Print Topic

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Action / Adventure Scripts  /  Dark Knight: Triad
Posted by: Don, May 10th, 2018, 2:21pm
Dark Knight: Triad by John Staats - Short, Action, Adventure - Tables turn on Bruce Wayne when he questions the Arkham Asylum Psychologist about a new inmate. 10 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: SAC, May 11th, 2018, 12:24pm; Reply: 1
John,

Don’t normally read fan fic but I felt like reading this one. The writing is very impressive, I thought. The story itself reads more like a scene from something larger, which I have a feeling it is. I enjoyed the small details of the story, like Bruce fidgeting or shifting in his seat. Or just the back and forth between the two, as it really seemed like they were both sizing each other up.

If it is just a one off, it’s pretty good.

Steve
Posted by: JEStaats, May 11th, 2018, 3:26pm; Reply: 2
Hi Steve,

Yeah, funny thing about my writing lately. I've been writing episodic shorts to what could/should be something bigger (e.g. Nowhere to Hyde).

Since the Dark Knight/Batman is so well known, I thought I'd just do a little snippet of how a psychologist might perceive Bruce Wayne when he's on the threshold of becoming masked vigilante. It just so happens that the Doctor he visits is Harley Quinn before she goes off her own deep-end.

Thanks for the positive remarks and taking the chance on reading it. I know fan-fic, especially superheroes, is not everyone's bag these days. In fact, my two favorite genres anymore are DC characters and westerns.

Maybe I should do a 'Badman and Robbing' short in the wild west?! Warren would HATE that!

Thanks again,
John
Posted by: HyperMatt, May 11th, 2018, 4:31pm; Reply: 3
I remember seeing an Elseworlds comic that featured a Batman in the Old West. His horse was done up like a bat. Wish I'd bought that back in the day.
Posted by: SAC, May 11th, 2018, 4:51pm; Reply: 4
Yeah, man. I dug it. Toyed with the idea of doing a fan fic myself, a Lethal Weapon where Riggs and Murtaugh are older, but...

Again, good work.
Posted by: HyperMatt, May 11th, 2018, 5:00pm; Reply: 5

Quoted from HyperMatt
I remember seeing an Elseworlds comic that featured a Batman in the Old West. His horse was done up like a bat. Wish I'd bought that back in the day.


http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Batman:_The_Blue,_the_Grey,_and_the_Bat
Posted by: DanielW, May 17th, 2018, 12:58am; Reply: 6
John,

Very entertaining.

Daniel.
Posted by: Warren, May 17th, 2018, 6:38pm; Reply: 7
Hi John,

Gave this a read.

The descriptive writing on the first few pages is great, paints a really nice picture.

Dialogue was great, bordering on OTN a few times but not so bad that it affected the read in any way.

I enjoyed it.


Quoted Text
Maybe I should do a 'Badman and Robbing' short in the wild west?! Warren would HATE that!


Yes, yes I would, but I actually read a full western feature a few weeks ago and kind of enjoyed it so who knows.

All the best.
Print page generated: April 20th, 2024, 3:20am