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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Short Dramedy Scripts / A Day in the Life of a Bike Messenger
Posted by: Don, July 23rd, 2018, 9:57am
A day in the life of a bike messenger by Fausto Lucignani - Short, Dramedy - A bike messenger juggles the deadly traffic of Manhattan, his duty to make timely deliveries to his disparate customers and the need to bolster his finances. 7 pages
production: Inexpensive production. Four actors. Internal and external locations. Ability to ride a bike. - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
Posted by: jayrex, July 23rd, 2018, 11:49am; Reply: 1
Just gave this a quick read.
It�s not quite the payoff I was expecting.
I do question why the messenger would know the contents for the first delivery. And be invited in. Also why he�d give his name. I can�t imagine any other delivery person would give their name.
It�s fairly quick to read. Just needs some work for a payoff.
Edit: hmmm I skimmed over the title...
Posted by: Fausto, July 28th, 2018, 1:52pm; Reply: 2
Hi JayRex,
thank you for reading my script. In the first delivery, the messenger knew about the content of the package because it was a medicine from the doc and he had to deliver it to that old person.
Same messengers give their names, some don't. Usually, when they give their names they establish a friendly relationship that eventually translates into a tip. The old lady wanted to tip but he refused because she was poor and old. I will work on the script. In my view, it has good potential for expansion.
My best,
Fausto
P.S. Please say hi to Mrs. May for me.
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