I would like to show a series of images, and keeping with the pattern up to that point in the script, I'd like to use a SUPER to indicate the time and location. This is to show that the vignettes in the story are examples of a larger phenomenon.

A SUPER typically appears after a block or two of action, but this montage only has one block of action per shot.

Would it be

Quoted Text INT/EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - OPTION 1 MONTAGE A series of brief but disturbing images. - Something bad happens in a hospital. SUPER: Chicago, Illinois - 1957 - Something bad happens at a bus stop. SUPER: Newark, New Jersey - 1968 - Something bad happens in an airplane. SUPER: Caribbean Sea - 1974 - Something bad happens in a field hospital. SUPER: Kikwit, Zaire - 1995 - Something bad happens on a street corner. SUPER: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - 2006

or

Quoted Text INT/EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - OPTION 2 MONTAGE A series of brief but disturbing images. - SUPER: Chicago, Illinois - 1957 Something bad happens in a hospital. - SUPER: Newark, New Jersey - 1968 Something bad happens at a bus stop. - SUPER: Caribbean Sea - 1974 Something bad happens in an airplane. - SUPER: Kikwit, Zaire - 1995 Something bad happens in a field hospital. - SUPER: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - 2006 Something bad happens on a street corner.

or something else?

Maybe limit the number of locations to 3 and have a character VO explain how they�re connectted? After the third, I think the reader would know what’s the pattern.

But I�ll go with the second since the audience would need to know where they�re at. Scene heading, super, and then description.

Gabe

Thanks, Gabe. For now, I have it like this:

Quoted Text INT/EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - MISHAPS MONTAGE A series of brief but disturbing images. 1. SUPER: Chicago, Illinois - 1957 Something bad happens in a hospital. 2. SUPER: Newark, New Jersey - 1968 Something bad happens at a bus stop. 3. SUPER: Caribbean Sea - 1974 Something bad happens in an airplane. 4. SUPER: Kikwit, Zaire - 1995 Something bad happens in a field hospital. 5. SUPER: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - 2006 Something bad happens on a street corner.

The numbers should make it clear when the jumps actually occur. For consistency, I went back and numbered the scenelets in a different montage earlier in the same script.

Hmm.

Super by definition means Superimposed. So in my mind it would be:

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

Something bad is happening.

SUPER: Chicago, Illinois - 1957

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT

Something bad is happening.

SUPER: Newark, New Jersey - 1968

And so on.

However - clarity is king and as long as a reader understands it - you're good

Thanks, both of you.

The catch is that this needs to be formatted as a montage to get across that these are brief snippets.

Quoted from eldave1 However - clarity is king and as long as a reader understands it - you're good

This breaks the rule that the SUPER always comes after a bit of action, but there was no reasonable way to split each scenelet's action in two.

Chalk it up to breaking a rule with a purpose in mind.

Quoted from FrankM Thanks, both of you. The catch is that this needs to be formatted as a montage to get across that these are brief snippets. This breaks the rule that the SUPER always comes after a bit of action, but there was no reasonable way to split each scenelet's action in two. Chalk it up to breaking a rule with a purpose in mind.

Good enough for me

The reason that a SUPER follows some sort of action/description is merely because (in theory) the actual SUPER is "overlayed" onto a scene...of something happening, as opposed to a blank or black screen.

Sometimes, even though the "shot" or "scene" is only a few seconds in film time, it can appear to be longer, based on how it's formatted in the written script.

Personally, I'd do it the way it should be, as in proper formatting, with the SUPER following and action/description line...even in a montage or series of shots.

Quoted from Dreamscale Personally, I'd do it the way it should be, as in proper formatting, with the SUPER following and action/description line...even in a montage or series of shots.

It's an easy enough change (just some cutting and pasting) depending on the feedback the script gets. Numbering the shots basically fixed the What-does-this-SUPER-superimpose-over? question.

Hey bro, just want to tell you that you should listen to Jeff and Dave here.

especially keep the numbers out imo, since a script isn't an excel document. Also, this EXT/INT stuff wasn't mine since ever...

Quoted from PrussianMosby Hey bro, just want to tell you that you should listen to Jeff and Dave here. especially keep the numbers out imo, since a script isn't an excel document. Also, this EXT/INT stuff wasn't mine since ever...

I'm definitely leaning toward butting the action before the SUPER again. For the montage format, I've seen three "standard" formats.

INT/EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - MISHAPS MONTAGE

- Scenelet.

- Scenelet.

- Scenelet.

INT/EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - MISHAPS MONTAGE

-- Scenelet.

-- Scenelet.

-- Scenelet.

INT/EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - MISHAPS MONTAGE

1. Scenelet.

2. Scenelet.

3. Scenelet.

It's not obvious from my examples, but the reason I was hesitant to put the action first was that these action blocks could be four lines long, and the whole time the reader is in Limbo as to the location. By the time the reader learns the location, the action has moved elsewhere.

With a lot of spare time, I might be able to split the action into two logical bits, but the 7WC deadline is looming :)

If you believe in it, then do it.

As said, I hardly would suggest to act like Dave and Jeff said.

It just looks technical as it is. And imo we screenwiters still work in a field of literature and esthetics.

So, one question is: Is this smooth? Soft? Ongoing? Story?

To me, your approach is artifical and cold from a reader's perspective. But you're king, as said. I won't try to convince you

You’ll see it in context when the 7WC scripts post, then I’ll ask how best to get it to fit in with the surrounding story. In a nutshell, it’s a montage during the wraparound indicating that the four vignettes are typical of a larger class of events.

Okay. Just hope you recognize what I want to say about a continous running text and its reception. It should be organic and smooth.

This is almost the same as an answer I gave in another thread. With certain timelines especially, it's very easy to provide visual clues as to the timeline. Certain songs on a radio, maybe the presenter reveals the number one song in the third week of January 1968. Lots and lots of ways to do this in a stylish rather than technical way.

Try to be creative. Don't copy what you've seen done before... or, try not to, anyway.

I've heard it said that you can have too many montages in a film but that's bullshit; you can never have too many montages!

Quoted from Pleb I've heard it said that you can have too many montages in a film but that's bullshit; you can never have too many montages!

Of course!

In case anyone's curious, the montage in question is on page 60 here.

Checked it out - it's clear - there is some stuff you don't need IMO.

Here's w hat you have:

Quoted Text INT/EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - MISHAPS MONTAGE A series of brief images related to mishaps near Glazier and Artisan items, but none of them implicating the manufacturer with any liability. 1. A glass I.V. bottle hangs beside a hospital bed. A label in large block letters reads “Keep out of direct sunlight.” The bottle is, of course, bathed in sunlight from the window. TIME-LAPSE: the drug discolors as it drips into the patient. SUPER: Chicago, Illinois - 1957 2. A commercial building’s basement window along a city street has “Help Me!” written on the inside in lipstick, right next to an empty bus shelter. A bus pulls up, splashing mud all over the window. Several RIDERS disembark from the bus, but none sees the mud-covered message. SUPER: Newark, New Jersey - 1968 3. A team of HIJACKERS (20s) train pistols on the PASSENGERS and CREW of a commercial jet. One Passenger knocks over a paperback book, and a jittery Hijacker SHOOTS out a glass window. Chaos erupts within the cabin, and the pilots start an emergency dive from which they probably won’t recover. SUPER: Caribbean Sea - 1974 4. VOLUNTEER (18) cleans a testing table in a tropical field hospital. The bare skin above his glove touches Ebolainfected blood that seeped all the way up a glass pipette. SUPER: Kikwit, Zaire - 1995 5. MOTHER (26) pushes a baby carriage, stops at a busy street corner. She glances up at the “Don’t Walk” sign during an ebb in the traffic, then tends to her fussy baby. The light behind “Don’t” fizzles out, leaving just an orange “Walk” illuminated. Mother pushes the carriage into the crosswalk, followed by HONK and BRAKES.

MONTAGE - SERIES OF MISHAPS

1)  A glass I.V. bottle hangs beside a hospital bed. A label
in large block letters reads “Keep out of direct sunlight.”

SUPER: Chicago, Illinois - 1957

The bottle is, of course, bathed in sunlight from the window.
The drug discolors as it drips into the patient.

2)  A commercial building’s basement window along a city
street has “Help Me!” written on the inside in lipstick,
right next to an empty bus shelter.

SUPER: Newark, New Jersey - 1968

A bus pulls up, splashing mud all over the window.

Several RIDERS disembark from the
bus, but none sees the mud-covered message.

3) A team of HIJACKERS (20s) train pistols on the PASSENGERS
and CREW of a commercial jet.

SUPER: Caribbean Sea - 1974

One Passenger knocks over a paperback book, and a jittery Hijacker SHOOTS out a glass
window.

Chaos erupts within the cabin, and the pilots start
an emergency dive from which they probably won’t recover.

4) A VOLUNTEER (18) cleans a testing table in a tropical field
hospital. The bare skin above his glove touches

SUPER: Kikwit, Zaire - 1995

Ebola infected blood that seeped all the way up a glass pipette.

5) MOTHER (26) pushes a baby carriage, stops at a busy street
corner. She glances up at the “Don’t Walk” sign during an ebb
in the traffic, then tends to her fussy baby.

The light behind “Don’t” fizzles out, leaving just an orange “Walk”
illuminated. Mother pushes the carriage into the crosswalk,
followed by HONK and BRAKES.


Basically, I didn't think you needed the opening explanation and I like the SUPER in the middle of the action rather than at the end so the reader is not confused as to which one it belongs to. But I understood what you wrote - so it may be just fine as is.

Thanks, that is an improvement. I see that you even found a way to include an
orphan.

:)

Quoted from FrankM Thanks, that is an improvement. I see that you even found a way to include an orphan. :)

Orphans are essential to any good montage