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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  Ages and digestion
Posted by: The Dark Horse, January 27th, 2019, 6:34am
I have a 10 page scene where a character ages...

With each mini-scene, I've put John (age 9), John (now 18), John (age 22), John (25, clean shaven), John (27, smoother and more confident).

Admittedly, this doesn't bother me too much but as a script reader can only digest so much - I'm not sure how redundant or necessary it is. (Imagine if the exact ages were put in Benjamin Button or J. Edger. It would slow the read considerably.)

Admittedly, I am leaning towards keeping them as it does somewhat show the passing of time (the theme of the piece). I want to show this boy growing into a man. A good solid number gives you a good idea of where he's at.

And yeah, I didn't bother with Young John or Teen John. It seems more consistent and quicker to do ages.

Just curious to get some thoughts.
Posted by: FrankM, January 27th, 2019, 1:33pm; Reply: 1
I did something very similar in a brief growing-up montage, which I'll tack onto the end for reference in case you're curious.

But what caught my eye was


Quoted from The Dark Horse
I have a 10 page scene where a character ages...


Does this really belong as a single scene? Even if all the vignettes are in the exact same place, the significant activity and separation in time probably deserve distinct slugs. Ten pages seem really long for a montage or series-of-shots.

Here's that brief montage. In keeping with screenwriting norms, no new characters get introduced in the middle of a montage, which is why you don't see the baby. "Warrick" and "Treva" are Holly's adoptive parents.

Quoted Text
EXT/INT. MONTAGE - GLENWOOD FARM/GLENWOOD VILLAGE - DAY

- Holly (5) shadows Treva gathering eggs as Warrick uses a horse-drawn plow in the fields nearby. She follows Treva to the farmhouse, slowly carrying a tiny basket of eggs.

- Holly (7) kicks a ball along with about a dozen other children ranging in age from 5 to 15. The game probably has rules, but no one would know by watching.

- Holly (9) practices on a simple flute as Treva plays a small wooden harp.

- Holly (11) works the bellows as Warrick pounds a red-hot horseshoe back into shape. He motions her over to take the hammer. She puts her hair in the bun that her Governess always had, then tucks her sprig of holly at the base of it.

- Holly (13) has her hair in the bun again as she cooks eggs and bacon. Holly lets her hair drop to her shoulders before she serves the meal to a seated and very pregnant Treva.

- Holly (15) plays the flute in a small band at a rustic shindig. No one cares that half a dozen dogs are jumping amongst the dancing townsfolk. A little reddish-brown puppy jumps at Holly’s feet as she plays.

- Holly (17) pulls hard to get a new coulter knife in place for the plow. Once in position, she ties it in place with a rope her dog was holding in his mouth.

END MONTAGE


...we next see her at 19 in a distinct scene. It's entirely possible that the director would have the montage tune continue into the next scene and trail off. The "baby" is now 6 years old and appears in the scene.
Posted by: The Dark Horse, January 27th, 2019, 2:17pm; Reply: 2
Yeah. Probably not 'scene'. But there's a good 10 pages dedicating to growing up. It's not a montage or series of shots as some of these mini-scenes have montages. I guess perhaps, it's a "growing up sequence".

Your montage works because of the ages. There's no way you could get rid of them. With mine, I put up the year it takes place too.

Hmm. I think I'll keep my ages.

Anyways,
Thanks for the quick reply
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