Round 2 Topic & Discussion Thread.

Okay, I know a lot of people are going to be asking questions, so I'll try to think of all of them here and beat them to the punch.

1.  Here in the U.S., we think of sewers as those big (or small) pipes running underground carrying all sorts of foul things, primarily human waste and other nasty things.  I take it this is what you're shooting for, and not something in a sewage treatment plant or above ground drainage systems.  The reason I ask is that each country has their own system, and some, none at all (or very primitive).

2. I take the majority of the action (comedy) needs to take place in the sewer or be integral to the story, much like the whistle has to be integral to the story.  But other parts of the story can take place outside the sewer as well.

3.  In all parts of the challenge, the page limit is still 5 pages.

4.  Comedy has to be the primary driving force of the script, but other elements, like drama, can be a part of the script as well?  Like a dramedy?

Anything else I'm missing?

Gary

Sean... which one of the possessed bobbleheads gave you this diabolical idea?

It must be destroyed!

(Quite the challenge. I have no idea what I’ll do with it yet.)

Quoted from Gary in Houston

1. I'm willing to concede that certain countries have certain ways of doing things. As long as the location (or its equivalent) is met, or attempted, it is acceptable.

2. The entire script is not confined to the sewer if you don't want, but a good portion should be.

3. 5 pages in all rounds.

4. Of course. The script should have a comedic slant, but no comedy in history has ever been 100% comedy.

Quoted from FrankM

Sean... which one of the possessed bobbleheads gave you this diabolical idea?

It must be destroyed!

(Quite the challenge. I have no idea what I’ll do with it yet.)

Frank, I don't want to hear it. This one is the second-easiest round I set up here. If you can't do this, you're dead in rounds 4 and 5. =)

Sewer can't mean a sewer pipe.

I think he means underground is the "sewers" Correct?

Quoted from Dreamscale

Sewer can't mean a sewer pipe.

I think he means underground is the "sewers" Correct?

Yes.

Crap. And I don't mean the sewer content.

The perfect mix of sweet tea vodka, moonshine, Jager, and Blue Dream has helped me already have my entry pre-laid out in my noggin.

YES! I will make each new week tie into the last week. This is going ot be 5.0 material.

Warren may even like it! I hope,,,

Lol it’s nearly 2pm Sat arve here the owc and this tourney are always announced at this time for me and most other Aussies I work tonight 5pm till 10 pm so I always think about possible shit to write lol and run ideas off my workmates I completely ignored their ideas for Rd 1 and I wrote a ripper script lol

This is tricky despite it being my natural comedy genre but it’s a good challenge!

Quoted from stevie

Lol it’s nearly 2pm Sat arve here and my workmates ripped my arse and I completely ignored them lol

Good challenge for my arse, but it can take it!

Stevie, Bro...we don't need to know this stuff. C'mon, Man!!!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Lol thanks mate

Good pisser chance here too

A group of amateur writers get lost in a sewer Their only hope of survival is a whistle hidden in Jeff’s arse Who will risk all to retrieve it? Dustin? Wazza? Or willl Blondie himself save the day?

Title is Simply Shit

Quoted from Dreamscale

Sewer can't mean a sewer pipe.

I think he means underground is the "sewers" Correct?

Wait, we can’t set the story inside a person who sews? ;D

This round is going to take “pisser” entries to a whole new level.

lol Frank we should do a collab

You're an evil, evil man!

Quoted from stevie

lol Frank we should do a collab

DON'T DO IT, FRANK!!!!!!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Lol. I want to get into your head, Sean. What's going on in there... sewer? Oh I have a friend whose last name was Sewer. She was my house agent. Can it be that Sewer?

I'm seeing a lot more dishonesty than usual in the reviews this time around. Anyone else picking that up?

Remember, comedy is subjective... that you didn't find it funny is most likely because you didn't want to. Also, just because you don't find it funny doesn't make it not a comedy. It just makes you unappreciative. It's a subtle difference... but one that may affect scoring.

Vomit draft completed.

Fecking comedy....

I like it!

I might find Jeff's comedy ideas whilst I'm down there.

The sewer is cool, but the whistle is killing me... Hopefully inspiration will strike

Is it an actual whistle or the ability to whistle?

Quoted from khamanna

Lol. I want to get into your head, Sean. What's going on in there... sewer? Oh I have a friend whose last name was Sewer. She was my house agent. Can it be that Sewer?

You don't really want a glimpse in there. But, unfortunately, that Sewer will not count.

Quoted from jayrex

Is it an actual whistle or the ability to whistle?

An actual, physical whistle.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films

Vomit draft completed.

Now... including actual vomit.

You're killing me, Sean...

First bobble-heads, now a whistle and a sewer...

For me the comedy part is a problem. I can write a drama on that but not a comedy.

Quoted from khamanna

For me the comedy part is a problem. I can write a drama on that but not a comedy.

Just exaggerate everything. If you find it funny, make sure you leave it in in the second draft... because twice around things stop being funny. Don't be offended when 'reviewers' tell you it's not a comedy... wtf do they know? If you find it funny, it's comedy.

Quoted from khamanna

For me the comedy part is a problem. I can write a drama on that but not a comedy.

Kham, you wrote that great comedy about an eccentric young boy - I can't remember the title and it's not in your Sig but you made it high up in contests with that one and I remember your comedic flair.

I expect there will be a lot of scripts I don't find funny.

But I expect all the scripts will meet the genre criteria.

I'm going to spend a lot less time on this from this point forward. Other work is suffering. I'll still read every script though.

Quoted from leitskev

You're not writing for this one, Kevin?

Thanks for encouragement guys but the idea that came to me is very dramatic. It even made me feel sick in the stomach. I'll try to go with it and if not then not. There's no time for another idea.

Oh, I plan to, Khamanna, I'm sure I will. Just saying I won't be able to as much time into it. I'm working on a novel and it really suffered this past week.

And thanks for straightening me out on that script I misunderstood!

Comedies shouldn’t be edited too much One draft is enough If you read it back and it’s not that funny then scrap it and think of a new one

And timing is so vital even for a script that is just been read and not actually spoken.

(beat) is your friend

Quoted from stevie

Comedies shouldn’t be edited too much One draft is enough

Stevie, Stevie, Stevie... You're hurting my feelings when you say things like that. Why do you want to hurt my feelings?

Lol sorry Blondie ( I think) I only do one draft of all my scripts I handwrite then edit as I copy into the laptop Keeps it fresh

Quoted from stevie

Lol sorry Blondie ( I think) I only do one draft of all my scripts I handwrite then edit as I copy into the laptop Keeps it fresh

Ah... a treekiller.

Quoted from leitskev

Well, I'm glad your reread it. I'm def a fan of that one.

Quoted from khamanna

Well, I'm glad your reread it. I'm def a fan of that one.

It's so easy to miss things reading through so many stories. I am notorious for it. That's why I keep checking back on other peoples notes.

I hope someone does a riff on Ed Norton from the Honeymooners who worked in a sewer who'll be played in the reboot by Ed Norton the actor who's career has gone in one.

Is sewer interior or exterior?

Quoted from khamanna

Is sewer interior or exterior?

It's an indoor location.

Quoted from khamanna

Is sewer interior or exterior?

Might want to use INT/WEIMLP. “Interior, wrap equipment in multiple layers of plastic” ;)

Quoted from eldave1

I hope someone does a riff on Ed Norton from the Honeymooners who worked in a sewer who'll be played in the reboot by Ed Norton the actor who's career has gone in one.

Dave, you're killing me. Probably not too many peeps on here that remember that.

I'm on the third page and oh, there's a whistle!
It's good I'm coming here to read this thread.

Now where do we shove that one...

Quoted from JEStaats

Dave, you're killing me. Probably not too many peeps on here that remember that.

Twas a classic

I was kicking around a few ideas, coming back to my laptop every couple hours. Suddenly one of them evolved into what I thought was going to be very funny. And a fully developed story for 5 pages.

Then it hit me: I don't have a sewer or a whistle in this!

Back to the drawing board.

Is there a significant difference between a comedy and a pisser?

There's definitely more than a hint of piss in mine.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films

Is there a significant difference between a comedy and a pisser?

There's definitely more than a hint of piss in mine.

Sure. Comedies are intentional (most times) and pissers (good ones) are unintentional.

As long as that piss comes from the location...

That said, comedy is comedy.

To the non-comedy writers it's only manageable to hide their stuff. Go pisser or somewhere., just survive… imo

Man, I thought round 1 was tough. I've got a pretty crazy idea and I'm just gonna run with it. Apologies in advance, this is gonna get gross.

;D;D;D

I'm drawing a complete blank at this point, haven't even got a seed of an idea.

I'm thinking I might be out :/

I know I still have time, but damn this is a tough one.

Well I wrote something. And not going to force myself to change anything to fit the genre or what you people think constitutes a comedy.
I may rewrite Monday.

I've written a page and a half of shit.

Quoted from Gary in Houston

I've written a page and a half of shit.

Well...that's half the content. Ba-dum-dum.

I'm just warming up

I treated shit with respect to avoid a pisser

Quoted from khamanna

I treated shit with respect to avoid a pisser

Lol What!?

Simple. LOVE this week challenge.

Haven't efen thought about opening up my writing software, but I'm almost done in my head.

This is 5.0 materail, here, peeps. Please score appropriately!!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

My goal was to write a 2 pager this round. First draft clocks in at 9 pages. Lol. Fuck.

I have an idea.

It’s a terrible idea, but it’s mine.

Not quite done typing it up, but looks like five pages might just contain this thing.

Haha, Dream, haven't you thought about a sequel? --- I guess at least, it's title name heaven. Sink Two, revenge of the Shits or etc.. It'll be pretty vulgar.

Quoted from PrussianMosby

Haha, Dream, haven't you thought about a sequel? --- I guess at least, it's title name heaven. Sink Two, revenge of the Shiths or etc.. It'll be pretty vulgar.

I will be changing my title and logline as soon as week 1 voting is done, and yes, this will be a sequel to my 1st.

You think you know mine...you may be right. I don't know anyone's so far.

I tried to disguise my writing in week 1. In week 2, you will all be stumped...even Stumnpzian!

Quoted from Dreamscale

I will be changing my title and logline as soon as week 1 voting is done, and yes, this will be a sequel to my 1st.

You think you know mine...you may be right. I don't know anyone's so far.

Just a guess of course but I've noticed a style I could connect with you, yes. It's even the most memorable story of the round for me… so I hope I'm correct. Not saying that someone should write that kind of entertainment though. It's truly a testament of misbehave, haha

Phew, I think I'm done. Way too soon to submit though. I better let this one simmer overnight. At least until I sober up. Tanqueray and tonics tonight.

WWJD?

What would Jeff do? Damn the torpedoes!

But maybe I'll want to change my title. Or logline. Or font.

The five page limit when dialogue and characters are the main criteria is hard. Too hard imo. Dialogue uses so much space on the page.

Got mine under 5 pages. Holy Hell that was tough. I like what I've got. Definitely different than my usual.

I've got a strong feeling people will be both offended and disgusted by it. I blame Sean. ;D

Comedy doesn't mean dialogue-heavy. Just look at Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd. An inventive writer could use just one charcater, the whistle and the sewer. Minimal dialogue... if any needed at all.

No matter what you do... 50% of the writers here will not laugh once while reading. Many will not even crack a smile.

Quoted from Warren

I'm drawing a complete blank at this point, haven't even got a seed of an idea.

I'm thinking I might be out :/

I know I still have time, but damn this is a tough one.

Come on Warren, you can do it!

Get that thinking cap on. What different types of whistle are there? Different ways of getting into a sewer? Mix in another genre, Romcom - meet cute in a sewer. 50's horror parody - creature from the black sewer.

Get it written!

Quoted from DustinBowcot

Dialogue and Characters are 40% of the Criteria in the comp. Having minimal dialogue is risking it because even with the best will in the world, it's hard to give high scores for Dialogue if there isn't any,

I mean, none of this matters. It's just for fun. But you try to play up to the rules and the way they're laid out, there's an inherent bias towards wanting good dialogue, not just dialogue that works for the story.

Anyway, I'm done.

5 pages.

I'm done too.

Will wait to submit tonight/tomorrow.

Lol ironically my script isn’t as funny as my Rd 1 one.

The toughest part is keeping it to 5 pages Had to cut a lot of the funny stuff in this one without sacrificing the ‘story’ lol

Scar - it's quality of dialogue that's been scored, could technically get a 5 with just one killer word.

Quoted from Matthew Taylor

Actually just finished scribbling down an idea, I'll sleep on it and try get it into a script tomorrow.

I apologise in advance. It's not going to be my best work.

I was feeling kinda hesitant with this one. Now I'm loving the round. Can't wait to get going.

I've submitted mine just in case of PC failures.

I'm dry :(.

I could try to write a pisser, but I don't feel like it.

I'm away for the weekend and still have nothing... Ages to go though ;-)

Quoted from AnthonyCawood

Scar - it's quality of dialogue that's been scored, could technically get a 5 with just one killer word.

I get the theory, I'm just struggling to reconcile it with reality.

A script can be brilliant with either no dialogue, or almost completely dialogue. And everything in between.

So a script with zero dialogue is a 5 basically by default because there's no way of determining otherwise. And a script with a lot of brilliantly constructed dialogue is a 5.

What if the silent script doesn't quite work, do we take points just off the story, or dialogue as well? How do you determine if the problem was a weakness in structure and visuals(story) or in the absence of dialogue explaining things?

What about a very good script that requires minimal dialogue, but that minimal dialogue is fairly poor? Is that a 1? Should they just have cut the few lines to get the default 5 if there's no dialogue at all?

I'm overthinking things, I'm just finding it all a bit hard to score tbh. ;D

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films

So a script with zero dialogue is a 5 basically by default because there's no way of determining otherwise. And a script with a lot of brilliantly constructed dialogue is a 5.

This is my method (or would be, if I were taking part). A script with no dialogue doesn't get a 5 by default. It gets a 5 if the dialogue weren't necessary. If you add more, just to add it, it'll feel superfluous and that'll probably lower your score in other people's eyes.

So there's a leaderboard, just not one we can see, correct? Or will we see one before the tournament ends?

I see your point on the extreme of there being no dialogue. How do you score that? As Mr Blonde said, if the story works fine without dialogue then that should be a 5. If there are parts you feel are weak and let down by there being no dialogue then take points off. It's really up the individual reviewer how they score that.

Can a comedy story work in 5 pages? Of course it can. It doesn't need to be dialogue or character heavy, it simply needs to work well. That's the hard part. You're overthinking this.

I have to hand it to all of you. It's very, very easy me sitting here writing this down. I don't have to do it. It's a nice exercise... but I prefer to be paid for that kind of stress.

Quoted from Gary in Houston

So there's a leaderboard, just not one we can see, correct? Or will we see one before the tournament ends?

I'll post up the leaderboard after voting for round 1 ends. It will be visible for everyone, but the scores themselves won't be posted until it's over.

Phew! Submitted. Time to get on with my day.

Oh, joy, people are writing for this!

I finished, too. I don't guarantee that you'll understand the story though. But if you do it's beautiful. One of the better writers would make you but I wrote it the way God put it on my heart. He puts I write, there's nothing more to it!
I wish these two days went by faster as I'm curious for the reactions.

Hey, for one of those we need to agree and name one of the characters Sean! I would have done it for this one but can't do it alone.

Oh, and I'm very curious to see what you came up with. See your shitty scripts in two days.

I have a barebones idea now. No opportunity to write though. Hopefully I can start it later today and see how it fleshes out. This one is tough for sure.

Quoted from ReneC

This one is tough for sure.

I promise everyone should have a nice, easy round next week. If it's not, I'm really going to be worried for you guys in weeks 4 and 5.

Quoted from khamanna

Hey, for one of those we need to agree and name one of the characters Sean! I would have done it for this one but can't do it alone.

You inspired me. That would have been cute. Maybe each writer would be assigned a SS Peep as a main character.

               TO DREAMSCALE WITH LOVE

FADE IN:

INT. MUNICIPAL WATER SEWER - NIGHT

Darker than an OWC challenge set in a cave.

DREAMSCALE (45?), beer belly, the epitome of gender-neutral, paces along the concrete walkway alongside the river of piss and shit.

ELDAVE (63), the last drops of testosterone left his body a decade ago, lumbers behind him. You can just tell he's a know it all type with skin that is nearly opaque. He's essentially unfilmable.

Dreamscale stops, bends over - retrieves a bound, sewage-stained, script from the concrete walkway.  He takes a sniff - then opens the script.

DREAMSCALE
Shit!

ELDAVE
What'd you expect? We're in a sewer.

DREAMSCALE
Not the smell. The writing.
(holds up script)
First page. Two orphans!

ELDAVE1
And...?

Dreamscale stops - thumps Dave on the chest.

DREAMSCALE
Two lines per page. That means two-hundred lines per script.
That means it's one-hundred and twenty pages long when it
could have easily been one hundred and ten.
(thumps his chest)
You get me, bro?

Dave just stands there - blinks his eyes. Crickets.

Dreamscale resumes his walk as he reads the script.

Eldave follows behind.

DREAMSCALE
Jesus Christ! Plus two wrylies on page three.
(points at water)
It belongs in the sewer.

Eldave stays in place as Dreamscale marches on. The script
he tossed slowly floats back towards Eldave.

Through the murky water we see the blurry title: "CASA BLANCA."

DREAMSCALE (O.S)
(calling back)
Probably filled with a bunch of We sees and camera
directions too.

A whistle SQUEALS in the distance.

A manhole cover is removed, illuminating the sewer.
Dreamscale points to the opening.

DREAMSCALE
I'm out!

Quoted from eldave1

INT. MUNICIPAL WATER SEWER - NIGHT

Darker than an OWC challenge set in a cave.

DREAMSCALE (45?), beer belly, the epitome of gender-neutral, paces along the concrete walkway alongside the river of piss and shit.

ELDAVE (63), the last drops of testosterone left his body a decade ago, lumbers behind him. You can tell he'd rather be anywhere else in the world.

Dreamscale stops, bends over - retrieves a bound, sewage-stained, script from the concrete walkway.  He takes a sniff - then opens the script.

DREAMSCALE
Shit!

ELDAVE
What'd you expect? We're in a sewer.

DREAMSCALE
Not the smell. The writing.
(holds up script)
First page. Two orphans!

ELDAVE1
And...?

Dreamscale stops - thumps Dave on the chest.

DREAMSCALE
Two lines per page. That means two-hundred lines per script.
That means it's one-hundred and twenty pages long when it
could have easily been one hundred and ten.
(thumps his chest)
You get me, bro?

Dave just stands there - blinks his eyes. Crickets.

Dreamscale resumes his walk as he reads the script.

Eldave follows behind.

DREAMSCALE
Jesus Christ! Plus two wrylies on page three.
(points at water)
It belongs in the sewer.

Eldave stays in place as Dreamscale marches on. The script
he tossed slowly floats back towards Eldave.

Through the murky water we see the blurry title: "CASA BLANCA."

DREAMSCALE (O.S)
(calling back)
Probably filled with a bunch of We sees and camera
directions too.

A whistle SQUEALS in the distance.

A manhole cover is removed, illuminating the sewer.
Dreamscale points to the opening.

DREAMSCALE
I'm out!

Very funny, Dave. Although easier than these guys have it as the character development is already done. Still though, this a nice little freestyle.

Lol, that sounds about right. Very good!

Quoted from eldave1

Maybe each writer would be assigned a SS Peep as a main character.

TO DREAMSCALE WITH LOVE

Lololol, Dave. This is very funny. I wonder how many will pick Jeff as one of the main SS characters. I think he will pick himself, too.

Quoted from DustinBowcot

Very funny, Dave. Although easier than these guys have it as the character development is already done. Still though, this a nice little freestyle.

Thanks -

Hope Jeff takes it as the homage it's intended to be.

I don't envy these writers - this is and looks like it will continue to be one whale of a challenge. Maybe the most difficult we've had given the time constraints.

Quoted from eldave1

I don't envy these writers - this is and looks like it will continue to be one whale of a challenge. Maybe the most difficult we've had given the time constraints.

Oh, believe me, if you people keep forcing me to come back and do this every year, this is going to be the way I punish you... Lol. =)

Fuuny, Dave, and thank you for the age you gave me! ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quoted from Dreamscale

Fuuny, Dave, and thank you for the age you gave me! ;D ;D ;D ;D

Just took a stab at it. Glad it was on the low side

;D ;D D;

I left the "double nickel" world last month.

Damn..how can I be so frickin' old? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quoted from Dreamscale

I tried to disguise my writing in week 1. In week 2, you will all be stumped...even Stumnpzian!

I finally read all of Round 1, some more closely than others. I’m thinking yours was the one with Billy Martin. In any case, I liked that one.

P.S. I’m out. Too much going on to comment or think up something for the sewer. Am enjoying Mr. Blonde’s Tournament, though. Great spectator sport. Hope he does it next year.

Quoted from Dreamscale

I left the "double nickel" world last month.

Damn..how can I be so frickin' old? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can assure you, it doesn't get any better

Quoted from eldave1

I can assure you, it doesn't get any better

Thanks, Brother. FUCK!!!!

Doing my beast not to go into the week 2 write with 3 hours to go...

SO...

I've been planning my script all day, while I drink heavily and lounge in the pool - 103 degrees here today. Pool is 85 - PERFECT!

I have my story and characters worked out and even names. One is named Warren.

I hope to write this early, so I don't go through what happened last Monday evening/night.

I'm shockingly very comfortable this time around.

Just finished mine. Also just finished punching myself violently in the head after re-reading it. You have permission to do the same, although your reviews may do the job instead.

Quoted from eldave1

Excellent work Dave. 5s all round :)

Just flipped open the laptop. 9:45 am, public holiday and I have no plans other than getting something down.

Surely I can make it happen in 12 hours. I have to submit today as I'm back at work tomorrow.

Man, I was super confident about my script last night as I was going to bed. Re-reading it now, this may be the worst thing I've ever written. ;D Can't wait to see what you guys come up with for this round. Gotta feeling there's gonna be a lot of weird stories this go around.

Quoted from Zack

This go around?

Have you seen the stories in round 1? :o

Finally got an idea, 27 hours left - off we go...

Three hours later and I have something resembling a script that somehow fits the most ridiculous criteria imaginable together.

I think this round isn't going to be kind to me but at least I have something to submit.

Going to have some lunch, let it settle for a bit, then come back and do my final edit.

At least it sounds like most people are struggling, I don't feel so alone :)

I have submitted my script for this round.

It stinks.

You have been warned.

I'm done, completely done. Polished the turd as much as I can.

And now I can't submit because of stupid Australian internet! (currently typing this on my phone) So frustrating.

Anyway, I'm definitely going to be in.

I just cranked mine out in under two hours. I don't know if it's the simplicity of it or the lightness of the tone but it flowed really easily. I kinda like it, which means it's probably not comedy, not a good story, and doesn't use a whistle or sewer properly.

I'll barely have time to polish it tomorrow so whatever it is, I'm stuck with it. But at least it's done!

Flowed really easily ;D

Finally submitted, not looking at it again until the hate starts rolling in.

I'm in this round. Yay!
Well, I say that now...

Congrats, Libby.

Mine is in, also.

Quoted from LC

I'm in this round. Yay!
Well, I say that now...

See you in the trenches.

:D
Well, that's a few of us!
And with 17hours to go.
Hubby said, write another one. Yeah, right. I don't think so. ::)

You guys always downplay your entries but manage to come up with gold... you're not fooling me.

I haven't started mine yet - I was hoping to get some time today but a finance meeting with the CEO has jam-packed my day. I'll try and pen it down in my lunch, I will lose some serious marks in this round lol

Quoted from Matthew Taylor

“You’re typing an awful lot into your laptop.”

“Just taking notes of the meeting.”

“And why do you keep giggling every time ‘Priority Number One’ and ‘Priority Number Two’ are mentioned?”

“Pffft! ‘Number Two...’”

Quoted from FrankM

Matt angrily jabs the backspace button on his laptop.

CEO
Matt, what are you doing?

Matt
Deleting all these shitty "notes" I've written.

CEO
well calm down, they're only notes.

MATT
Only notes? only notes!

Matt forcfully stands, knocking his chair back.
He points a finger at CEO.

MATT
Fuck you! you don't know the stress I'm under.

Matt storms out of the room.

Quoted from FrankM

I have submitted my script for this round.

It stinks.

You have been warned.

Quoted from Matthew Taylor

You guys always downplay your entries but manage to come up with gold... you're not fooling me.

By the way, this wasn’t some head-fake. Don’t open it in the latest version of Firefox if you’re sensitive to odors... :)

Well, this is going down the shitter... pun intended.

I had an idea running through my head all weekend, it would be fantastic I thought.

Just wrote the first 3 pages and it's utter gobshite - so tedious and not funny at all.

15 hours to formulate a new idea and get it down... *Cries into his hands*

Yey lots of sewer entries!

A good writer would probably check out a sewer before writing about one but not me. I dont even want to google. Its my sewer, I furnish it the way I like

I think we’re going to have a lot of crappy entries this time around.

Just realised that there shouldn’t be any DNS given to any script this round as they wil all be (well they fucking should be) comedies in some shape or form. Even if they aren’t that funny they will still be 100% meeting the criteria. I’m confident of that.

Nek minnit...

Quoted from stevie

there shouldn’t be any DNS given to any script this round

You'd be surprised.

Yeah, with comedy it could be a hundred percent DNS.

Quoted from khamanna

Yeah, with comedy it could be a hundred percent DNS.

Unless they forget the whistle!

Reread mine and rewrote some. I'm not going to open it again. Now it's your problem, not mine.

I actually asked my friend to read it. And he said that he could smell the feces. Which means I've done well!

My goal in these scripts is pretty simple: try to make the writing and storytelling enough that the reader wants to turn the page. Very hard to do.

I guess I kind of judge scripts with that somewhat in mind too. If the story doesn't fully grab me but the writing and story is clear enough that I can zip through, it's decent. If the story and writing is good enough that I really want to get all the way to the end, that's damn fine work.

Quoted from Warren

Excellent work Dave. 5s all round :)

Thanks, mate - although I risked a DNS for the whistle - very little importance in the story :)

Quoted from leitskev

I'd say that's a very good approach. I do something of the sort. Same as watching an actual movie. It's as good as your desire to continue watching.

Quoted from stevie

I DNS'd my own entry, and plan to again this week.

Good luck to you all - I would treat each other kindly on the comedy aspect. For my money - the most difficult of the genres.

Line I am most expected to see:

"Something smells funny"

Quoted from eldave1

Line I am most expected to see:

"Something smells funny"

This would be so OTN

Quoted from khamanna

This would be so OTN

IN the nose. Not on it.

Quoted from khamanna

This would be so OTN

Indeed :)

I’m just expecting shit jokes.

Quoted from jayrex

I’m just expecting shit jokes.

Or people playing shitball. You know, like snowball

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Sean scans the first round of entries on a laptop.

SEAN
My God, all of their minds are in the gutter.

A little ANGEL poofs into existence over Sean's left shoulder. A little DEVIL over the right.

ANGEL
Tsk, tsk. What are you going to do about this?

Sean looks up in thought.

SEAN
If that's where they want to go... push them further! Gutter... to sewer!

Devil fist-pumps in triumph.

There was so much whining about comedy in the last round I also wonder if anyone will dare say a script doesn't meet the genre.

Comedy is specific. It's about tone, tropes, surprise, setups and payoffs, callbacks, repetition, and humour, be it jokes or physical. Jokes are the most difficult, they're often culturally relevant or taste specific.

I was very forgiving for the fusion round. I only gave 4 scripts a didn't meet. This round I'm going to be looking for something that specifically fits the genre. It should be easy.

I'll laugh if the riffs coming up in this thread are the funnier than the entries. ;D

So how many jokes per a 5-pager will make it a comedy?

I just realized you can fart in a sewer and no one will notice

Quoted from khamanna

I just realized you can fart in a sewer and no one will notice

You forgot about the echo factor!

Quoted from khamanna

I just realized you can fart in a sewer and no one will notice

It might smell better.

What would be original would be to set a comedy inside a sewer and not have one joke about the shit or the smell.

Like, I had an idea about a marching band rehearsing in a sewer for the acoustics, but realized I couldn’t go a full page without making some reference to the surroundings, so I just abandoned it. Plus the idea was just ridiculous to begin with.

Quoted from JEStaats

You forgot about the echo factor!

You can always say it's fireworks from the outside

Quoted from Gary in Houston

You think it's ridiculous until someone like Wes Anderson films about it.

You know, not every sewer is for waste matter...but who can resist?

Quoted from ReneC

You know, not every sewer is for waste matter...but who can resist?

Yes, some are for weed smoking and listening to punk music. Others for long romantic walks. Away from jail or something.

Quoted from khamanna

Others for long romantic walks.

I can't think of anything more romantic than a nice walk through a disused sewer.

Did one this morning. Someone will probably say I didn't fit the criteria because there were no floating turds. Anyway, all about amusing ourselves. In the end I amused myself a little. Hopefully it's an easy enough read people can read it, score it, and forget it.

Quoted from leitskev

Breadcrumb!

Or at least... digested ex-breadcrumb! ;)

Quoted from leitskev

Did one this morning.

That made me laugh and for all the wrong reasons. Thanks to Sean I'm turning into an idiot at a lightspeed.

Sorry Kevin, I couldn't resist.

Lol, yeah, did one in the sewer. I decided to explore as part of the researching of this challenge. The alligators weren't too friendly and I found an old bobblehead fused with some doo doo.

OK, my idea and characters are ready, so I'm starting and hoping to be done well before my girlfriend gets home from work. This will be better for everyone involved...including all who read this.

Quoted from Dreamscale

OK, my idea and characters are ready, so I'm starting and hoping to be done well before my girlfriend gets home from work. This will be better for everyone involved...including all who read this.

You gonna get your girlfriend's approval before you submit? I'm curious what her reaction to your sewer comedy will be. ;D

I think Dave's spoof script about Jeff is much funnier than my actual script. But at least I'm in. I expect it will about as well received as my last flop!

I'm in, reminded my why I don't normally write comedy!

Ah well, hopefully the remaining rounds will be better.

Well, I hated my entry at first. Then, as I go through rewrites... I'm kind of liking it. But then, I kind of liked my first round entry... and, it's not doing all that well... so, I expect more of the same.

Survival. That's the goal right now. Get some points, stay in the game. Hope to hit on one of the five.

I got 3 scripts out of last year's challenge that I really like. 2 that could someday get made (if the right person finds them), 1 just for me. I'd be over the moon if I could match that this year.

I've never been so stressed about sewers and whistles *Pours himself another glass of port*

I finally had a half decent idea as I left work - I'm now 3 pages into the vomit draft but considering its nearly 10pm here I would rather be sleeping.

PKCardinal, I'm with you - This is now just survival

I wonder if we’ll have a full house for the second round?

Quoted from PKCardinal

Survival. That's the goal right now.

Yups, same here.

Just finished my vomit draft...

Let's go guys, we can do it! (says while scared as sewer shit)

I have resisted so many puns today.

Submitted. Please forgive me. ;D

Quoted from Zack

Submitted. Please forgive me. ;D

If it’s full of shit jokes, I’ll forgive you.

Geez, with all the fear and loathing of this round, I'm starting to feel pretty good about my entry. But, alas, I felt pretty good before the last round, too.

I'm tired and so I have submitted whatever it is I have. It's not too bad, I don't think... I never know with you people - You will either praise the effort or you will chase me from SS, never to return again... I can never tell.

I promise to be super nice to everyone in my reviews, because this was bloody tough! The first round had the freedom of genre which made it so much easier - but taking a sewer, and a whistle and trying to formulate a complete story in five pages... oh and by the way, make it funny... it nearly killed me!

Well done to everyone who submitted something - I look forward to seeing the story children your brains have birthed.

Quoted from Zack

You gonna get your girlfriend's approval before you submit? I'm curious what her reaction to your sewer comedy will be. ;D

Yes, I actually am going to. Oh God...why do I do this to myself?

Finished!

I like it...alot. That means, you guys will hate it...alot!

Now to go back and see what I actually wrote.

Well...Teri read it...didn't laugh once, handed me back the script, and said, "It's good...much better than your last one." I asked her if it was funny, cuz she didn't laugh once. She said, "yeah, it's funny, but I don't feel good. Good job."

So, I think that's actually high praise! HA! We'll soon see...

Quoted from Dreamscale

Yes, it is.

What boggles the mind is how you’ve subjected her to so many prior scripts that she hated, yet you two are still together.

From her point of view, it’s like dating someone whose hobby is blasting air horns in people’s ears.

Okay, I'm ready now.

And go... :)

Quoted from FrankM

Strangely, she actually really likes alot of my scripts. She seems to have a problem with graphic violence, nudity for the sake of it, and overt swearing and sexual references.

I tried to keep all to a minimum this time around, and with some clever editing, this thing could be PG 13...maybe. ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quoted from Dreamscale

Glad to hear that.

So, SS generally only hears about her reaction when it's hugely negative.

Though now I'm curious what "minimal graphic violence" looks like :)

Quoted from FrankM

Though now I'm curious what "minimal graphic violence" looks like :)

Well...that's a great question. I guess, like less than 6 seconds of graphic violence per every, like...uh...4 minutes and 30 seconds of runtime?

Yeah, that's minimal graphic violence...maybe, or kind of, in a way, right?

Quoted from Dreamscale

Yes, I think that's the standard for a TV-Y7 rating on broadcast. Have to keep it under four seconds if you want a TV-Y rating :)

Only 20 out of 25 writers took part in round one. I wonder how many will enter a script for round 2? My money says fewer will be in this round. Writing comedy is brutal.

Can people that didn’t write in round 1 participate in round 2?

Quoted from Zack

Only 20 out of 25 writers took part in round one. I wonder how many will enter a script for round 2? My money says fewer will be in this round. Writing comedy is brutal.

How do you know that, Zack?

Quoted from Kevin_L

Can people that didn’t write in round 1 participate in round 2?

Yes, someone who misses a round simply gets the minimum possible score (as if everyone gave that person's script a "1" in every category).

As for joining after round 1, that's up to Sean, but from previous comments I don't think he's open to that.

Quoted from FrankM

So, if someone spends hours writing a script that everyone hates, he or she gets a 1, and then someone who didn't even bother to spend a second, also gets a 1?

That's not right...at all...

Quoted from Dreamscale

How do you know that, Zack?

Over on the Updates thread, Sean has 25 writers listed. Only 20 scripts in round 1. Though I think 2 writers are partnering up, so I guess that means only 4 writers didn't get something in for round 1.

Quoted from Dreamscale

So, if someone spends hours writing a script that everyone hates, he or she gets a 1, and then someone who didn't even bother to spend a second, also gets a 1?

That's not right...at all...

I agree. Writers who miss a round shouldn't get any points. If anything, they should be penalized a point.

Quoted from Zack

OK, yeah. I thought maybe some kind of scoreboard was up with 20 writers and their scores for Round 1. I'm personally dreading that...

Quoted from Zack

I agree. Writers who miss a round shouldn't get any points. If anything, they should be penalized a point.

Well, yeah, but a ZERO score in a week is pretty brutal. Just so they get less than someone who tried.

Quoted from Dreamscale

Well, yeah, but a ZERO score in a week is pretty brutal. Just so they get less than someone who tried.

I need whatever edge I can get. I say penalize them 10 points. ;D And make'em drink a pickle slushi. :X

Quoted from Zack

I need whatever edge I can get. I say penalize them 10 points. ;D And make'em drink a pickle slushi. :X

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D YES! AGREED!!!

Quoted from Zack

I need whatever edge I can get. I say penalize them 10 points. ;D And make'em drink a pickle slushi. :X

But, what if they like pickle slushies?

Could happen.

How could anyone like such a thing? :X

Quoted from Zack

How could anyone like such a thing? :X

Oh, God. It's real!

Script submitted. Not sure what I have. Guess we'll know soon enough.

Quoted from PKCardinal

Oh, God. It's real!

Hell, I have to deal with all these psychopaths for actively eat pickle pizza. I don't know what to do about them.

Pickle pizza? What is wrong with people!? Have we lost our collective minds!?

5 minutes, stragglers.
Funny, that's usually me down to the wire. Nice not to feel the pressure.

Quoted from LC

5 minutes, stragglers.
Funny, that's usually me down to the wire. Nice not to feel the pressure.

Surely no one is leaving it this late?!

I submitted mine about twenty minutes ago. And I like it, which means half of you will like it and half of you will hate it. ;)

We might be waiting a good while...

Although they were posted quickly last time.
See, that's me having a bet each way there. :)

How do you submit a script to the contest. I wrote one and can’t figure out how to upload? I’m on my iPhone using FD mobile.

http://simplyscripts.com/owc

If you're registered for the tournament...

Quoted from Kevin_L

How do you submit a script to the contest. I wrote one and can’t figure out how to upload? I’m on my iPhone using FD mobile.

You might have missed it, Kev. Don't be discouraged. Review some scripts by regulars, do a movie review, get known a little. Next thing you know you'll be sharing reads.

If you got in, great! Make sure to review the other entries.

Kevin, even if you missed this, you don’t have to be in the tourney to review the scripts. You’ll garner good will if you do. Also, multiple peeps here would happily return the favor. Myself included. I’ll even score it for you as if it were in, just to give you the flavor of how it goes. Gotta have thick skin though. This place isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s about getting better, not false praise. Also, watch for the next challenge. They’re a hell of a lot of fun, and good for improving.

And we're off. Thanks, Don!!

WOOHOO!!!!!

The Don once again rocks it hard, and Sean get alot of praise from the Kid, as well.

Twenty entries! I don't think anyone dropped out from Round 1! Good job, everybody and best of luck!

Quoted from JEStaats

Twenty entries! I don't think anyone dropped out from Round 1! Good job, everybody and best of luck!

At least one person must have if Libby is in. She wasn’t last round.

Yes, indeedy.
Warren is correct.

Quoted from leitskev

I didn’t realize I had to register. I asked if could I participate even tho I wasn’t in round 1. Someone said yes but my script will not be in the competition side of things. Which is fine. I hurried to get it written and couldn’t figure out how to upload . I’m using FD mobile on my phone until I get me a new laptop. It started glitching. I finally got it sent to Don few minutes after midnight asking he could turn it in to who uploads the scripts cause I didn’t know how or who. It’s not up so I’m assuming it won’t be. Which is fine rules are rules. Plus after I went back and looked I doubt anyone would read it due to so many simple errors. I think I had a decent story tho.

Thanks again for the advice ! Will definitely be checking out some stories.

Quoted from PKCardinal

Thanks for the advice! I’ll def check out the entrants. I’ve read a lot of comments on some scripts so I agree it’s not for the faint of heart. It makes since. To get your story made or at least a deal,you gotta be the best to beat the best. If they let me enter on the 3rd, I’ll make sure to know where to send and won’t wait till the last second.

Quoted from Kevin_L

This place is great if you get involved. It's good to see you are eager to.

If you can't get into this tournament, this place runs OWCs which are good to get involved in - you can check out the past ones to get a feel for what's involved.

Quoted from Kevin_L

Sean (Mr. Blonde) is running the tournament and it is entirely up to him, alone.

Don

As reviewers it is your job to put yourself in the shoes of the recipient. So, if the script is aimed at children, do not judge it by your own humour, instead ask yourself, would the recipient find this funny?

I don't want anyone to think I'm shirking review duty. Will be doing mine at night and I'll need the whole week. Need to get reg work done.

Quoted from DustinBowcot

The recipient for most of these then must be people who love boring, unimaginative and unfunny scripts because that’s pretty much all I’m reading so far. And I’m including mine in that bunch.

Quoted from Gary in Houston

The recipient for most of these then must be people who love boring, unimaginative and unfunny scripts because that’s pretty much all I’m reading so far. And I’m including mine in that bunch.

That's too bad to hear, as I have alot to go still.

We all love different kinds of humour.

Sitcom humour is more relatable than say Monty Python humour which is more creative. IMAO.

I’ll favour wacky comedy over safe comedy.

We’ll also have to think of the target market. If the script is for adults, children, teens, etc...

From experience, I’ve notice most people here prefer a drama over a comedy.

Quoted from Gary in Houston

The recipient for most of these then must be people who love boring, unimaginative and unfunny scripts because that’s pretty much all I’m reading so far. And I’m including mine in that bunch.

So if you're looking at these scripts through the eyes of someone who enjoys boring, unfunny stuff, does that mean all the scripts will be getting top marks from you? :P ;D

Quoted from Zack

So if you're looking at these scripts through the eyes of someone who enjoys boring, unfunny stuff, does that mean all the scripts will be getting top marks from you? :P ;D

I’m thinking of that scene from “A Christmas Story” where Ralphie has turned in his drab, boring, theme paper, and in his daydreams he envisions the teacher gushing over the poorly written paper and then writing “A++++++++++++++++++++” on the chalkboard while the other students hoist him on their shoulders.

That’s how I like to think of reviewers reading my crap. But then, like Ralphie, I’m quickly brought back to reality by the myriad of reviews.

Quoted from Gary in Houston

I understand you so much better now. ;D

Will be out of the loop for a few days as heading to my hometown in Victoria for my dads 80th on Sat Obviously I’ll have net but will be busy lol Look forward to writing my Rd 3 script on the plane home on Monday lol

I’ve read all the rd2 scripts but haven’t reviewed them all If you want a review plse feel free to PM me I’m not a fan of the anon thing so I’ll stay quiet lol

Quoted from stevie

Where in Oz are you actually from, Steve?

Kyabram in Victoria, Waz near Shepparton Two and a half hours north of Melbourne

I left home when I was 18, lived on the Gold Coast, in Cairns now back on the GC.

Quoted from stevie

Kyabram in Victoria, Waz near Shepparton Two and a half hours north of Melbourne

I left home when I was 18, lived on the Gold Coast, in Cairns now back on the GC.

Roger that. My sister lives on the GC. Thought you might have been anouther Sydney-sider.

Lol no thanks Having one - Lib - is enough ;D

What suburb is she in? I’m at Oxenford, very close to Movieworld

Quoted from stevie

Lol no thanks Having one - Lib - is enough ;D

What suburb is she in? I’m at Oxenford, very close to Movieworld

Mermaid Beach, not a bad spot.

Yeah nice

Apologies to all for getting off topic lol

Quoted from stevie

Yeah nice

Apologies to all for getting off topic lol

It’s pretty much the only thing happening on the boards at the moment, I'm sure no one minds :)

Safe flight and have a great time. See you in the next round.

Quoted from stevie

Lol no thanks Having one - Lib - is enough ;D

I beg your pardon?
I see all you know, now I'm Modding Off, well except when I'm out, or nodding off.. And even then...
There are two of us Sydneyites now, far as I know. :D

Quoted from LC

I beg your pardon?
I see all you know, now I'm Modding Off, well except when I'm out, or nodding off.. And even then...
There are two of us Sydneyites now, far as I know. :D

I say Sydney because people know it, I'm actually in Grays Point in The Shire (God's Country :P).

Quoted from Warren

I say Sydney because people know it, I'm actually in Grays Point in The Shire (God's Country :P).

Ah, you're in the South.
North, here. Also God's Country. Ha!

Quoted from LC

Ah, you're in the South.
North, here. Also God's Country. Ha!

Lots of good spots just outside the city. I'm close enough to get what I need from it, but far enough not to have to deal with it any other time.

Quoted from Matthew Taylor

Hey Matthew ,

Thanks for the advice. I’m eager but I think my eagerness made me stick my foot in my mouth. Just to clarify I meant the Be the best beat the best as a figure of speech. Not like I’m coming on here to show you all how it’s done type thing. Sometimes my fingers out run my brain.

Plus the trash I posted in the writing challenge. I’m not good by any stretch of the word, but I can do better than that. I have a feeling I’m done dismissed by a lot of people on here. What makes it worse I knew better. A lot people go by first impressions and I hope for those that see me as a joke let me hit the reset button.

I’m still may produce trash but I at least want people to see I put forth effort and take writing serious.

Thanks again !

Ignore the harsh critics and just keep going, Kevin. :)

Quoted from Kevin_L

Plus the trash I posted in the writing challenge. I’m not good by any stretch of the word, but I can do better than that. I have a feeling I’m done dismissed by a lot of people on here. What makes it worse I knew better. A lot people go by first impressions and I hope for those that see me as a joke let me hit the reset button.

I’m still may produce trash but I at least want people to see I put forth effort and take writing serious.

Thanks again !

No, we all start the same place and if you understand that, you'll understand that it's all about learning and getting better.

If I shat on you or if everyone did, don't fret.  Listen to what you think makes sense, Emulate to a degree those scripts you think look great and read well.

Most importantly, though, LISTEN TO WHATEVER I SAID!!  HA!!   ;D ;D ;D ;D

Test things out and see how it looks to you, and if you like it, try it out on the boards.  You'll learn alot and if you want to, you'll het alot better, and then, you'll get good!

You can do it!!

Quoted from LC

Ignore the harsh critics and just keep going, Kevin. :)

Thanks for the kind words...I don’t mind getting shredded if I put my best effort in. I know you can’t please everyone. I wanted to get something down and out to the community to break the ice. A way to kind of introduce myself. It’s like you think you’ll the know the outcome then it’s totally opposite then the epiphany hits lol. I should have said hey,” I’m Kevin nice to meet you all” and left it at that. Lol.

Quoted from Dreamscale

Thanks, appreciate that. I started to think I was going to be shunned before I got started. I like this side of you better than the feedback side of you. Lol. I named my new ulcer Dream lol.

Thanks a bunch !

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