The Umbra by Ian - Short, Horror - The umbra centres on a group of dysfunctional teens who must learn to overcome their flaws in order to escape a forest inhabited by an mysterious assailant. 13 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

The script had a nice sense of suspense throughout, you use the creepy environment of the forest effectively. The open ending seems appropriate for this type of story.

But the formatting issues are highly distracting. You need to take a look at this and do it properly, especially the dialog. Double spacing all over, and at least in one section you did not add a slugline. Make sure characters name in dialog is centred, it was all over the place.

CUT TO: is redundant. Too many camera angels maybe. Has a shooting script quality. Maybe you plan to film it yourself?
The ‘We see’ tool I think is fine used in the right places, but I feel you overuse it, as you do the ‘beat’ tool. And do you have to caps so many actions? (e.g. ‘Oscar GAPES ahead’) I know a lot of writers use it but I think it is redundant a lot of the time.

I had to google idgaf; you should have had this acronym in caps, I thought it was a country.  
You call the creature the Umbra, but the way it is written, I don’t think a viewer would get that.

- Do we really need to state Sam is our main protagonist? The reader should be able to figure it out.
- What is E.W.S. ?
- Strolling down beaten path should be in action description, not parenthesis.