now you scaring me. Was I assigned a genre? Sean? Someone. please.

Quoted from Warren And now I'm actually done. Revision submitted. Not looking at it again. Good luck everybody!

I have to reread mine like 5 times.

And then trash it maybe.

I just double checked my parameters and realised I'm currently two pages over... oops but at glad I realised now!

Well it says you can go a bit over.

If the parameters are not clear cut number of pages - I for one won't penalize for it. I was going to in the last round.

I've scrapped my first effort.

Thought of a new idea, not sure how it will be received due to the updated parameters.  Fits in well with the pm message parameters though.

Quoted from jayrex I've scrapped my first effort. Thought of a new idea, not sure how it will be received due to the updated parameters.  Fits in well with the pm message parameters though.

I asked Sean this question earlier in the old thread, maybe it helps?

"Hi Sean,

I understand the can't be dead before the script starts, but not so much the can't be dying as your script ends?

So they can die on the last page, but can't be dying? So you have to see them dead or know that they are dead?

Okay so we are going with most, if not all, BUT MOST of your script takes place at your ceremony. I guarantee people are going to get caught up on that. To me this means there can be a small portion of your script that does not take place at the event and that is acceptable?"

To my question about the dead he replied:

"Exactly"

and to the question about location he replied:

"If I had it my way, they would take place at the location 100%. However, people like to have set-up, cutaways, flashbacks, etc, which might not necessarily take place at the location.

One thing I made a note of last round is that I do condone people bringing their own sets of values into the reviews. For some people, any time away from the location or genre (or modifier, in the last round) was a deal-breaker. Others were willing to look past that and see just the story. Neither one is wrong.

It's all about that line and whether or not you cross it. It's why art is called "subjective" and why I don't DQ, because where I stand is not the same as where everybody else stands."\

So every one has to die within the pages of your script somewhere, and there can, although not ideal, be a small potion of your script away from the location, but it isn't preferable.

Quoted from LC Me too. I can't concentrate with noise. Reading something or watching the start of a movie, or listening to music beforehand can inspire, but then I have to shut everything out. So, eight pages this time around. Why did it go up? Is everyone happier with that? Just curious.

I'm never against 5 pagers but suddenly got happy with the new page limit. I needed more pages for the type of story I ended up with.

Quoted from Warren I asked Sean this question earlier in the old thread, maybe it helps? "Hi Sean, I understand the can't be dead before the script starts, but not so much the can't be dying as your script ends? So they can die on the last page, but can't be dying? So you have to see them dead or know that they are dead? Okay so we are going with most, if not all, BUT MOST of your script takes place at your ceremony. I guarantee people are going to get caught up on that. To me this means there can be a small portion of your script that does not take place at the event and that is acceptable?" To my question about the dead he replied: "Exactly" and to the question about location he replied: "If I had it my way, they would take place at the location 100%. However, people like to have set-up, cutaways, flashbacks, etc, which might not necessarily take place at the location. One thing I made a note of last round is that I do condone people bringing their own sets of values into the reviews. For some people, any time away from the location or genre (or modifier, in the last round) was a deal-breaker. Others were willing to look past that and see just the story. Neither one is wrong. It's all about that line and whether or not you cross it. It's why art is called "subjective" and why I don't DQ, because where I stand is not the same as where everybody else stands."\ So every one has to die within the pages of your script somewhere, and there can, although not ideal, be a small potion of your script away from the location, but it isn't preferable.

I can't say too much about my problem or I'll give myself away.

People die.

They're killed at the place.

There's a celebration.

It meets the basic objectives.

i'm freakin pissed! I can't think of shit.

Quoted from SAC i'm freakin pissed! I can't think of shit.

We tend to take care of those in the same place, but they aren’t the same thing. And for people not named Elvis, that “event” usually doesn’t involve anyone dying.

To say to this I wrote a script would be a huge exaggeration.

I am sooooo dying to see the details of this challenge and what you all have come up with. This is the first time I've been able to watch this from the sidelines and, I must say, I'm enjoying the shit out of this! Although I do wish I was taking part as well.

Good luck!

Right I'm in... managed to shave two pages off and get it down to eight.

First draft finished. Whew.

I was torn on 2 ideas.  So, I wrote both.  So, instead of 1 vomit draft, I have 2.  I don't know if I should have spent more time fixing up one, rather than writing 2, but, too late now.  

I'm not sure which one I'm gonna submit.  

Wish me luck.  I'm gonna need it.

Dan

Quoted from khamanna Ok, now you scaring me. Was I assigned a genre? Sean? Someone. please.

I apologize, Khamanna, I just came off a double at work. Nobody was assigned a genre this round. It can be any genre you would like.

Good luck Dan.

For what it's worth, my process has been - since we are only given about 30 hours to do this - go with your first idea and then write the shit out of it, right, wrong or indifferent.

Oh, and switch from wine to brandy.

AJR

Submitted.

Look forward to the entries.

Has everyone submitted their efforts by now?

I did just now. I'll try to sleep as it's 2:30 am here and the vampires that live in my closet (and bathroom by the way) are waking up.

If I manage to fall asleep I won't take it down!

Well. That's done.

I'm so ready to go. Can't wait to see what everyone has come up with.

Still waiting on a few scripts.  I may wait until the morning (edt, USnA) to post.  

Also, at some suggestions, we will be posting two scripts to a poll rather than individual scripts.  I will create discussion board threads after voting closes for each of the scripts.

Don

Sorry to be a pain Don. Where's the submit link for this?

Quoted from stevie Sorry to be a pain Don. Where's the submit link for this?

http://www.simplyscripts.com/owc

or just email me directly at webmaster@simplyscripts.com

Or the usual submit link.  I'll take it any way I can get it.

- Don

Quoted from Don http://www.simplyscripts.com/owc or just email me directly at webmaster@simplyscripts.com Or the usual submit link.  I'll take it any way I can get it. - Don

Cheers mate. Apparently Jeff does as well  ::)

Quoted from stevie Cheers mate. Apparently Jeff does as well  ::)

So, perhaps there is some truth to the rumors about you and Jeff...

- Don

Quoted from Don So, perhaps there is some truth to the rumors about you and Jeff... - Don

Touche!  Well and truly owned by the Donster on a Monday.  Time I retired lol ;D

I submitted mine.

This should be interesting.  I suspect that all these stories will be similar in one way or another.  I hope that isn't the case.

Reading 16 stories that all have one common theme (and we know what that is) can get boring pretty quickly.

I'm curious to see what everyone else, and specifically my opponent, came up with.

Dan

Quoted from jayrex Has everyone submitted their efforts by now?

Not, yet. Still waiting on two.

Don

It’s
Coming!!!

I'm so sorry people have to read this. I did'nt wanna forfeit though.

Jesus H. Christ! Submitted with 7 seconds left.

James, it’s probably not as bad as you think.

Quoted from MarkItZero I'm so sorry people have to read this. I did'nt wanna forfeit though.

I think we've all had those scripts at one time or another. Lol.

So did everyone get something up??

Yes.

Amazing work, as always, Don. Big thank you goes out for having these up almost instantaneously. =)

One more note for everybody. I've locked all the threads for the round 1 scripts, so they don't get mixed around with the round 2 scripts. Hopefully, this keeps things a little more uniform and easy to understand. They will be unlocked when the tournament is over. Thank you.

Don is the man. Seriously now.

Quoted from SAC Don is the man. Seriously now.

Agreed!

So we're commenting on both scripts on the same thread?

Looks that way.

Major props to all involved. Admins and writer. Now we read.

This competition disrupts my facebook read. I'm behind on the world news.

Quoted from khamanna This competition disrupts my facebook read. I'm behind on the world news.

LOL

So we just discuss scripts in the paired posts am I correct? Both at the same time? Since I don't see individual posts for them all.

Quoted from khamanna This competition disrupts my facebook read. I'm behind on the world news.

Let me sum things up for you.

IT'S BAD OUT THERE.

That is all.

Carry on wayward sons and daughters.

Dsn

I looked at my entry and must tell that this "WT" next to it is seriously missing an F.

Quoted from khamanna I looked at my entry and must tell that this "WT" next to it is seriously missing an F.

hahahahahahaha brilliant!

Starting skimming some of these now and I noticed that a few have really been lax on the setting parameter. Did Sean not say "all or the vast majority" of your script has to take place in the celebration setting?

Aaa, we're being naughty this round, aren't we.

Quoted from khamanna I looked at my entry and must tell that this "WT" next to it is seriously missing an F.

Very funny, Miss K!

Quoted from Stumpzian Very funny, Miss K!

Nice entry you've got up there, Stump. Mine got everyone's back though so in a way it's a soul healer.

Quoted from khamanna Nice entry you've got up there, Stump. Mine got everyone's back though so in a way it's a soul healer.

Yours is just as nice. And to think you considered not submitting...Ha!

I have a feeling I'm going to get annihilated this round. My competitor's script is just too good to compete with.

Quoted from ajr Did Sean not say "all or the vast majority" of your script has to take place in the celebration setting?

He did.

But, he also said that if the readers feel that is a detriment to their enjoyment of the script, to grade them accordingly. That way, everyone gets an out. If the writer wants to risk it and spend some time away from the location, they can do that, but the reader might not be quite so forgiving.

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect I have a feeling I'm going to get annihilated this round. My competitor's script is just too good to compete with.

Then the body count will be off by one and your opponent will be disqualified.

Unless you're in one of the 4+ brackets. Then you're screwed.

Am I the only one that thinks Prom Night didn't fulfill the parameters?

Over the page count.

Story doesn't mostly take place at the prom.  Hell, we're barely even in the prom.

Spoilers
Who dies?  And since he relives the day, does that even count?

Don't get me wrong, I died from sugar death in the other oner.  But at least it followed the parameters.

Dan

Quoted from DanC Am I the only one that thinks Prom Night didn't fulfill the parameters?

I'm having a similar struggle with the graduation ceremonies. Neither one gives the celebration itself much screen time.

Quoted from Mr. Blonde He did. But, he also said that if the readers feel that is a detriment to their enjoyment of the script, to grade them accordingly. That way, everyone gets an out. If the writer wants to risk it and spend some time away from the location, they can do that, but the reader might not be quite so forgiving.

Yes publicly.  In PM vast majority isn't mentioned.  I'm happy I managed the PM requirements, just not the forum requirements.  I almost had to withdraw because of this target.  It's better to submit something than nothing at all.  If I receive one vote I'll be happy.

I’ve read a few but will start reviewing soon. I have noticed the difference in script quality compared to the first round. Kind of surprising given the criteria were way easier than most in the previous. I think the open genre and extra pages has caused this. Anyway I’ll read on lol

Quoted from stevie I�ve read a few but will start reviewing soon. I have noticed the difference in script quality compared to the first round. Kind of surprising given the criteria were way easier than most in the previous. I think the open genre and extra pages has caused this. Anyway I�ll read on lol

That seems to be the consensus. I'm not sure what happened, too many good scripts up against each other last round? Eliminating good writers? I've read a few that standouts here, but a lot of people again say that the parameters weren't really met this time around.

Any scripts get an automatic pass the first round?

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect Any scripts get an automatic pass the first round?

Three.

Finished reading and voting. Kudos to everyone for getting something submitted with no one bailing or forfeiting.

A couple all-star scripts and quite a few turkeys! Not sure what happened with this challenge. The themes with open genre seemed pretty simple and straight forward. Easy for me to say sitting on the side-lines.

Good luck!

Quoted from DanC Am I the only one that thinks Prom Night didn't fulfill the parameters? Over the page count. Story doesn't mostly take place at the prom.  Hell, we're barely even in the prom. Spoilers Who dies?  And since he relives the day, does that even count? Don't get me wrong, I died from sugar death in the other oner.  But at least it followed the parameters. Dan

Personally, not a fan of discussing specific scripts on a general thread - that's why they have their own thread.

Just over half way through - gonna take a brief break.

First general reactions:

- The overall quality was down a bit from round 1 in my opinion (at least so far)

- Have seen a few real solid ones - sadly two of them are in the same bracket.

- The number of deaths required is really the story driver for this one - not quite sure how to word it, but it changes the nature of the stories being told. i.e., one person dying at an event has such logistics than several people dying at an event.

- Congrats to all who submitted and continued luck

All read, commented on and voted on.

Congrats to all for getting a script done and submitted.

Now just the 3 day wait to see who gets through!

I'm sorry - my head is not in this round as much. I'm reading and voting though. It's one pairing left for me and I'll do the round of comments on those I left out without feedback.

Although feedback might not be important here - many are so high budget that rewriting them will serve no purpose. I'm commenting to justify my vote mainly, though don't think writers need it either.

Left comments on writing on some fine writers scripts. Not proud of myself for that and already regretting my smarts but what's done is done.

Quoted from khamanna I'm sorry - my head is not in this round as much. I'm reading and voting though. It's one pairing left for me and I'll do the round of comments on those I left out without feedback. Although feedback might not be important here - many are so high budget that rewriting them will serve no purpose. I'm commenting to justify my vote mainly, though don't think writers need it either.

I don't understand this high budget concern. It's a writing exercise. Have fun with it. Not everything has to be written with the intent to sell it.

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect I don't understand this high budget concern. It's a writing exercise. Have fun with it. Not everything has to be written with the intent to sell it.

Depends on the writer. Some do it for fun, some do it because they love writing and some do it with the intent to make money.

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect I don't understand this high budget concern. It's a writing exercise. Have fun with it. Not everything has to be written with the intent to sell it.

Do you have any idea how much the rental is on a bottomless abyss? It's the delivery charges that kill ya.

Personally I don't take budget into account so long as it's filmable in principle. But I am finding several entries that struggle mightily to fit in the assigned parameters.

To each his own, right? This is a creative endeavor.

That said, my approach is usually to make shorts cheap and easy to film. If I'm gonna put the work in, might as well have a chance to get something made.

And, a little cash in the pocket never hurts my feelings.

But, yeah, sometimes you just want to go really big and blow some things up!

Do you guys rewrite just for your files? Which is cool, and probably is a good exercise. But you won't even know if the rewrite is good unless you repost it to the site. But what for - I mean, I wouldn't post it, so it hangs here on the site on its own in the shorts section unless I wanted a producer to stumble upon it.

I usually know pretty quickly when my stories suck. Like, this round, for instance!

Quoted from SAC I usually know pretty quickly when my stories suck. Like, this round, for instance!

If you move on, you won't have to worry about that problem as much next round... =)

I think I've got two sets left. Were people saying the quality was lower or higher than last time? I can't be bothered to look back one page. I thought it was good overall. People seemed to try crazier stuff. Rhyming narrators. Jumbled sequence. I don't know if there was really a single stand-out script but some writers went for broke.

Quoted from MarkItZero People seemed to try crazier stuff. Rhyming narrators. Jumbled sequence. I don't know if there was really a single stand-out script but some writers went for broke.

Worked for one of those two entries.

Quoted from Mr. Blonde If you move on, you won't have to worry about that problem as much next round... =)

(Hand shoots in the air.) Ooh, ooh, I know... 9 pages. Any genre. Your story must suck.

Am I right?

Quoted from PKCardinal (Hand shoots in the air.) Ooh, ooh, I know... 9 pages. Any genre. Your story must suck. Am I right?

But if it's a requirement, then someone could accidentally mess it up.

Quoted from khamanna Do you guys rewrite just for your files? Which is cool, and probably is a good exercise. But you won't even know if the rewrite is good unless you repost it to the site. But what for - I mean, I wouldn't post it, so it hangs here on the site on its own in the shorts section unless I wanted a producer to stumble upon it.

I generally don't rewrite just for myself anymore. If I don't think somethings got a shot at being made, I wouldn't spin my wheels. But, I used to do it regularly. I have five full episodes of a sitcom I wrote. I did it because I wanted to learn how to write deeper characters. I knew that nobody would likely ever see the scripts, but I learned quite a bit doing it. Plus, every episode ended up with more laughs than the one before. The last one is probably the funniest thing I've ever written.

But, that was a TON of work and not recommended as a regular practice.

Quoted from FrankM But if it's a requirement, then someone could accidentally mess it up.

If they messed it up enough, would it come full circle to great? And, would that potentially create a tear in the fabric between time and space?

For this challenge and other OWCs I totally disregard budget unless it's a parameter of the challenge.

That's because I want to have fun with it, to not be restricted by anything that isn't an actual parameter, and I'm not overly bothered if it means it's unlikely to get made.

But I will look at the comments and re-write where I think the feedback is good and works for the script,

In the case of the three scripts I've written so far (I have an unused one for first round) then I think one is filmable but the other two will make decent writing samples.

And having great writing samples is important too, even if you don't expect to see it made.

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect I don't understand this high budget concern. It's a writing exercise. Have fun with it. Not everything has to be written with the intent to sell it.

Yeah I agree, write the story you want, not the budget constraints story.  The story you want is better but not as cheap as the other.  But having the expensive story shows what it can be, writing another based on the original will help out the low budget film makers.  It's up to budget.

I saw a request on Reddit a few weeks ago, $15,000.  That's a lot of options.

Usually you see shoe string budget.

If you write the budget script, it might not look as good as the story you had originally intended.

I'm just reading all these entries straight away, no logline reading, no genre, or details.  I just want to see how these stories materialize.

Quoted from jayrex I'm just reading all these entries straight away, no logline reading, no genre, or details.  I just want to see how these stories materialize.

Eventually you'll see... a pattern.

Is anybody still actually reading or voting?

Quoted from Warren Is anybody still actually reading or voting?

Well, I have one pair left.

Apparently I'm expected to do things at my job. Who knew?

Speaking of voting, I hope everyone sticks around to vote in the coming rounds. If the numbers dwindle each round, we could have a real pitcher's duel in the final.

Hate to see the mods have to break a 1-1 tie.

Quoted from FrankM Well, I have one pair left. Apparently I'm expected to do things at my job. Who knew?

Just a question.

Quoted from Warren Just a question.

Didn't mean anything by it. Fortunately I'm not at work at the moment, and now I'm done.

Quoted from FrankM Didn't mean anything by it. Fortunately I'm not at work at the moment, and now I'm done.

Glad to see you got your priorities right :P

Quoted from Warren Is anybody still actually reading or voting?

Still got a few to go.

Yep. Reading, and then voting as I'm pretty sure others are. Don't panic, there's still two days to go.

Sean, what about March time madness votings?

Is this only going to be a once a year in March thing? Or more often?

It's going for three more weeks for someone. Which means - 5 weeks in total, which is more than a month. Unless Sean decides to give one theme for all participants next round.

Seems like some parameter-breaking scripts are going to move on. In retrospect I wish I had taken a few more liberties, but a carpenter never blames his tools.

I still have a lot to read. Just haven't had time. Working on it.

Quoted from ajr Seems like some parameter-breaking scripts are going to move on. In retrospect I wish I had taken a few more liberties, but a carpenter never blames his tools.

Yep.  IMO it isn't right, but the votes have spoken.

And I agree, I wish I went with option 2.  I had 2 scripts written and made a bad choice, but did learn a valuable lesson for the future, which I can't share till the voting is done.

I'd do this again.  This was fun.  So, does this mean that there isn't a OWC for April like there usually is??

Dan

Quoted from khamanna Sean, what about March time madness votings?

That's on hiatus. This was clearly more popular and I wanted to put all my effort into this.

Quoted from khamanna It's going for three more weeks for someone. Which means - 5 weeks in total, which is more than a month. Unless Sean decides to give one theme for all participants next round.

You will all receive identical parameters next round.

Quoted from DanC So, does this mean that there isn't a OWC for April like there usually is??

To my knowledge, the April OWC is still on schedule.

Yep, this has been a boatload of fun. And even though I'm not moving on, I really enjoyed being challenged, and I think I have two scripts I can work with, and it made me want to write again. I had been so focused on trying to 'produce' some of my other work that I really never gave myself time to sit and write.

Quoted from Mr. Blonde You will all receive identical parameters next round.

Quoted from PKCardinal (Hand shoots in the air.) Ooh, ooh, I know... 9 pages. Any genre. Your story must suck. Am I right?

Once I'm eliminated here, I'll try my hand at the OWC.

I've really enjoyed the challenge too, not written a short for myself in last year and now I have three new ones (wrote two for first round))... and although they all need some work, I think they're okay... may have given me the short bug again!

Lol I was just about to finally start my next feature before this cool tourney rocked up. Happens every time there’s an OWC too. In between I get slack and do nothing. But this time I will start the feature after the April OWC and get it done because it needs to be written.

For me, I've enjoyed the competition.  I like what I've created for both tasks.  Although I'm going to rewrite only the first one, make that a tv spec.  And without the tasks given to me, in the time frame, I don't think I'd have come up with these stories.

I have rarely written sci-fi too, one of my favourite genres to watch, I must have less than five scripts, now I have one more.  Got to thank Mr Blonde for this.

1. The vast majority, if not all, of your script should take place during and at the ceremony you were given.

2. The people who die in your script have to die during the course of the script. They can't be dead before the script starts and they can't be dying as the script ends. They die, at some point, during your script.

Nearly finished. I find even if the parameters are not adhered to strictly, I still vote for the better written, more cohesive and entertaining story.

Looking forward to the next round.

Are we still having an April OWC?

Quoted from LC Are we still having an April OWC?

To my knowledge, everything is still on schedule.

And I'm finished with my reviews. Boy, that was exhausting...

So half of me says why have parameters if so many writers are going to flagrantly flout them... and then the other half  says that the end justifies the means, which is to say that the ultimate objective is to create art, and the contest only lasts a few days, and then these scripts are free from the parameters....

Then another part of me - wait, there's 3 halves of me? Oh, it's only the first half answering the second half back - says that you should fit the parameters as given, and then rewrite your script afterwards once you are free of the constraints.

I think in a writing challenge like this, and OWC, part of the point is the parameters... It's not much of a challenge otherwise. Imho of course

There's an entry everyone loves that is still going down so--

Here's an idea - there could be an entry in the third round selected out of those that sank. They call it something in those games. I think in American Idol or some singing competitions they do that, the judges have one come back.

Quoted from AnthonyCawood I think in a writing challenge like this, and OWC, part of the point is the parameters... It's not much of a challenge otherwise. Imho of course

I think people see the parameters differently.

For example, some think killing should occur during the celebration.  I don't see it as a parameter, so I didn't penalize for it.

Quoted from khamanna I think people see the parameters differently. For example, some think killing should occur during the celebration.  I don't see it as a parameter, so I didn't penalize for it.

Yes, you could conceivably kill off your allotted characters in the beginning and then play Weekend at Bernie's through the celebration taking up 90% of the script.

I thought the zombie story was brave since it provokes a fight over whether anyone died, though I had other issues with that particular script.

Was half expecting a 3-body-count script in horror format where they have to kill the same character three times. Alas, was not to be.

Quoted from AnthonyCawood I think in a writing challenge like this, and OWC, part of the point is the parameters... It's not much of a challenge otherwise. Imho of course

concur 100 %

Quoted from khamanna There's an entry everyone loves that is still going down so-- Here's an idea - there could be an entry in the third round selected out of those that sank. They call it something in those games. I think in American Idol or some singing competitions they do that, the judges have one come back.

They call it "A Save"

Quoted from FrankM Was half expecting a 3-body-count script in horror format where they have to kill the same character three times. Alas, was not to be.

This is a fun idea! You write it!

Actually, I'm toying with the idea which I would have if I was in another pairing. Want to write a short in another category. Thank God I don't have to do it 48 hours. Although it was fun trying.

Quoted from eldave1 They call it "A Save"

Just an idea, surely.

Quoted from khamanna This is a fun idea! You write it!

It would have been a fun play on the parameters, but as a freestyle short it'd just look cliched. That, and I don't really "get" the horror genre.

(And I literally avoided bringing my sons to certain subway stops when they were running ads for It. Who vets these ads, anyway?)

Quoted from AnthonyCawood I think in a writing challenge like this, and OWC, part of the point is the parameters... It's not much of a challenge otherwise. Imho of course

Writers should not be penalized this round for having scripts that are not 100% on location.

When I got my PM with instructions and parameters, I was amped for it and wrote my script that night. I was instructed that I have a “celebration” and that X amount of people must die. Thats it. Nothing about location. The instructions page said that writers would not be DQ’d for going a little over 8 pages.

The NEXT DAY there is some discussion on the forum and the organizer says that he would prefer that everything happen on location. After my script is already written! Those instructions are tacked on to the info page (wasn’t  there when the round started).

Does that seem fair? Change the rule a day after the round starts in a 48hr writing contest? Now let me just say that the organizers have done a great job with this contest. But people are being really stupid about this. I wasn’t going to write a second script.

RJP,

Once I got my topic, I asked the moderator if everyone had to die at the event, and he said yes. So that's what I wrote. No big deal, it might have changed my script a little bit, but it would not have affected the outcome. I had trouble reaching the voters for other reasons.

So let's apply logic to the parameters at hand - all or the vast majority of your script must take place at the event. If it's an 8 page limit, I'm guessing 7 pages is a vast majority?

So logic would dictate that unless your people dying on the one page that you're not at the event for is intrinsic to your story, you should do all you can to have them die during the 'vast majority.' That's how I saw it, and that's how I scored it.

Quoted from ajr RJP, Once I got my topic, I asked the moderator if everyone had to die at the event, and he said yes. So that's what I wrote. No big deal, it might have changed my script a little bit, but it would not have affected the outcome. I had trouble reaching the voters for other reasons. So let's apply logic to the parameters at hand - all or the vast majority of your script must take place at the event. If it's an 8 page limit, I'm guessing 7 pages is a vast majority? So logic would dictate that unless your people dying on the one page that you're not at the event for is intrinsic to your story, you should do all you can to have them die during the 'vast majority.' That's how I saw it, and that's how I scored it.

Yeah, and I wasn't going to make a big deal about anything. The only reason I'm bringing it up is because people are still talking about it. I lost dozens of votes because of it and it's not fair.

What writing contest on this planet would change the rules after starting the round? People are defending it because they didn't get screwed like I did. I'm probably the only one that started my script when the initial instructions were given.

I followed the instructions perfectly. I didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't handled very well.

Quoted from RJP Yeah, and I wasn't going to make a big deal about anything. The only reason I'm bringing it up is because people are still talking about it. I lost dozens of votes because of it and it's not fair. What writing contest on this planet would change the rules after starting the round? People are defending it because they didn't get screwed like I did. I'm probably the only one that started my script when the initial instructions were given. I followed the instructions perfectly. I didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't handled very well.

It's okay dude. I'm not moving on either. People vote how they vote.

Quoted from RJP Yeah, and I wasn't going to make a big deal about anything. The only reason I'm bringing it up is because people are still talking about it. I lost dozens of votes because of it and it's not fair. What writing contest on this planet would change the rules after starting the round? People are defending it because they didn't get screwed like I did. I'm probably the only one that started my script when the initial instructions were given. I followed the instructions perfectly. I didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't handled very well.

Dozens of votes??

There was one script that I did not think met the parameters.

It was not close in quality to the other script.

Feel badly if you lost because (a) you had a superior script and (b) the reason it lost was confusion re: the rules.  Just saying that from my perspective there wasn't a single script that was A and B.

Quoted from khamanna There's an entry everyone loves that is still going down so-- Here's an idea - there could be an entry in the third round selected out of those that sank. They call it something in those games. I think in American Idol or some singing competitions they do that, the judges have one come back.

To go up against who? The numbers wouldn't work out.

Sean said it's going to be one parameter for all. So maybe it's the last round where the participants vote just like they do in a regular OWC.

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect It's okay dude. I'm not moving on either. People vote how they vote.

It's not okay... you knocked me out, so it is your responsibility to go all the way! ;)

Quoted from FrankM It's not okay... you knocked me out, so it is your responsibility to go all the way! ;)

Ha, I tried!!!  I threw a Hail Mary and no one liked it!!!

(well, some did)

Quoted from khamanna Sean said it's going to be one parameter for all. So maybe it's the last round where the participants vote just like they do in a regular OWC.

No.

Next round is swimsuit competition (which I will effing crush).

Then semis is the Spelling Bee (I already feel tens)

Then the final

Quoted from eldave1 Next round is swimsuit competition (which I will effing crush).

Get to waxin' people.

Quoted from eldave1 Next round is swimsuit competition (which I will effing crush).

Well, if two-pieces are allowed Sean will have to explain if they could be connected at all, and if yes if it could be on either side.

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect It's okay dude. I'm not moving on either. People vote how they vote.

No, I'm ahead in votes. I will probably be through to next round. I just don't agree with the rules changing at the start of the round.

I'm sour because there has been many comments about my script not following instructions. My opponent feels cheated. I'm not left with a feeling that I earned anything.

You people are almost outing yourselves. I can guess your entry now (which I'm not going to do now of course) and be 100percent sure I guess it right.

Quoted from eldave1 Dozens of votes?? There was one script that I did not think met the parameters. It was not close in quality to the other script. Feel badly if you lost because (a) you had a superior script and (b) the reason it lost was confusion re: the rules.  Just saying that from my perspective there wasn't a single script that was A and B.

Dave, I'm with you on this one and that entry has not lost. Let's hope it doesn't.

Quoted from khamanna You people are almost outing yourselves. I can guess your entry now (which I'm not going to do now of course) and be 100percent sure I guess it right.

No guessing! lol.

Sorry, I shouldn't have said I lost "dozens" of votes. I think the word I was looking for was "several". I think 3 people mentioned on my script page that they were not voting for me because of it.

It's whatever. I'm going to try and just have fun if I move through to the next round.

So, what will happen if a person outs himself? He's out of the game then, right?

Quoted from khamanna Sean said it's going to be one parameter for all. So maybe it's the last round where the participants vote just like they do in a regular OWC.

I hope it doesn't turn into an OWC voting style, half the fun of this has been the knockout style. I hope that holds till the end.

Quoted from khamanna So, what will happen if a person outs himself? He's out of the game then, right?

Well, there's a writer who has written so well that he's "outed" himself each round. He didn't make any attempt to keep his identity hidden; to give his opponent even a shred of a chance.

We might just have to disqualify him for these reasons  ;)

Quoted from RJP No, I'm ahead in votes. I will probably be through to next round. I just don't agree with the rules changing at the start of the round. I'm sour because there has been many comments about my script not following instructions. My opponent feels cheated. I'm not left with a feeling that I earned anything.

Pfft, what are you complaining for then?  hahahaha

Well, I'm about to out myself and see.

I also had my script writen before the extra parameters. That is why I asked these questions on the old thread and then reposted them on the new thread.

Sean says not all but most if your script needs to be set at the celebration, which I believe I did.

I also clarified that they could die anywhere in your script (Sean did not say no, they have to die at the celebration).

At no point was I given the extra, extra parameter of everyone having to die at the celebration, I don't even remember reading it anywhere.

I'm sorry ajr but I thought I was writing in the constraints of what I was given. The fact that you were told everyone had to die at yours and I wasn't given the same info is a bit of a shame.

Quoted from Warren I asked Sean this question earlier in the old thread, maybe it helps? "Hi Sean, I understand the can't be dead before the script starts, but not so much the can't be dying as your script ends? So they can die on the last page, but can't be dying? So you have to see them dead or know that they are dead? Okay so we are going with most, if not all, BUT MOST of your script takes place at your ceremony. I guarantee people are going to get caught up on that. To me this means there can be a small portion of your script that does not take place at the event and that is acceptable?" To my question about the dead he replied: "Exactly" and to the question about location he replied: "If I had it my way, they would take place at the location 100%. However, people like to have set-up, cutaways, flashbacks, etc, which might not necessarily take place at the location. One thing I made a note of last round is that I do condone people bringing their own sets of values into the reviews. For some people, any time away from the location or genre (or modifier, in the last round) was a deal-breaker. Others were willing to look past that and see just the story. Neither one is wrong. It's all about that line and whether or not you cross it. It's why art is called "subjective" and why I don't DQ, because where I stand is not the same as where everybody else stands."\ So every one has to die within the pages of your script somewhere, and there can, although not ideal, be a small potion of your script away from the location, but it isn't preferable.

No worries Warren, it probably wouldn't have changed my entry all that much.

Boy, this thread is starting to become a bit PTSD-ish. Can't wait to see the stress in the finals...

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I blame myself, not the voters.  I will lose this round and it's my fault.  I wrote a bad story.  

I broke rule 1 of screenwriting.  We've discussed what must happen each scene and not only did I violate that, but I did it for the whole story because I was stretching my ideas and wrote a story based on something that I read.

So, to my opponent, who will move on, good job.  You wrote the better story and enough people liked yours the best.

Looking forward to seeing who wrote what again.

I wish I have time to give you my guesses tomorrow before you start out yourself and before the list is out. I could guess about everybody. Lol, got to be good at something...

After seeing what happened on the Anniversary thread I'm interested to know what people's thoughts are about commenting on your own script, but more so using your comment to clear up plot points that previous readers may not have understood. So in essence making the script more clear for future readers?

I have no issue with commenting, I have a bit of an issue with how the comment can be used. I would have loved the opportunity to clear up some issues with my script but don't feel it's in the spirit of the competition to do so before the voting has ended.

Thoughts?

Khamanna you can't forfeit! Once you enter Sean's torture chamber there's no leaving till the voters finally offer you sweet mercy.

Quoted from Warren I would have loved the opportunity to clear up some issues with my script but don't feel it's in the spirit of the competition to do so before the voting has ended. Thought?

I had a similar issue in the previous round. Everyone was saying that the comedy missed, when it was actually a straight sci-fi script. I'm pretty sure I got that treatment because my opponent's offering was side-splitting hilarious.

Quoted from Warren After seeing what happened on the Anniversary thread I'm interested to know what people's thoughts are about commenting on your own script, but more so using your comment to clear up plot points that previous readers may not have understood. So in essence making the script more clear for future readers? I have no issue with commenting, I have a bit of an issue with how the comment can be used. I would have loved the opportunity to clear up some issues with my script but don't feel it's in the spirit of the competition to do so before the voting has ended. Thought?

I think it's reasonable to plug some holes that you couldn't do in the script.  If the writer who wrote the one about the abyss explained what it was, well that isn't fair.  But if the fishing story wanted to clear some issue about fishing and the danger of what they were doing, that's OK.

What I'm trying to say is if you have knowledge of something, share it.  If it is knowledge no one would know, then don't.  If you wrote a story about magic and realized something you forgot to add, then I'd say no, because magic and world Bible material is world specific.

Make sense
Dan

Commenting on your own script to clear things up before voting is closed is against the spirit of it being anonymous, and when would it be a 'fair' to do it so as not to potentially influence the voting?

Warren took me to task for this in the Anniversary thread, and he's repeating it here. I responded to him in that thread, if anyone wants to read it.

Here's another way to look at it - who cares?

Stump and Khamanna are basically on record as saying that neither of them had a great idea for this round, and each was writing so that the other one wouldn't advance on a default. It's the rest of us loons that are making a big deal out of it.

AJR

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Commenting on your own script to clear things up before voting is closed is against the spirit of it being anonymous, and when would it be a 'fair' to do it so as not to potentially influence the voting?

In my case I could have said something like “I read this one first and it didn’t strike me as trying to be a comedy.” But I didn’t because then there’d be some expectation of a review, so I stayed away from my script and my opponent’s.

Quoted from Stumpzian Warren took me to task for this in the Anniversary thread, and he's repeating it here. I responded to him in that thread, if anyone wants to read it.

I think it's a valid point for discussion that is why I posted it here as this is the round 2 discussion thread.

No one has to agree with me, I'm just giving an opinion.

I actually wouldn't mind if the comments were closed on all scripts until the voting ends. My perfect world: voting ends one day earlier with no comments. Then one day for everyone to comment on the scripts before the next round starts.

Down side: probably many fewer comments, as many wouldn't go back after voting is done.

Either way, this has been pure fun. Though, I feel for those poor writers that go five weeks. Insane amount of work. I want to win, don't get me wrong... but, there's a tiny part of me that hopes someone puts me out of my misery.

You're one of my bets for PARTIES BY LEO, PK - either you or Cameron D.

Oops, did I start to guess to soon?

Mass hysteria, dogs and cats living together!

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AJR

I'm banking on Dave being the writer for Leo.

Quoted from ajr Mass hysteria, dogs and cats living together! AJR

"I'd call that a big yes."

I thought Khamanna wrote the Prom-ise one for some reason. But she did ok with the prison anniversary one.

Quoted from ajr You're one of my bets for PARTIES BY LEO, PK - either you or Cameron D.

Parties? I am a history teacher, lol but no. I was not a fan of that one personally, lol. Guess again!

Quoted from PKCardinal I actually wouldn't mind if the comments were closed on all scripts until the voting ends. My perfect world: voting ends one day earlier with no comments. Then one day for everyone to comment on the scripts before the next round starts.

This is a great idea.

It's pretty much all over so I'm getting in a few guesses slightly early.

The Prom - James

The Prom-ise - Steven

Blood Brothers - Dave

I think Fiesta - Dave
and Blood Brothers - PKCardinal as But I Love You is The Usual.
and Leo - Anthony C.
I have other guesses too. Will tell after the voting is closed.

Quoted from ajr Mass hysteria, dogs and cats living together!

Lol, too funny

I bet no one will guess mine.  Sadly, I took a step back this time, and it cost me.  But, I learned a lot.

Dan

Dan, isn't it Prom-ise?

Quoted from Warren It's pretty much all over so I'm getting in a few guesses slightly early. The Prom - James The Prom-ise - Steven Blood Brothers - Dave

I admit I like writing the drama, but this? This... Even this was too gut wrenching for my tastes. Nope. Mine was bad, though. Good luck in round three!

Quoted from SAC I admit I like writing the drama, but this? This... Even this was too gut wrenching for my tastes. Nope. Mine was bad, though. Good luck in round three!

That's why I thought it was you! Well there you go.

Quoted from SAC I admit I like writing the drama, but this? This... Even this was too gut wrenching for my tastes. Nope. Mine was bad, though. Good luck in round three!

The Graduate for you then)

And Retired is Warren

Quoted from SAC I admit I like writing the drama, but this? This... Even this was too gut wrenching for my tastes. Nope. Mine was bad, though. Good luck in round three!

Haha. It's a strength of you to write wrenching stuff, things that get heartbreaking. And why not? You're the best at it… I expect your Christmas script will be full of it. No no drama guy :-) can't get out of the pigeonhole

Quoted from khamanna The Graduate for you then)

The girl is good!

Quoted from PrussianMosby Haha. It's a strength of you to write wrenching stuff, things that get heartbreaking. And why not? You're the best at it… I expect your Christmas script will be full of it. No no drama guy :-) can't get out of the pigeonhole

I get you. I do like writing good drama, but I’m not killing off two disabled fourteen-year-olds in wheelchairs and their mother, too, no sir!

Here's what I think:
Two Blind Mice - Anthony (ajr)
Retired - Warren

Fiesta Muerta - Dave
The Plan - jayrex

Blood Brothers - PKCardinal
But I Love You - The Usual

Prom Night - RJP
Prom-ise of love - Dan

Parties by Leo - Anthony Cawood
For Old Friends and New - Martin S

Renewal - Cameron
Till Cake Do Us Part � Stevie

The Harvest � James
The Graduate � Steven Clark

We can officially guess by the way. It says "guess who wrote what" up there. Finally!)

Someone's making some real strong guesses.

I'll say this: I think Dave wrote Parties By Leo.

Quoted from khamanna Here's what I think: Two Blind Mice - Anthony (ajr) Retired - Warren Fiesta Muerta - Dave The Plan - jayrex Blood Brothers - PKCardinal But I Love You - The Usual Prom Night - RJP Prom-ise of love - Dan Parties by Leo - Anthony Cawood For Old Friends and New - Martin S Renewal - Cameron Till Cake Do Us Part � Stevie The Harvest � James The Graduate � Steven Clark

Not bad.

Looks like Sean has a tie to break...

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I suspect Blondie will break the tie in a logical and fair manner according to the parameters.

Roll on next round! Looking forward to it.

I can't even begin to think what Blondie might give you next.

Your opponent will set a genre for you to write in.

You'll be writing a 50-page pilot in a group of four. In 48 hours.

Oh, the possibilities.

Quoted from khamanna I can't even begin to think what Blondie might give you next. Your opponent will set a genre for you to write in. You'll be writing a 50-page pilot in a group of four. In 48 hours. Oh, the possibilities.

But at least you get to pick whether the dialogue is in Elven, Klingon, or whatever Latka was speaking on Taxi.

Eebedah!

Congrats to my opponent.

Yeah, but when are you going to spill what you all wrote?

Well it's all done now, so I'm happy to confirm that you are right Kham, I wrote Leo.

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Well it's all done now, so I'm happy to confirm that you are right Kham, I wrote Leo.

Nice play - you kept saying you don't do comedy

I honestly don't normally, thought I'd give it a go :-)

I wrote But I Love You....

Congrats to my opponent Stevie! We were fairly close in the voting so I'll take that as a sign we were equally matched. ;)

I wrote Till Cake Do Us Part.

At first I had zero good ideas for a story. But since our parameters said two people must die at a wedding it was pretty obvious to me they should be the bride and groom. But how could I plausibly kill them off at their own wedding? A jilted lover of course. The next question then became how to do it in an interesting way.

As so often in my thought process, I look back at Hitchcock. Specifically his thoughts on surprise and suspense. What's more interesting? Having a bomb in a suitcase blow up unsuspectingly, or knowing the bomb is there and waiting for it to explode? That became the genesis of my idea. Instead of a bomb though, I'd have a poisoned cake at a wedding and build tension as I teased people eating it over and over.

What wasn't clear, and my fault, was the twist at the end. Roy intended to kill bride and groom at first with the small cake, but when he hears of Matt's cheating ways decides he doesn't want Julia to spend an eternity with the scumbag so kills himself so he can finally be reunited with his one true love. Page length made that hard to set up at the end though.

However as I began to write, the absurdity of the situation pulled me towards taking a comedic approach. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking of Something About Mary with Roy becoming a facsimile of Matt Dillon's character in it. Utterly despicable in a goofy way. I knew comedy is hard, and I've never really written an all out comedic script before but I've always wanted to try. It was really fun to write. However, I knew going for an all out comedy would be a huge risk for the tournament and as the results show, it was a risk that backfired on me in the end.

That's said I'd do it again as I liked this little script for what it was. Was surprised how many people were put off by having a SUPER appear a few seconds into a scene, but not by how many people were turned off by the jokes, good or bad. In my mind's eye, I think this script would play out a lot better on screen than on page since so much of comedy hinges on an actors performance. I might rewrite into a proper short and resubmit.

Good job Stevie. Hope you bring it again it next round!

Quoted from TheUsualSuspect I wrote But I Love You....

Which, of course, means I wrote Blood Brothers.

I already told TheUsualSuspect what I think of his work, but, I'll share it with everyone. I thought it was gutsy and well done. No way he deserved to go home in this round, and no way the vote reflected the closeness of our two scripts. It was a dead heat for sure.

Thanks to all the great comments on Blood Brothers. I've already started a rewrite to clarify the inciting incident, and address several other notes.

For the record: the answer to the "why now?" question is supposed to be Walter's cancer diagnosis. Looking back, I realize I was being way too subtle on the first (most important) reference, and lost the other references for different reasons.

Haven't decided how I'll address the Nam timing issue. I'll figure something out.

Not sure the ending worked how I wanted, either. I wanted to leave the reader wondering if Walter did what he did for the right or wrong reason. Was he selfish? Didn't want to watch his friends slowly die off, and also saw a way to relieve long-held guilt? Or, did he do what he knew they all really wanted to do, but couldn't? (He knew Walter would say "no." Not because he didn't want it, but because he wouldn't do that to his friends.)

I'm not sure I pulled that off.

Anyway, my hope is to repost on the site, look for any interest. Absent that, I might shoot it myself. Shouldn't be too hard.

The night of the due date I had an idea. It was a good piece, and I got five pages in when it hit me — no one is gonna die! There’s no way to make anyone die here. So, I scrapped it and came back to my original idea, which was The Graduate. Enough said. It sucked, poorly written. James wrote a much better script than I did, so congrats to James on his!

So Khamanna is indeed correct once again, I wrote TWO BLIND MICE.

Congratulations to Warren who wrote a superior script, and I'm excited to see what he comes up with for the next round.

I've had these characters knocking around in my head for a while; they were part of a short script I wrote years back, and I thought I could get them into this situation, but obviously it came out confusing.

It was really difficult to move them around the party and get the 'alone time' I needed for the characters to interact with each other. Looks like I tried to jam a 10 page script into 8 pages. I think I was also trying not to spoon-feed the story and thus got too bare on exposition. But a carpenter never blames his tools.

It was supposed to be clear from the interactions between the characters that Tommy and Lenny were low-level mobsters, that Adam worked for a money launderer named Yuri, and that Lenny was there to collect a debt for his "union boss" Joey, because Adam pulled a fast one (letting the tenant do the construction open shop). Was also supposed to be clear in Carlee's dialogue toward Tommy that she was an FBI agent and that Tommy had flipped, and that they were romantically involved.

Yeah, the sniper taking out the guard. I'm going to say that the sniper saw him as a rogue target, something he wasn't expecting. And needed to keep Lenny alive for questioning. Yeah, let's go with that.

I thought I had also dropped enough hints about this basically being OF MICE AND MEN with hit men. The title, the name Lenny, and the ending. At first I had Tommy shooting him in the back like the novel, and then I thought it worked better if Lenny would plead to die.  (Thank you to Stump, who I think was the only person who got it! lol)

Thanks again to all who plodded through this for the greater good. I'm always going to write character dramas if given the chance. I find we remember characters more than we remember plot. Ferris Bueller, Damone and Spicoli, Lloyd Dobler and Diane Court - that's my wheelhouse. I'm always going to write because I have something to SAY, not because I have an idea for a script. So in this case, for this contest, I had to come up with a theme - in SADIE's case the theme was easy, and here it was basically about loyalty and friendship - and then shoehorn it in to the parameters. Lesson learned!

I'm going to expand this to see if some page length gives it clarity and go from there.

Thanks again,

AJR

I wrote The Harvest. And no, I can't tell you what the abyss is. First, you have to think like the abyss. Then, you must become the abyss. Only then will its true nature be revealed.

Quoted from MarkItZero I wrote The Harvest. And no, I can't tell you what the abyss is. First, you have to think like the abyss. Then, you must become the abyss. Only then will its true nature be revealed.

That's deep, man.

Congratulations to my opponent.  I wrote my second drama ever, The Prom-ise of love.

I broke screenwriting 101 because I knew the script didn't have any conflict and I didn't have the pages to make the antagonist their health, much like the weather in The Day After Tomorrow was the antagonist for most of the film.

It was also partially based on a real life story of 2 sick kids who died at their make a wish party.  The kids mom also died. Likely in my story, she had put off cancer treatment so she could focus on her kids, but, died at the party as well.

I'm always trying to push myself to write genres that I'm uncomfortable with.  And this was hard.  

I hope I surprised some of you.  Looking forward to the April challenge.  I feel like I wasted a golden opportunity, but, don't we all.  

As usual, I learned a lot, relearned a huge lesson about conflict, and will come back stronger.

Thanks to all who read, commenced, and voted, even if you didn't vote for me.  Votes were important to the event, so thanks.

I will read all the entries till the final.  

Good luck to all.  I would do this again.  It was a blast.

Perhaps we could do teams next.  Best score wins each round.

Dan

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Well it's all done now, so I'm happy to confirm that you are right Kham, I wrote Leo.

Congrats Anthony, head and shoulders above for me that round.

Quoted from PKCardinal That's deep, man.

So, it's like my toilet after I submit my offerings to the porcelain god??

Dan

Thanks to all who commented (and voted) on mine, Parties by Leo, just thought I'd explain a few things and decisions I made...

The idea that Leo planned parties is apparently historically accurate, he was Master of Feats and Banquets, which I found amusing and with a twist I could finally get this into a short.

Some of the visual jokes only work if you know his works of art, so some may not get picked up by everyone, but I tried to have some verbal and visual gags... but I don't normally write comedy so was pretty much winging it.

I intentionally went with modern speech, no idea in what way I'd indicate or get close to renaissance Italian, so didn't try.

I'll be re-writing this (and my first round entry) after the challenge is over, so thanks for comments, will be using some of the suggestions in the next draft.

  

Thanks Anthony - appreciated, glad you liked it.

Question Anthony. What was with all the innuendo at the beginning? It seriously sounded to me like Da Vinci and that waiter were having some kind of affair which was jarring and threw me off right away. Was that intentional or did I read it wrong?

Da Vinci's sexuality was ambiguous, when he was young he was arrested and charged with sodomy

Sorry, that posted before I finished...

And I wanted to show him in a same sex.scenario where it's normal but the other guy just isn't into the genius inventor

Thanks to all who read Renewal. I wanted to try something different and was happy with it. Was gonna do a comedy and had a good idea for one but the zombie thing hit me from nowhere and I ran with it.

Aopogies for the third death - it was a complete overlook when I finished up and submitted. Hours later I was in bed and suddenly twigged. I offered to resubmit with a quick edit but the boys let it slide.

Also a couple of reviews wondered why the young people went to the church? Simple, Rachel wanted to release her folks from the zombie life by killing them.

Cheers to my opponent Cam and good luck to all in the next round

[quote=ajrscreenworks]

Congratulations to Warren who wrote a superior script, and I'm excited to see what he comes up with for the next round.
/quote]

Thanks, ajr!

So I obviously wrote Retired, I'd say it's the most ambitious thing I've ever written and it's construction was painfully hard.

Anthony, I can't remember what you asked that it was inspired by, but whatever it was the answer is no. It was inspired by a script I read by Richard Russell from SS a long while back. I loved the structure and have been keeping it in the backing my mind.

As far as whether it's a gimmick or not, I really don't think so. I mean, in a sense it is because it messes with the normal structure of a film but for this particular short it changes the whole dynamic.

If told in the correct order we would know why the pro is killing the cops. By switching it around that all remains a mystery. I personally felt that would be the page turner, why did Malloy die, why did Lawson die, why is there a bloody prostitute, how did this sequence of events get to this?

As far as giving the reader some kind of visual clue like a clock, or signifying the time change in the slug, I purposely didn't do that and don't think it was at all necessary. I wanted the reader to have a similar level of initial confusion that someone viewing this would have. We see Mallory die, then the next minute he's alive, it forces you to think about it. I personally think that would be a much more enjoyable film to watch than one being force fed to you.

Looks like it worked for some and not so much for others. Either way I'm really happy with this and consider it one of my best pieces of writing to date.

Looking forward to the next round.

I see we are outing although I haven't seen a complete who wrote what list.

I write Fiesta Muerta - thanks to all who read and commented.

PK - Thanks for the kind words. I really do appreciate it.

But I Love You is a result of two different ideas mixed together.  Obviously it didn’t work for some people since the most negative feedback was about how annoying the narrator was. Without the rhyming it would feel too generic to me and I needed it to stand out, not only against my opponent but in this entire round. You don’t even want to know how many times I went over the timing of it all in my head.

Confused how one person missed the rhyming entirely though.

@Stevie, so you do write stuff other than drunken men and parties! Congrats - messed you up with Cam for that reason.

Quoted from khamanna @Stevie, so you do write stuff other than drunken men and parties! Congrats - messed you up with Cam for that reason.

Lol cheers K.  I have written some other horror shorts for past owc. It’s a new challenge away from comedy.

Thank you to everyone who pointed out all the issues with "From Old Friends and New"! I was able to pass the first round with "The Confession" simply because my opponent that time didn't put up anything. But I am very happy that I did since that way I got fair and honest feedback on this one which has already helped me with my writing! I really, really appreciate it! Truth is my script had tons of issues which made it difficult to read, but now that I can see that I can actually try to not repeat those mistakes in the future. On other platforms I sometimes get feedback from starters who do similar mistakes so they are never really pointed out. Here, that thankfully wasn't the case! So, my appreciation to the forum and the tournament! I do not regreat signing up, this was great and extremely helpful!

Oh and @Anthony: Leo was great, I voted for it! But on a side note: thanks for the opportunities links you post every week! Looking through one of them out of boredom I got re-directed to another craigslist post which ended up in a part-time trailer check opportunity at local theaters! And I love trailers! So those posts definetly don't go to waste.

Thanks, Martin for liking Leo and appreciating the opportunities links, glad it led you to the trailers thing!