It's a living by Christine Locker and Lee Ann Riddle - Short, Drama - Financial hardship forces a wife to the streets to find trash for her husband to turn into treasures. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hello!

There are some typos here and there but nothing worth to discuss; the script is clean.

I liked the woman and the overall topic of people getting along; her masquerade felt unique.

A minor issue, to me, was that it felt as if the wealthy man found the grumpy husband's store only by accident.

The bigger issue then, is that the ending is a bit too far into reality. The grumpy man is confronted by a stranger and reconsiders his behavior toward his wife immediately. Done.

It somehow needs more spice: either more depth in the drama section or perhaps more irony or humor in the ending you have now.

It perhaps misses an angle. The wealthy guy could truly invest to get to know the fate of the woman. We could be in doubt if he isn't actually mad at her because of rummaging his trash can. Or he follows the grumpy man who controls his trash collecting wife like a pimp.

In other words, it goes to linear from A to B yet.

I however liked to follow the woman and the core of the story is fine. The resolution is just too everyday-logical by now.

All best

Thank you so much for your feedback. It really helps a lot and we'll look at the issues.

It's really appreciated.

Hey,

Just got done reading this, and thought it was well done. Only complaint, is how the wealthy man roughing up the husband was enough to change his behavior towards his wife. I don't know, seems rather sudden and slightly unrealistic. Plus, is he now treating her right out of fear of the wealthy man? Or because it's the right thing to do for your wife, who's out there rummaging through trash cans to supply his store?

I did feel bad for the wife and her situation, for sure. I was expecting some kind of twist, not that it needs one, but I had a feeling you were gonna pull the rug from underneath me.

I enjoyed it, keep it up.