Lakeside by Rob Barkan - Short, Horror - A teenage graduation bash at a remote lakehouse is cut short by a hideous presence that emerges from the lake every six years. 22 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This was well paced. Kept the suspense, Kept the action. General consensus is not to use caps or italics in your action descriptions, so might want to think about that unless you plan to film yourself. Some descriptions and/or dialog could be rewritten, but nothing bothersome enough to call attention to in this review. Just generally thought it was decent. Didn't give too much away or over-explain anything. Strong on suspense, curiosity rather than zombies or gore. Lovecraft ancient evil type menace.

Oh, here's something. Bill should have been introduced earlier. He just shows up unannounced and becomes an important part of the story. Give us a little introduction to him first, just how I felt.

Also, Darlene is kind of out of it from the get-go, then she has her vision. Not sure if I'd recommend moving that up or back.

Finally, 1989 was a good year. Instead of saying Somewhere in the Northwest, why not just pick a specific place? Plenty of nook and cranny islands up there.