https://documentcloud.adobe.com/link/track?uri=urn%3Aaaid%3Ascds%3AUS%3A637a14d4-7ff2-456e-a055-46a3bfd12a56
When an image conscious doctor sets out to solve the 130-year-old mystery surrounding the disappearance of a distant relative, he is horrified when he uncovers the shocking truth.
Daniel is my hero; Nap Sing, one of the five men apprehended in Chinatown in the opening scene, is his distant relative.
The story is based on true events. It is sad, shameful, and compelling.
If this doesn't format properly I am sorry. I  DO have it formatted correctly through Writer Duet.

I'm just a hobbyist, so take these with a grain of salt. Anyway...

Much improved, Diane. Well done.

The passages where Ah Wing is translating get tedious (because of all the repeating). You may want to try something like

DOCTOR  SMITH 
(to  Ah  Wing)
Ask  him  if  he  knows  what  caused this  redness  on  his neck.

Ah Wing speaks to Nap Sing in Chinese. Nap Sing responds.

AH  WING
(to Doctor)
He  says  it's  from  working  in  the cannery.  He  says  his  neck  gets  very sweaty  while  working  there.

Overall - I think you are going to be a writer. You have a knack for dialogue, imagery and authenticity.

That being said, I would not read on for this story - there is little urgency. i.e., I was not invested in finding out what happens.

I still think your writing is a just a bit dense, but given the leaps made from the first cut, you strike me as someone who is well on their way.

Hi, Diane... as Dave said, you do have chops and a thicker skin than I thought - given that you have returned. I honestly wouldn't bother helping (if you want to call it that) if I didn't think you had something.

Also, Dave is too modest, he's a 2 or 3 time Page finalist. Not to mention other prestigious competitions. He's sold quite a bit too. He has his preferences as you will too, but everything he says is worth considering.

Code OVER  BLACK: THE  FOLLOWING  WORDS :  This  is  based  on  a  true  events.

How can you fade in over black?

If you must use FADE IN... then the following would be more technically correct:

OVER BLACK:

SUPER: Based on true events.

FADE IN:

Blah-deblah-blah...


Of course, the OVER BLACK is a director choice and they may choose not to bother with it at all and put the SUPER over the establishing scene. I suppose though, that is also true of every part of the script.

Code EXT.  CHINATOWN.  VICTORIA  -  DAY  (May  1891)

The slug is wrong. You should put the main location first. So it would read VICTORIA - CHINATOWN. Also, there's no point in the date being in the slug. It belongs in a SUPER.

Code Victoria's  Chinatown.

Yeah... it's in the slug. Why repeat this?

Code Narrow streets and warren of alleys and passage ways.

This line is awkward. Try:

A warren of narrow streets, alleys and passageways.


So, your opening would look like this:

EXT. VICTORIA - CHINATOWN - DAY

SUPER: MAY 1891

Congested. Claustrophobic. A warren of narrow streets,
alleys and passageways.



If this doesn't piss you off too much, I'll check out more tomorrow. I'm UK... it's evening, and I'm about to watch a movie with my gf.

Good night.

Could only get half of this. Maybe something with the file. Cuts off at the scene with the doctors examining the four men apprehended.

From what I have read, it reads more like a novel or short story than script. Pacing is too slow. Realize its not an action picture but still needs a quicker pace.

The Logline:  When an image conscious doctor sets out to solve the 130-year-old mystery surrounding the disappearance of a distant relative, he is horrified when he uncovers the shocking truth.

Does not live up to your good concept.  I think it needs a lot of work.  "Horrified" and shocked at the same time by a 130 year old truth?  How about he uncovers a shocking truth that (has some impact on the present).  
The sentence construction is a problem, too.  Is is he horrified when he sets out, or after he solves the mystery?