Rover One by 0 - Short, Sci Fi, Comedy - An explorer on the dwarf planet Ceres obeys orders perfectly -- up to a point. - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Heh heh...very funny (after reading it twice and letting it sink in). Great job for a one-page comedy.

Cocker-pit? Like a cocker spaniel pit bull mix?  Pretty good writing here, but wasn’t especially drawn to the story.  Still, not a bad effort.

Best of luck,
Gary

Writing was solid. I got a little confused on the action on screen vs planet - but did get there eventually.

Cute

Hmm, too me a mo to let this sink in and get it... but visually I can't see it at all.

Bit of a mixed bag. I had to read it twice but it's actually pretty funny once it sinks in.

Not sure I got the joke but it might be because I'm international.

Think this one went a bit over my head; I read it twice and still didn’t quite get it. Probably says more about me than the writing.

I don’t understand the significance of the English vs. American. I read the comments to try work it out and people mentioned having to let it settle. I had another read and I still don’t get it.

English breed dog vs. American breed dog?

The writing is good, no issues there.

I think I get it. But alas, I believe this one was a miss for me.

A fun little joke tale, even though I'd normally turn my nose up at a dog-in-space story.
Last line would be better if it said, "We should have gone with the American breed," or some such.

An American breed would be a mutt... and mutts are so much more loyal;)

Rover One

The humor didn't land for me here and there wasn't much flow in the plot. Overall presentation was pretty good, so still a
2

I think the first slug line is incorrect - if we're on the planet then we can't be EXT. ASTEROID BELT.

I too had to read it a couple of times. I guess it's a play on the two uses of the word rover?

As a comedy it didn't hit the mark for me.

This one was humorous.  I like the idea behind it, even though it's impossible.  It's sci-fi and a comedy, it works for what it is.  Not serious, just plain old comedy.

Quoted from ajr I think the first slug line is incorrect - if we're on the planet then we can't be EXT. ASTEROID BELT

Since Ceres is inside the Asteroid Belt, I interpreted the slug as starting with the overall location, then moving to the specific location. I may be wrong.

Good effort. The humour was a little too corny for me :p

The writing overall was pretty good though.

Confused.

Bit hit and miss for me.

I like the idea, but it doesn't quite land.

I'm undecided, and like the previous one I just read (set in the Space of your imagination) I'm not convinced  as to its ease of Production.

Marks for originality.

This missed the Mark for me.  I didn't get the humor or the story.  Are you saying there's a dog on Ceres??  

Sorry, but I simply couldn't follow it.  2

Dan

Writer,

Ha. I was thinking Rover was a dog just from the title. Pretty good effort.