Honey by Rhys Hicks - Short, Romantic Comedy - An awkward teen's plan win the affection of her crush attracts his attention for all the wrong reasons.  10 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

All I want to say is this is awesome. Great.job!  What adorable characters  and a sweet and entertaining story and well written.

Yea I enjoyed this as well - some good characterization, engaging story and tied it together nicely with a solid message - Confident Jock or awkward outcast, deep down we all want to be wanted.

I would take another look at your flashbacks, you take us into two of them, but don't take us out of any of them - they are confusing.

Nicely done

There are a few things I wouldn't necessarily do in my scripts (e.g., camera angles, etc.) - but - you obviously know what you are doing - so I'm leaving that alone.

SPOILERS

I liked this. Honey was an empathetic character and you got a lot out of her in ten pages. I liked the turnaround of Eric.

Nice job!