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Quoted Text OLEG You know we were never friends, right? |
Quoted Text JOHN Because you love chess. You would never waste a good game. |
Quoted Text JOHN He's my grandson, Michael. For the last month, we've been visiting one doctor after another because I suspect he may have "special abilities". |
Quoted Text JOHN (CONT'D) How are you? I heard your health isn't doing so good... |
Quoted Text OLEG I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm no longer what I used to be. I have a brain tumor. |
Quoted Text You've got some cool stuff going on here. Spies, magic abilities, an interesting twist at the end. The world building was getting going, the twist opens up a lot of possibilities, kinda felt like it was just getting started. Maybe the start of something larger? I liked the intensity of the chess game matching their argument. |
Quoted Text A few things that I think are really helpful to train yourself on dialogue: 1)Get into a scene as late as possible, leave as early as possible. 2)Generally, less is more with dialogue. Sometimes, an action line can express the same thing. A furtive glance, a blush of the cheeks, can speak volumes. 3)Be subtle, build subtext. |
Quoted Text If you don't like me writing out scenes of dialogue lemme know |
Quoted from Philostrate As a reader I love subtext, but as a writer sometimes I find it complicated to tackle. I’ll be happy to return the read so, if you want me to read something of yours, hit me up. |
Quoted from MarkItZero No worries, man. I have trouble with it too. You're doing great. Some of this stuff will come down the road. You're just starting out and you're improving greatly... keep at it! Most important thing is just keep reading and writing. |
Quoted from MarkItZero No need for a return read right now, thanks though. |