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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Radio and Stage Plays  /  Sometimes People Love You and You Feel Sad
Posted by: Don, May 17th, 2019, 3:49pm
Sometimes People Love You and You Feel Sad by Creed Kat - Play, Drama - Strangers gather in a room and tell the walls what's eating at them. 4 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: Arundel, May 20th, 2019, 12:19am; Reply: 1
Hooked me with the title. Interesting premise, not sure if this is a work in progress of completed. A few spelling errors in the text and one you introduce character #3 twice instead of #2 and #3 when they begin to sit down.

I don't know what the intent is for this but it is a good exercise in dialog. One rule which I am guilty of breaking myself is you say that #1 is speaking about her ex and #3 is talking about his decision to become an artist. There's no way a viewer could really understand this just by the descriptions on the page. It has to be shown. But with wardrobe and perhaps that could be conveyed.

Your chosen medium says "Play," and it would probably work that way.
Posted by: XM, May 20th, 2019, 12:06pm; Reply: 2
Thank you for the feedback :) And with regards to the characters descriptions my intention is for it to come through in wardrobe. But on paper (the script) maybe I should  make it more clear.
Posted by: SAC, May 21st, 2019, 7:23am; Reply: 3
It’s hard to feel any way for characters that are names #1, #2 etc. and no ages. I’d rethink that decision even if it means another page or two. The reader needs a little more to go on and your characters are so important.
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