Create a new thread in this board if you'd like your logline reviewed.  Please append "log line review" to the title.

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What is a log line (logline)?

A log line is a single sentence describing an entire story.  Usually a brief, one-sentence summary of a story that states the central conflict of the story. It can also provide a synopsis of the story's plot and an emotional "hook" to stimulate interest. Wikipedia




Thanks LC for the suggestion to make this its own thing.

Here’s mines: A young black male college student is falsely accused of having a substantial amount of illegal drugs in his possession causing him to suffer an unwanted consequence that could’ve been easily avoided.

Someone else’s advice: A young black male college student, falsely accused of a crime, suffers an avoidable consequence.

When it comes to writing, I consider myself a beginner. I have just started writing a speculative D&D film script called 'Balance of Power'.  I have the story and most of the important dialogue already in my head. I was searching around for some information and stumbled across this site and this post. I thought it might be fun to come up with a logline for my story, but found it almost impossible.  I'm stretching the term logline to the limit, but here goes... The greatest evil returns, a hero back from the dead, powerful emotions unleashed, love, hate, desperation, guilt, vengeance,  kingdoms at war, epic battles, a dangerous quest and a mighty entity facing an impossible choice.

Hi Daryl and welcome!  You've stumbled onto a great place full of very talented writers who are awesome at providing insight and help with problem areas in your scripts.  After a quick read of your proposed logline, I agree, it's a big too long and wordy.  You want to get as much "bang for your buck" packaged in a compact thought.

Here's my quickie response:

"Facing an impossible choice, a long dead hero is resurrected to wage an epic battle against evil forces."

Not having read your script, I have no idea if this is really what the story entails, but you get the idea.  You can tweak the particulars however you want, but use the "KISS" principle.  Not "Keep it Simple, Stupid" but "Keep it Short/Smart".

Best wishes with your script.  Please share it here when it's finished.

Kathy

Quoted from kcranford Hi Daryl and welcome!  You've stumbled onto a great place full of very talented writers who are awesome at providing insight and help with problem areas in your scripts.  After a quick read of your proposed logline, I agree, it's a big too long and wordy.  You want to get as much "bang for your buck" packaged in a compact thought. Here's my quickie response: "Facing an impossible choice, a long dead hero is resurrected to wage an epic battle against evil forces." Not having read your script, I have no idea if this is really what the story entails, but you get the idea.  You can tweak the particulars however you want, but use the "KISS" principle.  Not "Keep it Simple, Stupid" but "Keep it Short/Smart". Best wishes with your script.  Please share it here when it's finished. Kathy

Great advice here from Kathy.

Give us a sense of your protag (even if there are multipes) and the goal. FOr examle: Here is what Game of Thrones would look like:

Nine noble families fight for control over the lands of Westeros, while an ancient enemy returns after being dormant for a millennia.

I didn't catch that these two Logline review requests should have had their own threads. They'll get missed here... Well, one did.

Will fix them later. :)

P.S. Fixed Daryl's.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1690251703/s-0/highlight-/#num0

The other one was listed.