Road Trip by Warren Duncan - Short, Sci Fi, Comedy - Everybody loves a good road trip. - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Bravo.  Taking current events and making a fun story out of it.

Best,
Gary

As a SpaceX fan I may be a bit biased but I really enjoyed this. Great twist. Well done for containing all that in one page.

A good one-pager. My curiosity kept me going to the end as I wanted to call you out on a few issues but they were answered soon enough. I'm still pondering how a song is played silently on the radio? Good stuff, nice reveal.

I impressed myself by calling the setup early. (Do I get a bonus star?)

This is one of my faves. Great take on a recent, ongoing event.

Suggestion: dialogue line beginning with "Ground Control" feels stronger without the words "Ground Control."

You got a laugh out of me. I really enjoyed that.

Had an idea where it was heading, but didn’t matter.

Nice job - well written and topical - kudos

This was great. Enjoyed every bit of it.

Just the right touches for this one.

The surprise at the end works only for readers. On film, we would see the red Tesla in the first scene. Does that matter? I don't think so.

Road Trip

This reads as a commercial to me. As an entertaining story it's not connected properly yet; but as said, as a goofy hip auto commercial, it comes across qualified…
2

I enjoyed this one a lot.  Nicely done.  

Nice bit of comedy. Smart. Well done.

Having the words "Space Oddity" on the car's screen makes more sense than "plays silently."

This works as completely silly (so yeah, maybe as a car commercial), but anyone who could interact with a car in space would know that sound doesn't travel there, so why talk to the driver?

Cute.

There's a complete story here, and a nice reveal. I'm torn because I didn't get the chuckles that everyone else got. Solid job though and should get a nice rating.

Nothing much to add. Pretty good.

One of my favorites.  I enjoyed it a lot.  Solid 4, but is it really a 5???  Hmmmm

Dan

Writer,

Haha! Topical, funny. Not a bad effort.

Steve

Optioned :)

Quoted from Warren Optioned :)

Congrats!

Thanks, Yuvraj.

Congrats, Dude!

Thanks, mate.

It seems like there would be some pretty big hurdles (Tesla and a Bowie song) in trying to keep this true to the script, but I have nothing to lose optioning a one-pager that would likely never see the light of day anyway.

Ooh,  missed this one. Speaking for the both of us... congrats Warren. Not surprising. :)-A

Much appreciated, team.

Quoted from Warren Thanks, mate.It seems like there would be some pretty big hurdles (Tesla and a Bowie song) in trying to keep this true to the script, but I have nothing to lose optioning a one-pager that would likely never see the light of day anyway.

Must have been a nice surprise, Warren. Congrats!
Will be very interested to see what they do with this.

Quoted from LC Must have been a nice surprise, Warren. Congrats! Will be very interested to see what they do with this.

Thanks, Libby, always nice when something finds a home, but I also know how these things go so time will tell.