Bob's Burgers: The Space Next Door by Clark Ratliff - Series, Comedy - When Bob considers expanding, it is without his family. 36 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

Clark - you're not adhering to the most basic format/rules. Just from the first 1/4 of the opening page.

Quoted Text From opening credits a van and two men get out to take the sign off the space next door.

You need a scene heading. MEN should be capped and some description would be good.

Quoted Text INT. BOB’S BURGERS

Need DAY or NIGHT at the and of the header.

Some description of this place needed.

Quoted Text Linda has her face pressed up against their store window looking next door.

Character intros need to be CAPPED - character needs an age/description.

Real basic stuff - read a few scripts. Google a bit (e.g., scene headings)

Thanks. I'm still trying to learn all the correct ways. My hopes in posting is to find a collaborator. I have an alphabet of learning disabilities to where I may never be perfect, so I'm hoping to find someone who 'completes me'. This work is what I would bring to the table and hopefully the right person can take what I have and help me shape it to be right. I'm open to feed back and the overall if you like it or not with warts and all so to speak.    

Also, I'm working on a Fantastic Four script. I know we can't post here till it's done. I'd love a chance to share it with anyone and get feedback and a read. Does anyone know of sites you can post unfinished works? I knew of a couple a few years ago but they seem to have ended.

Quoted from Clark Also, I'm working on a Fantastic Four script. I know we can't post here till it's done. I'd love a chance to share it with anyone and get feedback and a read. Does anyone know of sites you can post unfinished works? I knew of a couple a few years ago but they seem to have ended.

I am not aware of any sites that serve that purpose.

You may find some valuable information in the screenwriting class thread on this board.

Quoted from Clark Also, I'm working on a Fantastic Four script. I know we can't post here till it's done. I'd love a chance to share it with anyone and get feedback and a read. Does anyone know of sites you can post unfinished works? I knew of a couple a few years ago but they seem to have ended.

You can post it here in the Work in Progess section.