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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Horror  /  The House of Skin and Bone
Posted by: Don, May 10th, 2019, 4:59pm
The House of Skin and Bone by Mike W. Rogers - Short, Horror - When a platoon of Marines burn a shack built from human bones to the ground, they will have till sunrise to rebuild the house or die gruesome deaths from a witches curse. 20 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: stevemiles, May 12th, 2019, 8:27am; Reply: 1
Mike,

I took a look at this.  I'm on board with the idea - horror works well against the backdrop of Vietnam and the oppressive jungle setting.  Bold choice for a short given the budget you'd need to pull it off.  Is this testing the waters for a feature or if this is it?  Wondering before posting further.

Steve
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), May 12th, 2019, 10:12am; Reply: 2
Please reread your logline and fix the mistakes.

I won't even open this up, based on the logline, as have a pretty good idea how riddled with errors the actual script will be.
Posted by: Arundel, May 14th, 2019, 8:23pm; Reply: 3
Reminded me of a gonzo-style Asian horror film. Liked all the characters. Named well. Based on any existing legend?  
Posted by: eldave1, May 14th, 2019, 8:31pm; Reply: 4
I think this is a pretty solid effort - not my normal cup of tea - but twas a nice fast pace.
Posted by: Penoyer79, May 15th, 2019, 1:16am; Reply: 5
It ended how i figured it would after the first few pages. So I think predictability is your weakness here.
To me the story needs to lead to something else... a twist or a hookline... the build up to a well designed and carefully woven bombshell to bring it all together.

just my opinion


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